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File 159971026806.png - (32.87KB , 512x512 , panel1.png )
975978 No. 975978 ID: ce5cbd

30 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
No. 977923 ID: ce5cbd
File 160186659108.png - (81.16KB , 512x512 , panel13.png )

Man, what a lovely day out! A great time to go stop the world from blowing up.


Uh oh.
No. 977924 ID: ce5cbd
File 160186659406.png - (49.00KB , 512x512 , panel14.png )

A Mage Watcher.

"Oi bloke, you got a license for that wan-"
No. 977925 ID: ce5cbd
File 160186659702.png - (51.20KB , 512x512 , panel15.png )


I do not, as a matter of a fact. I should probably do something before I get arrested.

No. 977927 ID: f56a2b

Wand? Oh, no. This is just some shit my boss gave me. No, you want it? Here. License? What? Just take this stinky shit, I hate it, and I'm tired of the rash carrying it around is giving me. If I need a license to carry trash for my boss, I guess I'll be better off fired.
No. 977928 ID: cdabe3

Try not to stare at her tits and get incredibly aroused
No. 977950 ID: df76b1

rolled 88 = 88

Roll to seduce. Toss a Loin to your Watcher.
No. 977952 ID: 0af973

No. 977967 ID: 8fab7a

What, they want you to HAND IT OVER for INSPECTION, they said?

Move closer, threaten to give it to them. Watch them find something - anything - better to do.

If they actually decide to perform their duty, rather than avoid it like the plague they'd catch from touching this thing, admit you don't own it and that it was found in the trash.

Then ask if they, as an authority figure checking for unlicensed magical artifacts, aren't going to do something about the COSMIC ULTRA NUKE that's threatening to blow up the space station and half the solar system?
No. 977968 ID: 1a8428

Don't worry, I'm only going to use it in space, where the law doesn't reach probably. Do you want to come along? I assume you have some interest in not dying in the next couple of days. Could use some help making that not happen.
No. 978262 ID: 15a025

Wand? This is just a stick I dug out of a dumpster. You got a license or ID that says you can inspect my dumpster stick? Are you even a real mage watcher?
No. 980556 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479318806.png - (57.70KB , 512x512 , 1604793134698.png )

Judging by the Mage Watcher emblem on her cartoonishly large chest, it'd be a bad idea to question her authority.

"Don't worry, my boss gave it to me to borrow, just ask him! Technically, I AM going to be using it out in space anyway."

"Literally NEITHER of those things let you walk around with a wand without a magic license."

"Ah, well, alright Ms...?"

"Riede Shafthound."

...Yeah, sure.
No. 980557 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479319269.png - (63.83KB , 512x512 , 1604793060395.png )

"OK PAL I was just asking you where your license was I don't need to hold it YET!"

"Aw come on, it just gives me a light rash! Besides, if I don't the world's gonna blow up!"

"...I'm sorry?"

"Yeah! See the space station? It's gonna blow up half the solar system!"
No. 980558 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479320111.png - (43.10KB , 512x512 , 1604792817744.png )

No. 980559 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479320458.png - (59.47KB , 512x512 , 1604792822479.png )

"Huh, the USCR said it was just the decennial Cosmic Rave. Now that I think about it, it does seem strange that the Headmistress was complaining about it being postponed for another year or so."

...Alrighty then. Plan B.
No. 980560 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479320893.png - (53.41KB , 512x512 , 1604792827669.png )

"How about you join me so I can prove to you that we really are in danger? Then maybe later we can go for McBonalds or something for dinner?"
No. 980561 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479321138.png - (38.41KB , 512x512 , 1604793109111.png )

No. 980562 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479321584.png - (38.96KB , 512x512 , 1604792843704.png )

"I'm gonna pretend that that wasn't the world's shittiest attempt at asking someone out and say 'Fine, I'll hang around just to make sure you don't fuck around and that everything's going all right at the Station.' How are we getting there anyway? There's enough bureaucratic red tape that authorizing a teleportation spell onto the platform through the anti-magic field takes weeks if you're not the Headmistress or any other magical authority."

"I'm gonna fly there with a scooter."


No. 980563 ID: b1b4f3

Yeah you're gonna get rockets put on it or something and get some kind of protection to not die in space. Easy.
No. 980578 ID: 894419

You heard what I said!
No. 980592 ID: df76b1

Flying scooters isn't really my department. I'm going to see an expert, now.
No. 980611 ID: 094652

"The mega-corporation that took over the world intentionally fired all their non-predatory-business employees and now nobody in charge knows how to use trillions of dollars' worth of infrastructure and technology to save the world, so the corpos did the corporate thing and threw wage slaves at the problem. Hence my lack of funding.

Please help me I want to live to see myself in your bed tomorrow."
No. 980657 ID: e9d128

Well, Watcher Shafthound, I managed to weasel out three ways of getting to the station from my drunkard of a boss. Attempting to cut the red tape at the wizarding tower would be one, but I'd probably get distracted by the Headmistress's enormous... power. The next best option is to take the stairs in a mostly abandoned military base, but I'm not that desperate, yet. So, that leaves me with convincing someone who rightfully hates my boss to upgrade the company scooter.
I'm in over my head, and although I want to live, I don't want to die with any regrets, so you may have to deal with some shitty one liners and more than a few passes at you.
No. 984596 ID: ce5cbd
File 160947632211.png - (72.52KB , 512x512 , panel16.png )

"Yeah, I didn't have have very many options, so I decided to spare my legs and just fly there."

"Wait, but what about oxy-"
No. 984597 ID: ce5cbd
File 160947632518.png - (42.51KB , 512x512 , panel17.png )

"Oh hey we're here!"

"Stars damn it."
No. 984598 ID: ce5cbd
File 160947632922.png - (87.69KB , 512x512 , panel18.png )

An old rusty bell chimes as we enter the lobby. A soft voice rings out from the back.

"I'll be there in juuuuuuuuuuust a sec~!"

Looking at the walls here, I am stricken by the possibility that I should have thought of a game plan before walking in here.

No. 984599 ID: b1b4f3

Ask your new buddy to be your face for this transaction.
No. 984601 ID: e8bee9

"do you have any astronaut suits rated for low earth orbit? failing that, got any airtight helmets? also i want to make my scooter get to the space station, honestly not worried about getting back"
No. 984602 ID: b1b4f3

In case you missed it, the posters are wanted posters for Worker's boss. We need some subtlety here.
No. 984676 ID: ce5cbd
File 160964587911.png - (60.16KB , 512x512 , panel19.png )

"Oh right so the owner of this shop has a blood feud against Boss and by extension the entirety of Company so you're gonna have to take over from here."

"Are you serious? Wh-"

"Uh oh, here he comes."
No. 984677 ID: ce5cbd
File 160964588387.png - (87.25KB , 512x512 , panel20.png )

Aaaaand out he goes. Fantastic.

"Hello there, how can I help you today~?"
No. 984678 ID: ce5cbd
File 160964588736.png - (76.46KB , 512x512 , panel21.png )

I almost mistook the scooter mechanic for a girl for a second. Honestly, he doesn't look half ba-.

Focus. Slim figure. Stained hands. Likely the only employee of the place based on how small this establishment is. He seems like a nice man, but the apparent fixation to... "Company"'s boss is concerning. Proceed with caution.

"Ah! A Mage Watcher. Officer, what can I help you with?"

"Uh, right, I need to get this scooter capable of space flight. Also, do you have any space suits with full oxygen supply we might be able to use?"

"Ah, yes, the Space Travel Suite~. Let me just-"
No. 984679 ID: ce5cbd
File 160964589032.png - (53.55KB , 512x512 , panel22.png )

"Wait a FUCKING second. This is a Company scooter. Miss Watcher, where, precisely, did you get this?"


No. 984680 ID: e2f5cc

"Found it in the dumpster, cleaned it up a little."
No. 984684 ID: b1b4f3

You confiscated it pending an official investigation.
It's almost true!
No. 984698 ID: 874370

"Boss now has one less scooter on his personal belongings. Can you fix it so I can fly up to his window and rub it in his unwashed face?"
No. 984700 ID: f8fa51

Yup, definitely confiscated.
No. 984739 ID: 4d4283

I think it's better to say "confiscated" than "stolen". As a Mage Watcher there is a image to preserve (and is less shady).
No. 984939 ID: eb1fcc

this, with the stipulation we actually do it later
No. 986816 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161232091207.png - (57.80KB , 512x512 , panel23.png )

"Oh, well sir you may be delighted to hear that Company is currently under investigation for illegally distributing magical items to unlicensed users."

"R-really? Finally, the damn mutt is getting punished for something. But, why do you need his scooter?"
No. 986817 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161232091605.png - (43.71KB , 512x512 , panel24.png )

"As compensation for, uhhhhhhh, already confirmed crimes we've already seized a bunch of Company's assets as payment. This included."

"Hmmmm, alright. And why do you need the space travel suite?"

"So I can fly it up to his office and spit in his face." Whoever he is.
No. 986818 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161232091949.png - (51.28KB , 512x512 , panel25.png )

"That doesn't sound very pro-. You know what, yeah, he does deserve that!"

"Yeah! How soon can you get this scooter up and running? I'll need two space suits as well."

"I can get it ready within an hour. The two person space travel suite will be about 4000 Dobs!"

Aw fuck, that's like a month's salary.

No. 986819 ID: b1b4f3

Well, it's for the sake of the world.
Pay it and then convince the other dude to pay you back. Or at least pay half of it back.
No. 986823 ID: 0d0f23

Go in debt by offering an IOU on behalf of the mage watchers
No. 987967 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326579280.png - (49.41KB , 512x512 , panel26.png )

"Excuse me, I need to talk to a, uh, colleague for a second."

"Oh, certainly miss!"
No. 987968 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326579613.png - (60.83KB , 512x512 , panel27.png )

"Oi, you."


"The hell's your name anyway?"


No. 987969 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326580191.png - (48.87KB , 512x512 , panel28.png )

"Ok Worker, I managed to secure a deal but we need 4000 Dobs. Think we could split it up 50/50 o-"

"Oh right, that! Problem is I don't have nearly as much as 2000 Dobs."

"What? Why?!"

"Pay cuts, I've only been getting paid 200 Dobs a month the past two years or so."

No. 987970 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326580606.png - (32.23KB , 512x512 , panel29.png )

"Ok, so I'm just gonna have to use credit."

If this all turns out to be a fib the Mistress is gonna lock me up in the "naughty dungeon".

Cosmic Kings help me.

"Splendid~! I'll have it out in an hour or so."

At least I'll get a chance to rest.
No. 987971 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326581140.png - (36.85KB , 512x512 , panel30.png )

You know, I'm fairly certain space isn't supposed to open like that.

No. 987972 ID: b1b4f3

Stick your dick in it.
No. 987974 ID: afe7de

Watch in horror as your ex girlfriend pops out of the tear in space.
No. 987992 ID: 9a2966

Observe trepidatiously.
No. 988031 ID: a060c0

Politely state to whoever comes out of it that you are on Company time and can't deal with tears un the fabric of reality right now.
No. 988039 ID: ce39da

This; we can't do much else, and it would be best not to cause a scene while the bird still needs to think we're uninvolved.
No. 988618 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385013004.png - (17.31KB , 512x512 , panel31.png )

No. 988619 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385013365.png - (31.36KB , 512x512 , panel32.png )

No. 988620 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385013618.png - (89.54KB , 512x512 , panel33.png )

"You. Are you the one trying to reach the space sta-"
No. 988621 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385014319.png - (45.04KB , 512x512 , panel34.png )

"Look lady, I don't really have time to play around with weird gaps in space, I'm on Company time right now."
No. 988622 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385014656.png - (37.92KB , 512x512 , panel35.png )

No. 988623 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385014971.png - (46.54KB , 512x512 , panel36.png )

I think it's working!

No. 988625 ID: 1332e6

Looks like they trying to attack you from behind with portal nonsense. Luckily you are an OFFICE WORKER and as such has gained the survival skill of having an awareness to when your boss is watching you from behind when somebody is attacking you from behind.
No. 988627 ID: 894419

Because our soul has be so thoroughly crushed by the daily grind and unpaid overtime we have the natural ability to expertly dodge any work that isn't explicitly in our job description. Refer her to customer service in case she has more questions.
No. 988628 ID: b1b4f3

You should answer her question. She's trying to attack you anyway.
No. 988629 ID: ce39da

Grab the not-sharp edge of the sword and yank.

"Ma'am, do I need to report you to human resources?"
No. 988932 ID: 3a6df7

"Ma'am, I need to prevent the world from exploding, please let me di my job."
No. 991368 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161578407326.png - (60.24KB , 512x512 , panel37.png )

Oooooook lets cool it with the work jokes, believe it or not my job isn't 100% of my life.

Only 99% of it.
No. 991369 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161578407770.png - (31.37KB , 512x512 , panel38.png )

No. 991370 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161578408014.png - (33.96KB , 512x512 , panel39.png )

"Alright lady, yes. I have a Boss given duty to get to that space station and prevent it from blowing up."

"Then you're in our way. Now..."
No. 991371 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161578408331.png - (25.04KB , 512x512 , panel40.png )

"Why? Who set you up for this? Surrender and talk and you just might survive."

No. 991372 ID: b1b4f3

It's got a COSMIC ULTRA NUKE inside it. I'm guessing you don't know about that. If it blows, half the solar system goes along with it.
Why do you want to blow it up?
No. 991384 ID: afe7de

So you're saying you want the solar system to blow up? AND you're going around stopping anyone who would make it so the solar system didn't blow up? That's cold dude.
No. 991419 ID: ce39da

"I just said; boss said to. And I'd have thunk 'stop half the solar system from exploding so that we don't all die' would have been pretty self-evident."
No. 991420 ID: 8a51ec

"Are you aware there's a COSMIC ULTRA NUKE on that station? Because that'd be pretty embarrassing if you were just trying to blow up the station and accidentally erased half the solar system."
No. 1000714 ID: f0ab12
File 162131228440.png - (57.66KB , 512x512 , panel41.png )

"My boss who works at Company told me to."

"...Company? What company?"



"...So, uh, you do know that it's gonna destroy most of the solar system, right?"

"...Yes? Of course I do, you fucking buffoon. Why else would we be doing it?"

No. 1000715 ID: f0ab12
File 162131228958.png - (66.08KB , 512x512 , panel42.png )


"OUR WAYS ARE BEYOND YOU! Now stand still and disappear!"

Now THAT'S what I call a wand!

...Oh shit, she's probably gonna cast something.

No. 1000716 ID: 96c896

She's telling you to stand still so obviously you should dodge.
Don't let go of the sword though, steal it. Use it against her.
No. 1000723 ID: 6a2a09

stick your other hand into her mouth and pull her tongue so she cant verbally cast a spell. And then press yourself right up against her wand so she can't use it via gesture.
No. 1000725 ID: 9675f4

Punch her in the face, obviously.

Again with the "our plan is too complex for you to comprehend" cliché. Why don't you try for a change?

I bet you just said that because none of you could think of a motive.
No. 1000783 ID: ce39da

"You don't actually know, do you?"

Snatch the wand out of her hand, duh.

If she doubles down on the "incomprehensibility" of their reasons, fire back with: "I mean, you seem to comprehend it fine enough, so it can't be that hard to wrap my head around. C'mon, let's hear it. Use your words."
No. 1000807 ID: eb1fcc

"So you're ending the solar system for reasons you weren't told, likely for the profit of some bumbling old impotent?

Shit man you sure you're not working for the company too because that has their M.O. all over it."
No. 1001013 ID: f0ab12
File 162146084638.png - (36.28KB , 512x512 , panel43.png )

"You sure you can't tell me? If you can get it, then I'd definitely could."

"As if, you pest ridden cat!"

"You sure Boss didn't hire you too? Oh well."

"Hey! I said don't mo- OI!"
No. 1001014 ID: f0ab12
File 162146085001.png - (58.72KB , 512x512 , panel44.png )

No. 1001015 ID: f0ab12
File 162146085445.png - (55.29KB , 512x512 , panel45.png )

No. 1001016 ID: f0ab12
File 162146085737.png - (51.82KB , 512x512 , panel46.png )

[incoherent screeching]

Man, she just keeps on going. We're at a stalemate at the moment, but at this rate she's gonna attract a lot more unwanted attention.

No. 1001023 ID: 96c896

Let the sword go so it rubberbands back at her.
No. 1001024 ID: 26235b

Being a good Company Worker, you should act in a formal fashion. Tell her that you cannot return these items to her, but she may file an official request for compensation due to your company's operations. Then hand her the Company's trusty Form 269.F "Request for Compensation", which you always carry with you for obvious reasons, and help her fill it out.
No. 1001029 ID: 1f53e8

Keep pulling her arms away.

Then let go.
No. 1001042 ID: eb1fcc

Hell yeah, flex your Bureaucracy-fu!
No. 1001148 ID: fe1ece

Let her arms go, yes, but first tie them into a pretzel. Maybe see if you can't yoink the wand from her grasp first.
No. 1001156 ID: fb672b

You grabbed this person's sword. Threaten to unhand them with it.
No. 1001164 ID: cd5ee2

I know is a bad option buuuut... ¬°Surprise seduction atempt!
No. 1002524 ID: f0ab12
File 162273595853.png - (51.94KB , 512x512 , panel47.png )

You know, I don't mind not having the sword but the wand would definitely be an improvement.
No. 1002525 ID: f0ab12
File 162273596206.png - (20.59KB , 512x512 , panel48.png )

No. 1002526 ID: f0ab12
File 162273596564.png - (27.66KB , 512x512 , panel49.png )

No. 1002527 ID: f0ab12
File 162273596831.png - (29.07KB , 512x512 , panel50.png )

No. 1002528 ID: f0ab12
File 162273597405.png - (54.47KB , 512x512 , panel51.png )

Well, it worked. Got a cooler wand too.

Mana Storage - 3
Special - AT WILL: Change places with something whose volume is less than or equal of the caster within 5 meters of the caster.

"Alright, so for reasons I am not legally obligated to explain I am confiscating your wand. I'm faiiiiiiiirly sure if you contact Company we'll be able to recompe-"
No. 1002529 ID: f0ab12
File 162273598054.png - (48.85KB , 512x512 , panel52.png )

Oh. Right.

I forgot, we're flat broke.

No. 1002531 ID: 094652

Quickly swap places with the mage - not the sword, though! That goes in your hand!
No. 1002547 ID: 96c896

Yeah swap with mage, turn her attack against her.
No. 1002551 ID: 0fae41

Swap places with her sword.
No. 1002561 ID: 8e7efc

I like the swap with sword idea. They are holding the sword over their head so when you swap with sword you'll both disarm and then immobilise them by landing right on top of them.
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