Rachel Puzzle

Rachel Puzzle by SelphieCan'tDraw

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<br--> Something something arranged marriage or whatever. By SelphieCan'tDraw.

Characters

Filbert Flinglesmith Fubar Pifflepaddleolopous III and IV + LXXIX

Apparently the Fae Lord of Jinx. Normally called Fubar for short. Could also be known as Edward Wong Hau Trivurusky III, but isn't. Of an uncertain gender. Nobody likes Fubar because he/she/it is irritating.

Current status unknown, presumably having a good laugh at all this.

Teardrop of Infinite Psyche

Also known as Gion, short for Legion. A rather scratched and cracked gemstone that has been cut into a very nice teardrop shape. Stolen from the Goblin Market and set into a very fetching silver necklace.

Currently in the possession of Rachel Puzzle.

Rachel Puzzle

Our heroine. A female human and certified librarian who is about 5'2" tall. Possesses all her arms and legs, as well as a head. Wears underthings. Born on the 12th day of Winter 18 years ago. Practices fencing, plays the piano and helps her mother out with alchemy in her spare time. Loves reading, collecting obscure knowledge and bubble baths. Winner of 2 Baronial fencing champions (under 18s division). Possesses long blond hair and blue eyes. No longer wears spectacles. Easily distractable.

Currently knocked out during an attempted escape from an arranged switcheroo marriage thing with Lord Blackheath.

Meredith

A maid with a large girth. Responsible for bringing breakfasts to Rachel. Has some sort of relationship with a castle guard and some guy named Francis. Or possibly a castle guard named Francis (ah hah!). Does not have a strong mind and faints easily when overwhelmed.

Currently naked, tied up with silk rope and gagged in a Rachel's bed. This is not quite as kinky as it sounds.

Princess Nadia

A deaf and blind princess.

Currently doing princess stuff, I guess.

Lord Blackheath

Also known as the Barbarian King. Has a reputation for horrifically maiming his multiple wives.

Currently maiming his multiple wives.

Prince Adrian

Crown prince of the realm. Does not have a reputation for horrifically maiming his multiple wives because he is single.

Currently eating chicken pot pie.

High Prince Jonathan

Brother to the late King Gifford.

Currently ruling the kingdom until Prince Adrian comes of age.

King Gifford and Queen Adriana

Ex-rulers of the Kingdom and parents of Prince Adrian and Princess Nadia.

Currently very dead.

Guards

There are two. They have armour and spears.

Currently thinking perverted thoughts about Meredith.

Washerwoman

She washes clothes.

Currently still washing clothes.

Ninja Maid

Princesses have been guarded by female guards ever since the incident with Crown Princess Joy during the reign of King Kenneth III. Her brother, King Kenneth IV, ascended the throne in 1205 and considered chastity belts and male guards to unreliable for obvious reasons. They tried to get eunuchs for a while, but there were no volunteers. The order of the Ninja Maids was started by King Tiffany (Don't ask) and is a secret order made for the guarding of Princesses. This maid is one of them. She has a killer right hook.

Currently carrying Rachel to an unknown destination (she has the arms).

Ninja Maid (The Second)

Also a ninja maid. Self-proclaimed perfect shot with the blow dart.

Currently carrying Rachel to an unknown destination (she has the legs).

Plot

This article contains spoilers! You were warned.

Chapter One

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