[Burichan] [Futaba] [Nice] [Pony]  -  [WT]  [Home] [Manage]

Report completed threads!

[Catalog View] :: [Archive] :: [Graveyard] :: [Rules] :: [Discussions] :: [Wiki] :: [Discord]

[Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]
Posting mode: Reply
Name (optional)
Email (optional, will be displayed)
Subject    (optional, usually best left blank)
Message
File []
Embed (advanced)   Help
Password  (for deleting posts, automatically generated)
  • How to format text
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, MP3, MP4, PNG, SWF, WEBM
  • Maximum file size allowed is 25600 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.

File 159578597692.png - (71.85KB , 700x550 , 1.png )
973220 No. 973220 ID: 2c5282

Boldly Coming Reboot: The Wrath of Khrax!

Space: the final frontier. These are the adventures several courageous men and woman willing to brave the sea of stars. Their life long mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and civilizations. To boldly come where no man or woman has come before.

Discussion Thread (starting on the relevant post): https://tezakia.net/kusaba/questdis/res/108793.html#133475
239 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 975464 ID: 94f7a7

Nah, actually i was thinking the same thing. Since you can't really see me you should touch me at least. And i am very curious as how you feel as well.
>>
No. 975469 ID: b1b4f3

>>975452
Tell him he can touch you as much as he wants. You're sure he's a gentleman and won't do anything that will get you kicked out. I imagine he'd like to touch your face? And your hands? Most of your body is covered by clothes though.

Heh, you can talk about how when mammals are born, they crawl around on their hands and knees for a while until they gradually learn how to walk on two feet. They're not very good at it at first, despite what must be millenia of instincts helping out.
>>
No. 975475 ID: 894419

>>975469
Yeah, anything more intense than uh, publicly available appendages ought to be left for more private circumstances
>>
No. 975489 ID: 19da02

Totally not fair that you can see him fine and he can't see you at all. Tell him to do as much touching as he wants. Hope he does/doesn't notice/feel/smell how aroused it makes you.
>>
No. 975501 ID: 36784c

>>975452
>Why did you wear a pair of tight fucking pants today!?
It’s only a problem if you get turned on enough that your dick rips a hole in them and sticks out where everyone can see it.

>Yes, I can suck both of my dicks as well, you perv.
That answers the question of how many dicks he has. It also lets you know that when he mentioned getting tied in a knot earlier, he was indeed talking about getting his dicks tied together.

>What do?
You guys should finish your food before it gets cold.

And if you guys want to get all touchy feely with each other, you should probably find somewhere private to do it and not here in a public area where everyone can see you!
>>
No. 975767 ID: f9bc61

>>975452
That sounds like fun, but I'd like to finish our meal first before we do any hands-on studying. Don't want to get dirty while we eat, you know? The not-so-fun kind of dirty, that is.

While we do that, it would make for a good topic of conversation. For example, he was interested in our sense of balance. That actually takes a lot of practice; younger children crawl around on the ground before they learn to walk upright. And we don't usually notice it, but most of the time we're constantly making small motions and adjustments in order to stay upright. We don't really "stand still" unless we're trying to stay totally motionless.
>>
No. 975835 ID: 2c5282
File 159951235531.png - (107.96KB , 700x550 , 28.png )
975835

>Whelp that answers your question you had earlier on whether or not we was dual wielding.
But there still so many questions unanswered! Like length, girth, dexterity… spines? …barbs? Shit, you really hope he isn’t as pointy down there as he is in his mouth…
>It’s only a problem if you get turned on enough that your dick rips a hole in them and sticks out where everyone can see it.
The main problem is that you’re currently sporting a rather large bulge that’s clearly visible to anyone that can see under your table. You’re just happy he’s blind and can’t accidently see it.
>He can start with your feet and legs, so that he can do it under the table. A little less public that way.
Let’s not ask him to start touching it either…

>You're sure he's a gentleman and won't do anything that will get you kicked out.
Sir Ztolt is a true gentleman and you trust that he won’t do anything too eyebrow rising in public. Still not letting him go under the table, though.
>You guys should finish your food before it gets cold.
You’ve been eating while listening. It’s almost all gone by now.
>Play it cool, sip your drink. Smile.
Yeah, you’re cool… you’re not a nervous wreck, no sire… cool as fuck… just smile and… don’t think about fucking this up…
>Hope he does/doesn't notice/feel/smell how aroused it makes you.
…which is why he’s staying above the table… hell, you really hope he can’t smell it…


>Snrk, well alright. When you put like that how could I refuse. Go ahead.
:ZtoltBC: Hey! Y-you know I didn’t mean it like that! I just wanted to-
:TristanBC: Don’t sweat it, mate, I know what you meant. I’m just messing with ya.
:ZtoltBC: Oh… o-of course…
>And if you guys want to get all touchy feely with each other, you should probably find somewhere private to do it and not here in a public area where everyone can see you!
:ZtoltBC: I’m just going to feel your face a bit. That’s not odd enough to require privacy… unless it’s something lewd for your kind?
:TristanBC: Lewd? No, it’s not like… heh… handholding or anything. Now that’s lewd!
:ZtoltBC: Handholding? Really? You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t hold your hand, as it’s kind of hard for me to move around without my front legs. Now, tail wrapping on the other hand…
:TristanBC: Oh? That sounds… scandalous~
:TristanBC: Tail wrapping leads to fucking, everyone knows that! Hehe…

>He should start with our probably sensitive ears.
:ZtoltBC: While I do want to feel those round discs of yours, I’m more interested in your facial features. After all, those things are just some huge fucking circles; it’s not that hard to hear their form.
>I imagine he'd like to touch your face? And your hands?
:ZtoltBC: Actually, your hands sounds weird as shit as well.
:TristanBC: My hands? Really?
:ZtoltBC: I keep thinking that they have a finger to many, but that can’t be right.
:TristanBC: I do have a finger more than you do on my hands?
:ZtoltBC: …you do!? …shit… you guess really are odd.
:TristanBC: You’re the one to speak, cutie.
>Most of your body is covered by clothes though.
:ZtoltBC: And? So is mine? No, I just want to know what you look like… the rest of you can wait.
:TristanBC: …until we’re alone in your bedroom, mate?
:ZtoltBC: …m-maybe?
:TristanBC: Sweet.

He disappears below the table for a second before suddenly appearing right next you, managing to glide under it as if it was water. Sitting down beside you, he gives you a large, toothy smile before lifting his hands up towards your snout. He wait just long enough for you to give him a sign to proceed before he starts moving his claws gently over your head, exploring it thoroughly but carefully.

:ZtoltBC: Hmm? What is this wet thing at the end here?
:TristanBC: That’s my nose.
:ZtoltBC: Oh… of course… and these teeth? Are they for… breaking through hard shells or…?
:TristanBC: They are for sucking your blood! Bluh!
:ZtoltBC: Wait, what? Really?
:TristanBC: Well, originally, yes, if you go back a few hundred thousand of years. Now we only use to eat meat…
:ZtoltBC: Heh… so now you only suck, eh?
:TristanBC: Hey! We’re a proud fucking people of suckers, thank you very much! We mostly suck dick nowadays, but still.
:ZtoltBC: Hehe… of course you do…

His hands move to your cheeks… and start playing around with your fur.

:ZtoltBC: You’re… fluffy.
:TristanBC: Hells yeah, I am the fluffiest motherfucker.
:ZtoltBC: It’s like an river of fluff!
:TristanBC: Okay, I’m not that fluffy, surely.
:ZtoltBC: I admit, it’s because I wasn’t expecting you to be fluffy? You don’t sound fluffy…
:TristanBC: And I’m guessing it’s a pleasant surprise because ow, you hind leg just scratched me.
:ZtoltBC: S-sorry.
>>
No. 975836 ID: 2c5282
File 159951236496.png - (52.59KB , 700x550 , 29.png )
975836

>Say, can you do an active sonar scan? Like by actually emitting ultrasound?
:ZtoltBC: Haven’t you heard me clicking? That’s how I knew how to find you before. Though, it’s not perfect when there’s so many scumsuckers making noise and other things for the sound to bounce off from. But if I ever get you submerged in water, then you’ll hear what I can do!
:TristanBC: Snrk, you know, if you wanted me naked in a bath, you should have just asked, handsome.
:ZtoltBC: D-darkness, Tristan, stop that! You know that wasn’t what I meant, cutie!
:TristanBC: Hehe…
>That'd give you a pretty good resolution of both the shape and some of the internal anatomy of my body.
:ZtoltBC: Well… maybe? I don’t know how thick your body is but… it might be worth a try?
:TristanBC: It would be kind of neat.

>I didn’t look up your species beforehand, felt like it kinda defeated the purpose of meeting and learning about a literal alien species if you just read everything about them before the first meeting.
:ZtoltBC: Isn’t that kind of dangerous?
:TristanBC: I did read about anything that could be considered dangerous. Rather not have this day end with someone taking a trip to the hospital, eh? But did you read anything about my species?
:ZtoltBC: To be honest, I kind of didn’t have to time too. I mean, I looked you up, but there’s barely anything out there about you that’s easy to find… so… yeah… mostly the dangerous shit as well.
:TristanBC: We are the newest wankers around, so it’s kind of a given that there’s little info about us fuckers.
:ZtoltBC: Then I guess we’ll just have to learn along the way together, eh? It’s easier to cross the river with a partner after all, even if we’re a pair of scumsuckers.
:TristanBC: Fuck yeah!
>Heh, you can talk about how when mammals are born, they crawl around on their hands and knees for a while until they gradually learn how to walk on two feet.
:ZtoltBC: Really? We Raolme can run around like little shits as soon as we burst out of the egg, though by instinct we never venture far from the nest for the first year or two. But having wobbly legs for a few days after hatching isn’t that odd.
:TristanBC: Actually it takes us a year before we can even walk… and we don’t hatch from eggs.
:ZtoltBC: You… don’t? Oh, of course, you… are grown in birthing pods like the Tuul then?
:TristanBC: No?
:ZtoltBC: …you build your offspring from your own body like the Flaûgnir?
:TristanBC: Nope.
:ZtoltBC: …then you… split apart and clone yourself like those shape changers? …oh! Wait, of course! You grow in the ground! Like the Mrrgh!
:TristanBC: …now you’re just making things up?
:ZtoltBC: But if it isn’t… you’re not like the Gartag, surely? Giving live birth?
:TristanBC: Err… yes?
:ZtoltBC: Oh, geez, that’s horrifying! How can you handle having your own body being eaten from the inside like that!?
:TristanBC: What? No, that’s not… they pop out the same way they came in, alright! Like laying an egg?
:ZtoltBC: Oh… um… r-right…


:ZtoltBC: So… um… this is starting to get a bit awkward…
:TristanBC: I agree, so let’s change the subject.
:ZtoltBC: No, not that, though that doesn’t help, but… well… usually getting to know someone like this goes both ways?
>>
No. 975837 ID: b1b4f3

>>975836
Touch the Raolme. Touch it now. Give pets.
>>
No. 975838 ID: a9af05

>>975836
Ask if he's giving you permission to give him head pats and snout pats? If he says yes, go ahead and start giving him pats!
>>
No. 975839 ID: ce39da

"Sure, I'll humor you." Start touching his face. "The two eyeballs in my head already give me a pretty clear picture, is the thing. It'd be a different story if the room were too dark or you weren't right in front of me - different ways of perceiving all have their ups and downs, I guess!"
>>
No. 975843 ID: f8fa51

Do it! You can see him just fine, but there's definitely details to learn from touch, like texture, temperature. Our fingers are very sensitive sensory organs. Plus, I think it would make him more comfortable to be doing this the "normal" way for him.
>>
No. 975845 ID: 36784c

>>975836
Remember how you were resisting that urge to pet the tiny mobster? I think you can stop resisting now and start petting the tiny mobster!
>>
No. 975846 ID: ff3732

Oh I'm going to touch the hell out of you!... Withing reason given we are in public.
>>
No. 975847 ID: 2aa5f0

well might as well touch around his face and see what he feels like, and if it happens to take the form of petting well things just kinda happen.
>>
No. 975848 ID: a38353

Give em the ole pat pat.
>>
No. 975850 ID: 9f00f4

So does your kind have an instinct for social grooming? Or your culture recognize anything like that? We kind of have one from way back when, but civilization has limited it to things like brushing the hair of family, lovers, or close friends, and petting and rubbing domesticated companion animals, and giving massages to lovers.
>>
No. 975851 ID: ba56e6

>>975836
I've been checking you out all night, but I won't complain about getting permission to cop a feel.
>>
No. 975857 ID: e19a40

Before properly petting him feel his cheeks with your palm, use the tips of your fingers to slowly descend from the base of his jaw through the sides of his neck until you reach and grab his shoulders, than move one hand further down to his chest while the other dears to accompany his arm and hold his hand. After a few seconds release him because hand holding is supper gay.
>>
No. 975858 ID: 894419

>>975857
But this is supper, and Tristan is gay!
>>
No. 975873 ID: 9f00f4

Might as well explain the 'handholding as lewdness' joke/meme/reference. It originated as a criticism of overzealous censors doing blatantly unnecessary censorship in media, and then became its own joke. Handholding as a public display of affection isnt actually risque.
>>
No. 975878 ID: 5c1acd

>>975836
well you've been been given the go-ahead to act without worrying too much about offending his cultural norms, carefully run a hand from the exposed part of the back of his head up to his snout, just be sure not to snag the bowtie.
>>
No. 975886 ID: 9f00f4

>>975873

Also, on that note, FUCK CENSORSHIP!

>>975836

Good god, how much more resolution are you losing by not being underwater? That's it, we have GOT to go swimming together! Do you know a place where we can swim and can be as loud as we want?

>>975836

Are there any types of people that develop in eggs, but those eggs hatch internally, and the young come out without the egg? Some animal species do that from my world.
>>
No. 976069 ID: 2c5282
File 159986370048.png - (76.52KB , 700x550 , 30.png )
976069

Mistake from the last post, it’s supposed to be Ztolt saying “Tail wrapping leads to fucking, everyone knows that! Hehe… “, not Tristan.

>Might as well explain the 'handholding as lewdness' joke/meme/reference.
Ztolt is intelligent enough to understand that on his own… and seeing as he made a joke about tail wrapping leading to lewd stuff, which he compared to hand shaking earlier, right after you said that it’s clear that he understood the joke.
>FUCK CENSORSHIP!
YEAH! FUCK THE OPPRESSION!

>Remember how you were resisting that urge to pet the tiny mobster? I think you can stop resisting now and start petting the tiny mobster!
Must… pet… cute… dragon… mobster…
>Touch the Raolme. Touch it now. Give pets.
YOU’RE GOING TO TOUCH IT! BY HELL, YOU’RE GOING TO TOUCH THE SHIT OUT OF THE RAOLME!


>Ask if he's giving you permission to give him head pats and snout pats?
:ZtoltBC: …I said you may touch my face to feel my texture and form.
:TristanBC: But… pats?
:ZtoltBC: …*sigh* fine, you may pat…
:TristanBC: SWEET!
>Oh I'm going to touch the hell out of you!
:ZtoltBC: H-hey, take it easy!
:TristanBC: Pat pat!
:ZtoltBC: Ugh…

Letting your hand lightly caress his head, you’re surprised how his scales feel against your fingers. You were expecting some kind of more reptilian feel, akin to an alligator, but it feels more like a… fish? Not to mention that the spines on his cheeks and neck are surprisingly sharp. His ears, on the other hand, are nice and kind of floppy! Oh, and it’s a delight to pat his little head…

:ZtoltBC: C-can you do something more than just pat me?
:TristanBC: But I love patting ya…
:ZtoltBC: I don’t like getting patted…
:TristanBC: Alright, time for scratches then!
:ZtoltBC: Time for wh-

Taking him by surprise, you decide to bring forth your secret weapon, scratches! As soon as you find that special spot behind his ear, you can outright feel his body purr as he leans into your hand in a vain attempt to increase the scriches received. Of course, the real snitch here is his hind leg, as it is scratching against the floor, similar to what he was doing earlier when you called him handsome.

:ZtoltBC: Ngg!?
:TristanBC: What was that, Sir Ztolt?
:ZtoltBC: S-shut up…
:TristanBC: Heh…

>So does your kind have an instinct for social grooming?
:ZtoltBC: No? I mean… we don’t have anything to groom in the first place?
:TristanBC: So you don’t clean each other? …or give massages? Or hug?
:ZtoltBC: Hugs happens, yes, and so do massages, but we don’t clean each other, no. That’s what we used to use those sucker fishes for.
:TristanBC: Sucker fish?
:ZtoltBC: Yeah, it’s kind of an old, expensive tradition nowadays, but we used to lay in the rivers back home and let the fish eat us clean. Of course, nowadays we just take a freaking bath and get the shit off that way, like normal people.
:TristanBC: Huh…
>Hold his hand.
You let your hand travel down his neck, past his bowtie and down his shoulder. It is really… round? Rounder than you thought? Then you continue your path across his arm, noticing on the way that it is seemingly bendable on far more places than your own arm, before finally arriving at your destination. As you embrace his hand with your own, it’s clear he doesn’t fully understand what you’re doing, making it feel like you’re holding the hand of a… well… pet… um…
>After a few seconds release him because hand holding is supper gay.
But what if you want to be super happy, huh?
>But this is supper, and Tristan is gay!
This is lunch, not supper… and you’re not gay, you’re more like… bi? Pan? You’re whatever you are when you like dicking cute girls, getting dicked by cute guys, getting mounted by handsome, blind dragon boys and are willing to get blown by a creature whose mere visage will drive normal people mad. But fuck labels, they are just shit that’s get in the way anyway. If you want to fuck an eldritch abomination, you’re going to fuck and eldritch abomination!

>Good god, how much more resolution are you losing by not being underwater?
:ZtoltBC: Resolution? No, it’s more like… some parts are… missing? Undefined? There’s often so much noise and other things around when you’re out like this, making it hard to hear the details, but if you under water… well… then it’s easy to hear everything. Not to mention that the vibrating water goes around your body, making you look more… well… 3 dimensional? Out here… well… at times I hear your body stretching all the way back to the wall behind you, making it hard to hear just how big you are.
>That's it, we have GOT to go swimming together! Do you know a place where we can swim and can be as loud as we want?
:ZtoltBC: As I said, I usually just use the large pool back home, but we will probably not be left alone there. Otherwise… I’m sure there are a few public baths around? …or spas? I’m sure I can pull a few strings to get one cleaned out on short notice. Or we can just use my tub if you can do without swimming around part.
:TristanBC: Hmm… well, it would be fun either way…
:ZtoltBC: Wait, weren’t we going to that pub? …or was it the festival? Or do you rather go for a swim?
:TristanBC: It is tempting…
:ZtoltBC: Either way, I’m going to need to… um… visit the gents first, but after that… what do you want to do?
:TristanBC: Hmm… let me think… but first thing first!

You give him a quick scratch behind the ear, to the surprise of Ztolt but to the delight of his foot.

:ZtoltBC: Ah! H-hey, s-stop that!
:TristanBC: Make me~
:ZtoltBC: …f-fine… continue…
:TristanBC: Scritchi scrich!
>>
No. 976071 ID: b1b4f3

>>976069
It's more like you're holding a foot, isn't it? What about his neck, looks like there are some bigger scales there or something.
Anyway this is probably embarrassing for him so that's enough scritches for now.

I still want to go to the festival.
>>
No. 976072 ID: 2aa5f0

well I say head to the pub next and see how the two of you are feeling after that. If you both feel lazy and want to relax hit a spa or something low effort, if you both feel fine that continue with the original plan and head to the festival.
>>
No. 976081 ID: ba56e6

>>976072
Agreed
>>
No. 976100 ID: 652b23

>>976072
A pint never goes wrong. And Festivals always have something interesting to do.
>>
No. 976138 ID: 36784c

>>976069
Alright, you've had your fun, but I think it's time to stop now. He seemed to be getting a little uncomfortable with the petting.

>Pub or festival?
Do you know how strong the alien alcohol is? You said it yourself, you easily get shitfaced, so even their least alcoholic drink might knock you on your ass!

I think skipping the pub and going straight to the festival might be better.
>>
No. 976143 ID: 9f00f4

Both the pub AND the festival sound fun! Besides, just stay with the alcohol by volume (and quantity of liquid) you're used to and you'll be fine.
>>
No. 976208 ID: f8fa51

Yeah, you were going to go to a bar, so go do that.
>>
No. 976390 ID: 2c5282
File 160012692867.png - (71.14KB , 700x550 , 31.png )
976390

>It's more like you're holding a foot, isn't it?
It’s more like holding the paw of an animal, so yes, it’s kind of like holding a foot.
>What about his neck, looks like there are some bigger scales there or something.
Most of the scales on his neck are pretty much the same, though there are some sharp spikes on the back of it.


>Anyway this is probably embarrassing for him so that's enough scritches for now.
:ZtoltBC: …thank you.
:TristanBC: So… do you want to continue later?
:ZtoltBC: … … …*huff* m-maybe…
:TristanBC: heh…
>A pint never goes wrong.
:ZtoltBC: A what?
:TristanBC: A pint? You know, a fucking glass of piss water that gets you shitfaced?
:ZtoltBC: Oh! You mean a chug of knockout juice? So I gather you want to hit the bar next then? Though I’m not sure I’m up to getting shitfaced, because by the darkness sake, that doesn’t sound pleasant.
:TristanBC: Heh, the idea is not to get shitfaced, but mistakes are made when you’re drunk, eh?
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, no fucking shit…
>After the pub, if you both feel lazy and want to relax hit a spa or something low effort, if you both feel fine that continue with the original plan and head to the festival.
:ZtoltBC: That sounds like a plan, though remember that I owe you a dinner, right?
:TristanBC: Only if I get to pay for the lunch!
:ZtoltBC: Well, I was going to take the initiative and offer to myself, but if you insist.
:TristanBC: Hey, no sweat, mate.
:ZtoltBC: Then it is settled.

:ZtoltBC: Right, but before we leave I need to… um… visit the gents, yes. How about you pay for the meal while you wait?
:TristanBC: I’ll do that.
:ZtoltBC: Be right back, Tristan.
:TristanBC: Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave, Ztolt.
:ZtoltBC: I’m… not sure what you meant with that but I’m going to take it as a compliment, because why the fuck not, right?

And with that he walks away, disappearing into the depths of the café.
>>
No. 976391 ID: 2c5282
File 160012693671.png - (50.02KB , 700x550 , 32.png )
976391

>Do you know how strong the alien alcohol is? You said it yourself, you easily get shitfaced, so even their least alcoholic drink might knock you on your ass!
Don’t worry, you’ve been to that pub a few times before. After all, you’ve had a few gigs there and there’s always a party after those things!
>Just stay with the alcohol by volume (and quantity of liquid) you're used to and you'll be fine.
Right… which is usually so fucking simple when you’re nervous about a date while in the process of getting drunk…


:TozyBC: ‘ey, you there, the broad in the leather!
:TristanBC: Huh? Who? Me?

Suddenly, a… female(?) Raolme, and a rather fat one at that, skitters across the floor towards you, stopping abruptly right in front of you.

:TozyBC: Who else would I be talking to, eh wise guy!? See, some people don’t appreciate you getting too close to Sir Ztolt, so you better leave or we’ll need to teach you some respect, capiche?

She tries and fail to discreetly hand you 100cred bill, which isn’t even enough to cover the lunch you just ordered…

:TozyBC: ‘ere’s for the trouble. For darkness sake, this doesn’t need to be ‘ard, you just need to leave and forget about this and we’ll forget about you as well! Bada boom bada bing!

…who the fuck is this wanking git of a shit stain who is trying to piss all over your bloody date? Damn pillock is just begging to get her arse kicked!

:TozyBC: So take the moolah and get out of ‘ere, chump!
>>
No. 976394 ID: cdabe3

... is she his sister
>>
No. 976395 ID: f56a2b

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood. Run along now."
>>
No. 976397 ID: a1c44a

Even if I hated him for such a pathetic bribe I'd keep seeing him out of spite. Unlucky for you I happen to really like Zotl. Now please leave me alone.
>>
No. 976398 ID: 2aa5f0

pretend your translator is being wonky and purposely misunderstand her.

Sorry my translator is acting up, you want change and to take a dump? Well ask the cashier for some change I guess and bathrooms are that way.

keep mishearing them. Oh and if it tries to bit you just hit it with a chair.
>>
No. 976405 ID: a38353

"wow, didn't know assholes could speak, but here you are."

don't even bother with them.
>>
No. 976410 ID: bc4729

Mate, i don't want any trouble, but we are going to have some if you keep being a prick. I am trying to have a nice date with an handsome young man and you are being a bother. So pretty please, fuck off?
>>
No. 976412 ID: cf24dd

Make sure you take a picure of them. Just be polite and offer them a seat until ztolt gets back. Just chat and waste their time, annoyed is okat but you don't want their family actually getting angry at you.
>>
No. 976416 ID: b1b4f3

Tell her that Ztolt told you about his sisters. She's going to have to start showing him some respect if she wants an ounce of yours. She can start by fucking right off.
>>
No. 976421 ID: e19a40

Don't answer her, don't even say anything. Ignore her as much as possible while you pay the bill and wait for Ztolt to return. Whatever is going on here you better consult him.
>>
No. 976422 ID: b1b4f3

If you do take a picture, don't forget to set it to Raolme mode.
>>
No. 976424 ID: 36784c

>>976391
Pretend your translator isn’t working and announce loudly. “What’s that? You want to pay me to have sex with you? Sorry, I’m not a prostitute. Besides, I’m currently in the middle of a date, so I can’t leave.”

……hey, Tristan, can you whistle? Because Raolme are sensitive to loud noises, so if she keeps messing with you, you can whistle at her.

All you really need to do is stall until Ztolt comes back. Just make sure you don’t let this lady bully you into leaving. And no matter how much money she tries to give you, don’t take any of it.
>>
No. 976426 ID: f8fa51

>>976421
Agreed. You don't know who this is or what this is about, and anything you do say could betray your ignorance. Yes, there's some assumptions you could make but nothing concrete. Just ignore them.
>>
No. 976442 ID: ba56e6

>>976412
This.
>>
No. 976447 ID: a9af05

>>976391
I wonder if she's one of the sisters that Ztolt mentioned?

Just ignore her until Ztolt comes back. Don't let her try to force you out either.
>>
No. 976448 ID: 3d5d68

>>976391
chill, no need to cause a scene which would mess with the date.
not enough info on who this is to start talking shit, best politely turn them down and wait for Ztolt to come back.
>>
No. 976479 ID: ba56e6

Ztolt definitely did not have that accent. Did she rig her translator intentionally to sound like a movie mobster?
>>
No. 976521 ID: 2c5282
File 160030238225.png - (93.07KB , 700x550 , 33.png )
976521

>Pretend your translator is being wonky and purposely misunderstand her.
While it might be funny, you’re not sure you can come up with enough bullshit to make it sound believable.
>Oh and if it tries to bite you just hit it with a chair.
That’s a horrible idea! Chairs are slow and expensive! No, instead you kick them in the balls! …or in this case, their… head? It’s kind of in the right place?
>Hey, Tristan, can you whistle? Because Raolme are sensitive to loud noises, so if she keeps messing with you, you can whistle at her.
Hmm… that might work, sure, but it might also hurt any other Raolme around, including Ztolt, so it’s a bit of an overkill?
>... is she his sister.
…maybe? You’re not sure how to tell but… she’s green instead of red and both her ears and snout has a different shape compared to Ztolt, so… maybe not?
>Ztolt definitely did not have that accent. Did she rig her translator intentionally to sound like a movie mobster?
You’re pretty sure she’s trying to sound like a movie mobster from one of their movies and the translator is using the slangs from our movies to compensate… wait, doesn’t that mean that they are teaching the translator by showing it our movies?
>Chill, no need to cause a scene which would mess with the date.
Right. As much as you want to give this bitch a verbal beat down, you’re on a date… and need to keep fucking calm for once…


>I am trying to have a nice date with a handsome young man and you are being a bother. So pretty please, fuck off?
:TozyBC: Oh, but that’s the problem, you dimwitted broad! The boss said that no one was go out with the boy, so they sent me to make sure it stayed that way, see?
>"You're lucky I'm in a good mood. Run along now."
:TozyBC: Oh, I’m sure you’re in a good mood after I gave you that… hmhm, incense, hmm? Now, if you want more where that came from, doll… why… just blow Sir Ztolt and be gone!
:TristanBC: …I’m pretty sure you meant incentive, not incense… and you made it sound like you wanted me to- you know what, never mind. Here, you can your comically small bribe back…
:TozyBC: Oh? It’s not enough cabbage for ya, toots? Then how about this?
:TristanBC: ...that’s 20 credits more… I can buy… what… a fucking soda with that?
:TozyBC: You can buy two sodas! …err… two small sodas… um…
:TristanBC: …yeah, how about… no?
>Even if I hated him for such a pathetic bribe I'd keep seeing him out of spite.
:TozyBC: How about if I offer you this sweet ice!?
:TristanBC: That’s a keychain…
:TozyBC: It’s a diamond!
:TristanBC: Made of plastic…

>Just ignore her until Ztolt comes back. Don't let her try to force you out either.
:TozyBC: I see you want to do this the ‘ard way, eh? Fine, then let’s do this the ‘ard way! If you don’t leave right now I’ll make sure you’re going to need a meat wagon, capiche?
:TristanBC:
:TozyBC: I’ll make you enter the big sleep, you dimwitted bim!
:TristanBC:
:TozyBC: I’ll give you a Razzikan Overcoat to sleep in!
:TristanBC: …*sigh*
>Just be polite and offer them a seat until ztolt gets back.
:TristanBC: How about this, you can take a seat, shut the fuck up and wait for Ztolt to come back?
:TozyBC: No way, you’re leaving before ‘e gets back, or I’ll bop ya!
:TristanBC:
>Make sure you take a picure of them. Don't forget to set it to Raolme mode.
You quickly pull out your datapad and snap a picture of her. It makes the same weird clicking sound as last time.

:TozyBC: D-did you just take a picture of me!?
:TristanBC: Yes. Now sod off or I’ll show it to Ztolt.
:TozyBC: Oh, fuck no, you’re not! Give it to me!

She stands up on her hind legs in an attempt to get closer to your eyelevel while opening her maw to show of row after row of wicked teeth. It might have been a bit intimidating if it wasn’t for her losing her balance and having to grab your leg to prevent herself from falling over.

:TozyBC: Do you know who I am!?
:TristanBC: Should I?
:TozyBC: I’m fucking Tozy of the Xai family! I’m going to ruin your darn life and all your friends lives if you don’t-
:TristanBC: OKAY, ENOUGH! Listen here, you little shit, I have no idea who you are, why you trying to do this or for whom, but know this.
:TozyBC: I w-
:TristanBC: If you so much look at one of my friends I’m going to shove your head so far up your fucking arse that it’s going to be protected by your freaking ribcage, capiche?
:TozyBC: B-but I- err…

You see her head dart to the side, as if she just heard something and it doesn’t take long for you to figure out what. At the other side of the café you can see Ztolt leaving the bathrooms and starting to make his way over to you. Too bad he’s blind and can’t see this fucker trying to intimidate you.

:TozyBC: Aw, nincompoop! This isn’t over!

She’s starts to leave, letting go of you and landing back on all four of her claws. If you wanted to, you might be able to keep her for Ztolt to find… or you can just let her go and hope she’ll stay out of the way…
>>
No. 976523 ID: b1b4f3

>>976521
Hmm, right. A stalker, then. I'm guessing either Xai is a rival family, or she's claiming to be someone she isn't. Since she didn't leave when you asked I guess you're free to show the picture to Ztolt. No need to make her stay here; that would probably cause more trouble than it's worth.
>>
No. 976525 ID: 36784c

>>976521
Call out to Tozy and say, “By the way, I’m not a broad, I’m a guy.”

I don’t think you should keep this a secret. You should tell Ztolt about what happened and show him the picture you took.
>>
No. 976527 ID: 2aa5f0

bet she's just some girl that has a crush on Ztolt and either hasn't approached him for one reason or another or was rejected for being a bitch. Maybe bring her up but honestly it would rather just to focus back on the date.
>>
No. 976530 ID: b1b4f3

He'll be able to smell her anyway, hiding it would make you look bad.
>>
No. 976532 ID: 14c138

Tell her to stop being an creepy otherfucker and leave Ztolt alone.
Then tell him what happened, he deserves to know. But be reasuaring, don't make a fuss out of it.
>>
No. 976533 ID: 0d6409

If anything the photo seemed like a good plan to intimidate and maybe get insurance, we don't need to bring it up and stress our man Zstolt out on the first date.

As long as your honest later its fine, this is a first date, just don't keep it a secret. No real harm done anyways right? Just some weird jealous nobody who got in the way of a great date so far.
>>
No. 976540 ID: a38353

Xai was Ztolt's family i think, so it was probably somone related to him in some way atleast. weirdly entertaining, though.

We should tell Ztolt the whole thing.
>>
No. 976541 ID: f8fa51

Them calling you a broad isn't important. You really don't care if they know what your gender is, or their opinion on much of anything really, as long as they stay away from you and Ztolt.

As for trying to stop them from getting away... why would you? You have a picture, and you wanted them to go away and leave you alone anyway. The real question is whether you want to show Ztolt that picture. It might ruin the mood.
>>
No. 976551 ID: ba56e6

Let the dumb broad leave.
>>
No. 976559 ID: a9af05

>>976521
Ztolt is going to smell Tozy's scent on you, so there's no point in trying to hide that she was here. You might as well tell him what's going on.
>>
No. 976560 ID: 19da02

Tell him that some crazy chick wanted you to blow him in the bathroom, which you aren't opposed to, but thought it would be polite to ask him first.
>>
No. 976633 ID: 2c5282
File 160046924322.png - (81.94KB , 700x550 , 34.png )
976633

>I'm guessing either Xai is a rival family, or she's claiming to be someone she isn't.
Wait, didn’t Ztolt say his family was called Xai? Which means… they are related? So she was his sister or… did she lie? But why lie about that? She might just have been a shitty liar, of course…
>Xai was Ztolt's family i think, so it was probably someone related to him in some way at least.
Sir Ztolte tol Xai… which you guess means the Xai family… so they were related? Or…?
>Bet she's just some girl that has a crush on Ztolt and either hasn't approached him for one reason or another or was rejected for being a bitch.
If she had a crush on him it would be kind of awkward if they were indeed related… which means she has to have lied about it if that’s her motive. Or she can be a really distant relative? …or maybe they don’t fucking care about gross shit like that? They are aliens, who knows!?

>Tell her to stop being a creepy motherfucker and leave Ztolt alone.
:TozyBC: A wise gal, eh? See, I’m just doing my job, capiche?
:TristanBC: Well, go do your stinking job somewhere else then!
>“By the way, I’m not a broad, I’m a guy.”
:TozyBC: …y-you’re a wh- Aw shit.
>Let the dumb broad leave.
She scrambles off at a surprising speed for her… “size”, and you let her, figuring that it’s probably too much of a fucking bother stopping her to be worth it.

:ZtoltBC: Hmm, where you just talking to someone?


>He'll be able to smell her anyway, hiding it would make you look bad.
:ZtoltBC: *Sniff*Sniff* Why do you suddenly smell like cheap perfume?
:TristanBC: As soon as you left, some lady Raolme started harassing me about you.
:ZtoltBC: Huh? What? Who would dare to… why would… what happened?
>Tell him that some crazy chick wanted you to blow him in the bathroom, which you aren't opposed to, but thought it would be polite to ask him first.
:ZtoltBC: She wanted you to… that can’t be right?
:TristanBC: I’m pretty sure she meant blow this joint and leave you, but it came out wrong. She even tried to bribe me with 120creds!
:ZtoltBC: 120k? That’s a lot of pocket change just to ruin a date…
:TristanBC: No, 120 credits. No extra zeros or any other shit.
:ZtoltBC: …okay, that makes both more sense and less at the same time. Who would try to bribe someone with that petty sum?
:TristanBC: That was what I fucking thought!
:ZtoltBC: But you were joking about the blowing me in the bathroom, right?
:TristanBC: Err… sure…?
:ZtoltBC: Because we barely know each other, for starters. Not to mention that doing it in a fucking public toilet is kind of disgusting.
:TristanBC: R-right…
>You should tell Ztolt about what happened and show him the picture you took.
:ZtoltBC: Huh… I can’t shake the feeling I’ve met her before…
:TristanBC: She did say she was part of the Xai family…
:ZtoltBC: She did? Wait, what was her fragrance? Which color did she smell off?
:TristanBC: Dude, I don’t have that kind of bloody smell. I can say she was green, though.
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, she probably was from the Xaiken part then. They are rather far removed from myself, so it’s a given they would be broke as shit. Of course, this probably means someone hired her to annoy me.
:TristanBC: You don’t sound surprised at all.
:ZtoltBC: It’s probably one of my idiotic sisters… or both of them. I wouldn’t put it past those masturbators. Also kind of wished you would have kept that fucker here so I would have had a chance to teach her some respect and not to mess with me. No matter. Let’s forget about that and enjoy the rest of the day, shall we?
:TristanBC: Fuck yeah! Let’s forget about those wankers and party, mate! I just need to pay for the food and we’ll be off to the pub!
:ZtoltBC: A drink does sound like a smell in the eternal darkness right now.

Before you can leave, Ztolt’s tail whips around his body holding what looks like some kind of cigar.

:ZtoltBC: Also, of course I forget my lighter at home. You don’t happen to have some fire on you? Wait, maybe I should ask if the pub is smoke free or not. Wait, no, I should ask if you want a cigar as well first! …err… I mean, I should ask if you don’t mind me smoking… first…?
>>
No. 976635 ID: 4854ef

Tiny mobster continues to act like tiny mobster. Though you should probably check to see if this place allows smoking. Do you see any signs?
>>
No. 976636 ID: b1b4f3

>>976633
That "cigar" must smell completely unlike an Earth cigar considering how bad tobacco smoke smells. If you've got a lighter in your bag hand it over, but no cigar for you. Bad for your lungs anyway.
>>
No. 976639 ID: ce39da

"Eh, I don't think the smell is completely awful, and it's not like we were going to be doing oral. Sorry to say I don't have a light. Aren't those bad for you? Or is that just our biology and/or cigars?"
>>
No. 976646 ID: 2aa5f0

tell him not to worry about it and light up his fag if you can. and if you've been to that pub before you should know if they allow smoking or not.
>>
No. 976647 ID: 9f00f4

Don't mention sex stuff right now! It went badly last time, time to put the damn brakes on that!

Wait for alcohol to lubricate the conversation first before mentioning any sex stuff.

For example, he didn't have the cultural context of illicit homosexual liaisons in bathrooms, which stems from how in your world, homosexuality was taboo and/or illegal for centuries (and still is in some places), and men had to find private places for emotionless, quick trysts to find some level of sexual satisfaction. Really, the fact he was repulsed by the smell or lack of sanitation of all things means that his world is likely further from any equivalent taboos that would necessitate such furtive (and ultimately tragic if you think about it--they're about meaningless sex, not finding love!) traditions.
>>
No. 976648 ID: 36784c

>>976633
Pay for the food and go outside before you help Ztolt light his cigar. And don’t forget your umbrella! It’d suck if the sun fucked up your shit during your date!

Tell Ztolt that you’ll pass on smoking, but you don’t mind if he smokes. If he asks why you’ve got a lighter when you don’t smoke, tell him that one of your band mates also smokes and you carry it around for when he/she forgets his/her lighter. You’re a nice guy like that.
>>
No. 976654 ID: a38353

Smoke em if ya got em.
But not really, no smoking for us, but if we have a lighter help him out.
>>
No. 976659 ID: 14c138

Not a smoker but you are around places where people smoke, so all good in that department.
>>
No. 976733 ID: 6e6f32

Sure, I'll take a cigar. Though last time i smoked it was a blunt...
>>
No. 976740 ID: 3d5d68

>>976633
well of course you've got a light, burning things is sweet and you've got bandmates who need a light from time to time, although you've never had a proper cigar before... probably best to decline for now, with how well-tuned Raolme sense of smell is they are probably pretty intense... but fuck it, if he offers a try of his don't turn it down, you only live once
>>
No. 976752 ID: ba56e6

>>976654
Yeah.
Trist smokes, but not cigs.
>>
No. 976760 ID: 2c5282
File 160056369683.png - (93.33KB , 700x550 , 35.png )
976760

>Tiny mobster continues to act like tiny mobster.
While it is adorable, it’s also getting a bit concerning… after all, what if he is the son of some motherfucking mafia boss who’ll give you concrete shoes and throw you in some shitty lake as soon as you slip up and slight him? While you’re all for sticking it to the man, a genuine crime family might be a bit too hot to handle… not to mention that they’ll probably are part of the man in the first place... or you’re just having some crappy paranoid fantasies again and Ztolt here is fine and decent…

>Don't mention sex stuff right now! It went badly last time, time to put the damn brakes on that!
He does indeed seem a bit more prudish about the subject than you are, so you’ll probably need to tone it down a few notches.
>Last time i smoked it was a blunt...
You have no idea how he, or for that matter, this very world will react to the subject of dope. Let’s shut the fuck up about the subject until you know more. It’s not like your addicted or anything anyway… nor have any idea how the find the stuff here…
>Don’t forget your umbrella! It’d suck if the sun fucked up your shit during your date!
Don’t worry, you’re not that much of a stinking sod that you’ll forget your stuff, including the ‘brella and glasses.
>Pay for the food.
You’ll pay on the way out, no sweat.


>Smoke em if ya got em.
:ZtoltBC: Well, if you don’t mind me puff some scummy smoke…
>No cigar for you. Bad for your lungs anyway.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, this is a fine cigar, Tristan, not cheap shit you just puff. You don’t pull this kind of scum into your lungs, just getting it into your mouth is enough.
:TristanBC: They are still a toxin or some crap, no?
:ZtoltBC: These things? Nah, getting your hands on anything that’s dangerous is way to expensive around these parts… besides, why poison the body when you can get the good shit without it.
:TristanBC: So nicotine is illegal here?
:ZtoltBC: I have no idea what that is, but if it’s dangerous then probably?
:TristanBC: Hmm… my mate did have to give away her packet of fags when we arrived, now that I think about it… had to smoke these weird purple sticks since then…
:ZtoltBC: Don’t go for those cigs myself. Prefer the finer shit, you know.

>With how well-tuned Raolme sense of smell is they are probably pretty intense...
:ZtoltBC: Ha! These things aren’t for just any scum suckers, true, but they aren’t that bad.
:TristanBC: They do look fucking expensive if anything.
:ZtoltBC: Nah, these things aren’t that opulent. You can’t get the really good shit on this ass end of the galaxy without going through some major hoops. These things might be better than the scum you buy at the store, but that’s just because we grow it ourselves… I mean, we don’t actually… we just own the business that makes them.
:TristanBC: You make your own cigars?
:ZtoltBC: If you want quality for a fair price… though of course, it’s never made a profit, but getting this stuff is worth it.
:TristanBC: I’m sure it fucking is, mate.
>But fuck it, if he offers a try of his don't turn it down, you only live once.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, you can take a drag if you want later.
:TristanBC: I just might.
>You've been to that pub before you should know if they allow smoking or not.
:TristanBC: The bar does have a smoking section, so it should be fine. Want me to light that fucker up for you or do you want to wait?
:ZtoltBC: I was mostly concern about not getting it lit at all, but if you have some fire then by the darkness I needn’t worry! No, I’ll save these bad boys for when we’re sitting still and enjoying a glass of [TNF!].
:TristanBC: My arse do need a pint right now, true…
:ZtoltBC: By the way, why do you have a lighter if you don’t smoke?
:TristanBC: One of my mates in the band is a smoker and she’s complete shit when it comes to remembering to bring stuff with her, so I’ve just made it a habit to always have lighter on me for her sake. I’m just a fucking sweet guy like that.
:ZtoltBC: That does sound kind of like a sweet thing to do.
:TristanBC: Besides, it’s always fun to burn stuff anyway, heh.
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, can’t stand the smell of smoke myself, so no thanks.
:TristanBC: But speaking of burning daylight…

You arrive at the pub that you’ve had your recent gigs at, a place called Interstellar Harmonics. They specialize in weird alien music and even weirder alien booze, making it a perfect place for an alien like yourself to make some quick cash and get shitfaced. Not to mention they are the only place on this whole fucking planet that serves a proper fucking pint of piss water.

Outside you spot the new bouncer, who just happened to be your other roommate. He did talk about getting a job in security a few days ago, but you didn’t think it was at this place. What was this muscle heads name again? Eh… can’t really remember, but who the fuck cares anyway…

:TristanBC: Hey, my man!
:ReedBC: Eh? Oh! It’s you! Yo, bro! What’s up?
:TristanBC: Oh, not much. Just going for a pint with this handsome fellow here.
:ZtoltBC: Do you know this man?
:TristanBC: He’s my roommate, mate. So, are you going to let us in or…?
:ReedBC: Oh, err… well, about that, dude… we’re kind of full?
:TristanBC: …what? It’s the middle of the day? Why are you full already?
:ReedBC: Apparently there’s some kind of popular band playing tonight, so people have been reserving seats for the whole day just to not miss out.
:TristanBC: Fucking seriously?
:ReedBC: I know, it sucks, bro. I mean, there’s barely anyone inside right now, but that might change any moment, you know? So sorry, nothing I can do, dude.

You feel Ztolt tug on your jacket, signaling for you to bend down so he can whisper to you…

:ZtoltBC: You want me to deal with him?

…what does he even mean with that? It sounded kind of ominous. While you’re not really friends, this guy is still your roommate, so you’re sure you can persuade him to let the two of you the fuck in… probably. Of course, you can always just accept that this place is full and leave… but you really wanted that pint…
>>
No. 976769 ID: b1b4f3

>>976760
His name's Reed. What's the matter, don't like him very much?
No seats, huh? What about standing room? You're just looking to have a drink and listen to a little music. You won't be staying that long. Heck, it's pretty likely someone's going to miss their reservation anyway.

If he won't budge, see what Ztolt will do. It's a good test to see if you're in over your head or not.
>>
No. 976771 ID: f8fa51

>>976760
Ask Ztolt what he's suggesting. You don't want to be "that guy", and you can always go somewhere else if need be. No need to be pushy.
>>
No. 976776 ID: 3d5d68

>>976760
eh, in any other situation I'd say do whatever but you don't want any shit coming back on ye roomie. Goes against bro code. so it's fine, there's other places around. Maybe Ztolt can think of somewhere? or maybe it'd be an idea to head to the festival now and get drinks after
>>
No. 976787 ID: 19fdd8

>>976760
He's just doing his job. See if you can reserve seating too, though.
>>
No. 976789 ID: a38353

Eh, if the Bar is a no go we might as well just get to the festival stuff instead.
>>
No. 976795 ID: 2aa5f0

hmm, quick question. Do they have a beer garden at the festival? Might not be the same but if you can grab some booze and figure out what you two want to do at the festival once you finish your drinks it should all work out in the end.
>>
No. 976799 ID: ba56e6

>>976760
Ask Reed if there's some way he can swing it. You'll owe him one, he knows you don't cop out on that shit.
>>
No. 976872 ID: 36784c

>>976760
>You want me to deal with him?
Tell Ztolt that sounds really ominous and almost like he’s going to hurt Reed.

Remind Ztolt that Reed is your roommate and you have to live with him, so if he’s going to do something, ask him to please not do something to Reed that would hurt him.
>>
No. 976884 ID: 77abda

"Deal with him?" You are going to have to elaborate. You mean like, bribe him? That wouldn't be that bad. That's what money is for, right? If it's not money, then no, thank you, you can do something else for now.
>>
No. 976908 ID: a9af05

>>976760
Tell Ztolt to go ahead, but please don't hurt the person you have to live with.
>>
No. 976980 ID: 2c5282
File 160082074831.png - (77.46KB , 700x550 , 36.png )
976980

>His name's Reed.
Oh, yeah, that’s fucking right. Reed! That’s his name! You think…
>What's the matter, don't like him very much?
He’s probably a sweet guy who has his shit together, it’s just that you just don’t have a lot in common, seeing as he’s a muscle head sport guy and you’re… well… you.
>In any other situation I'd say do whatever but you don't want any shit coming back on ye roomie. Goes against bro code.
Not sure if you would call him a bro, but you would be a real arse to ruin his shit just to impress your date. So let’s try being a swell guy to him.


>hmm, quick question. Do they have a beer garden at the festival?
:ZtoltBC: …a what garden?
:TristanBC: An alcohol garden?
:ZtoltBC: …I have to admit, by the darkness that sounds fucking sweet, but I don’t think they have any kind of gardens at all at that place. As for alcohol, there’s either expensive, cultural stuff that’s an acquired taste or cheap shit that’s way overpriced.
:TristanBC: So… that’s a no then…
>Ask Ztolt what he's suggesting.
:ZtoltBC: Oh, you know… I’ll contact some people that will… heh… convince him to let us pass…
>Tell Ztolt that sounds really ominous and almost like he’s going to hurt Reed.
:ZtoltBC: What? Hurt h- I was just going to call his boss! Then it’s a simple task of explaining to them why it would be a good idea to let us inside, no?
:TristanBC: Uh huh…
:ZtoltBC: You know how it is. You know people who know people, so people always want to be on your good side and owe you a favor…
:TristanBC: I can’t say that I do… Either way, let me try talking to him first, alright?
:ZtoltBC: If you wish…
>It's a good test to see if you're in over your head or not.
He didn’t want to hurt him, sure, but… you’re still not sure if he was going to threaten people or not with that call…


>No seats, huh? What about standing room?
:ReedBC: Bro, you know what I mean when I say we’re fully booked, man. It means we’re full!
:TristanBC: Yes, I gathered as much.
:ReedBC: Also, I don’t think we have a room for standing around in…
>Ask Reed if there's some way he can swing it. You'll owe him one, he knows you don't cop out on that shit.
:ReedBC: Dude, you seem like a rad guy and all, but I don’t think you’ve ever owed me anything before?
:TristanBC: Wait, really?
:ReedBC: Or have you, dude? I usually don’t owe people things… it’s more fun to just help people, bro.
:TristanBC: Well, then you can help me and my friend here right now, eh?
:ReedBC: I don’t know… my boss wouldn’t appreciate me going around swinging anything that might be dangerous… and I don’t really see how me swinging anything would help you get inside, dude…
:TristanBC: …that’s not what I fucking meant…

>You're just looking to have a drink and listen to a little music. You won't be staying that long.
:ReedBC: Hmm… I guess there’s room right now…
:TristanBC: It’s not like we’re going to stay for the band everyone wants to hear. Hell, it's pretty likely someone's going to miss their reservation anyway or some shit.
:ReedBC: I don’t know, man… if my boss catches me letting people in when we’re full, dude, I might get in trouble…
:TristanBC: He don’t need to know, does he? If we leave before it get freaking full, not one arse will know that you let us in, eh? So no sweat, mate.
:ReedBC: I guess it wouldn’t hurt…
:TristanBC: And you would do a good deed, helping me and my date get a pint or two, eh? So what do you say, mate, deal?
:ReedBC: Date? That’s you’re date, bro? Man, how did you meet someone that fast after coming here?
:TristanBC: Oh! Glad you asked mate! I got a site just for you if you wish to meet cute aliens like this one here.
:ZtoltBC: I’m not cute…
:ReedBC: Well, they aren’t exactly my type, dude, but… well…
:TristanBC: Say no more. Here, let me show you something.

With well-practiced grace, you slide up right next to him and tap a few times on the data pad he is holding, bringing up the interspecies dating site you found earlier.

:TristanBC: Aliena Affinitas, when you want to meet a cute alien girl… or gent…
:ReedBC: Oh, that’s… I do have to give this site a look. Thanks man.
:TristanBC: So, are you willing to let us in now, mate? I’ll still owe ya… and worst case scenario you can just kick us out again, right?
:ReedBC: I guess… Alright, fine, just promise me not to cause a scene, bro.
:TristanBC: I promise, mate.
:ZtoltBC: You got my word, good sir.
:ReedBC: I’ll send you a message when people start arriving so you know when to leave, alright, dude?
:TristanBC: Sure, sure, don’t sweat it man. You won’t even notice we’re here.
:ReedBC: And good luck with the date, bro.
:TristanBC: Same, mate!
>>
No. 976981 ID: 2c5282
File 160082076046.png - (89.11KB , 700x550 , 37.png )
976981

The two of you find a vacant seat near the back of the establishment, where the two of you will get some privacy while still being able to see the scene, which is currently occupied by a large tank of water for some reason? You barely have the time to ponder why that is before you attention is stolen by Ztolt, who is trying his hardest to scamper up the tall chairs they have here.

:ZtoltBC: Ugh, these chairs aren’t designed for someone like me…
:TristanBC: I’m sure we can find some more suitable shit if-
:ZtoltBC: No, no, this is fine. Oh, and I’m impressed how you handled the muscles out there. You’re a fast scummer, if anything.
:TristanBC: Thanks?
:ZtoltBC: By the way, did you have a light?
:TristanBC: Right here, mate.

You flip open your lighter and let the flame engulf the end of his cigar.

:ZtoltBC: Was that… butane I smelled? How delightfully primitive contraption that thing is…
:TristanBC: Hey, we can’t all be massive fucking interstellar empires with super technology, you know.
:ZtoltBC: Hey, no sweat, we’ve all been the new species, you know. But thank you. Are you sure you don’t want one? They are some good shit.
:TristanBC: I think I’ll be content with just getting a taste from yours, Ztolt.
:ZtoltBC: But you really need to try it while sipping on a [TNF!], because by the eternal dark, it’s like the nectar from the source.
:TristanBC: Honestly, I was just going to grab a pint…
:ZtoltBC: A pint of what? You know, maybe we should try some of each other’s alcohol? We both order something interesting and let the other have a taste? Oh! But speaking of cultural exchange, this would be a great time to discuss your… well, our species as a whole, because I’m still kind of in the dark of whom you guys are. You are a bit weird, after all, standing on two legs and eating pretty much anything…
>>
No. 976984 ID: 77abda

Huh... what DO you know about your species, Tristan? Maybe you can ask him to ask you for more specific information and you can work around that. What did you learn in school?
>>
No. 976985 ID: a38353

Ah, Reed is a himbo, i see.

Oh yes, trying eachothers alcohol, that sounds like a good idea, small amounts though don't want to drink like an entire bottle of their equivalent of like...Everclear or something.

and talking about species stuff sounds like a good plan.
>>
No. 976987 ID: b1b4f3

>>976981
>sampling exotic beverages
Uh, sure. You tried a few other things but found something similar to what you have on Earth so you stuck with that.
Home comforts, am I right?
Still, an occasional adventure doesn't hurt.

>talk about our species
That's a bit difficult, since you don't know all the differences between you and most other aliens. How about he goes first, and talks about what's different between his species and aliens besides you? That should give you some idea of what to talk about.
Also, there are some things you can talk about without knowing what's different. Basic biology, like the skeleton and organs, sleeping and eating habits...
>>
No. 976994 ID: 36784c

>>976981
>your attention is stolen by Ztolt, who is trying his hardest to scamper up the tall chairs they have here.
Make a joke to him about how if he has trouble getting in tall chairs, you’ll be more than happy to grab his butt and help lift him up into the chair.

>drinks
Admit to him that you get shitface easily, so you won’t be ordering anything too strong. After all, you want to have fun on this date and you can’t do that if you pass out drunk!

>species discussion
Tell him to go ahead and ask you some questions and you’ll try to answer as best as you can.
>>
No. 976998 ID: f8fa51

No jokes about the chairs, I think he'd find that demeaning. Sure, an exchange of alcohol would be interesting. You want to ask questions, I'm an open book, but you sure you want to ask me things a computer could tell you?
>>
No. 977001 ID: 2aa5f0

>You know, maybe we should try some of each other’s alcohol?
Sure why not, ask what kind of drink does he like. As in does he prefer sweet drinks (go for something girly, like a margarita), something strong (a shot of whisky), or does he just want to try what you normally drink (just a normal pint).

>You are a bit weird, after all, standing on two legs and eating pretty much anything…
So just kind throw random trivia at each other about our species. Alright. Our spices can consume things that would be considered poisonous to most other creatures on our home world, like caffeine for example, but we can't consume saltwater even though it makes up around 70% of our planet's surface just because it's made up of 2% salt.
>>
No. 977088 ID: 9f00f4

>>976994
No jokes at his expense or innuendo right now!

Anyway, as far as drinks, start him off simple, with samples of beer, wine, maybe some non alcoholic drinks like a cola or iced tea.

Regarding your species, talk a bit about your evolutionary history -- what your animal ancestors were like and what they mostly spent their time doing, what the first pre-agricultural tool-users were like and spent their time doing, stuff like that. Things designed to give him a framework and context for odd behaviors that might pop up later!
>>
No. 977095 ID: 9ddc74

Check if he can consume the following substances: caffeine, cola nut, cocoa, coffee, tea, cow dairy. You want to try at least one of the main non-alcoholic drinks of your civilization: hot tea, coca-cola, chocolate milkshake (or hot chocolate), hot coffee, etc. Ask if he wants a hot or a cold drink, if thick drinks are okay, if he wants a stimulant, or an alcoholic drink. Narrow it down based on answers and what is safe for him.
>>
No. 977142 ID: 2c5282
File 160099047724.png - (60.21KB , 700x550 , 38.png )
977142

>Ah, Reed is a himbo, i see.
Hmm… he is a buff guy, sure, and you’ve never seen him being nothing but fucking sweet… not to mention that he’s clearly a berk with a head full of cabbage, though you’re not sure you would say he is attractive? But still, you might consider him sort of a himbo, yes.
>Make a joke to him about how if he has trouble getting in tall chairs, you’ll be more than happy to grab his butt and help lift him up into the chair.
…does he even have a butt for you to grab? There’s a tail and legs but… not to mention you’re starting to sound like a complete git if you continue making jokes like that. Let’s stop thinking with the knob end for a little while, at least.
>Check if he can consume the following substances…
This is an interspecies designed place. The menu includes a list of what is drinkable by whom.


>Oh yes, trying each other’s alcohol, that sounds like a good idea, small amounts though.
:ZtoltBC: Of course, of course. It’s just for the taste, after all. Heck, if they had a spit bucket around here we might even do it like a proper wine tasting and shit.
:TristanBC: Spit bucket?
:ZtoltBC: Hmm? Oh, you don’t… ah, never mind that scum. It would be rather awkward to sit around spitting on the first date anyhow.
>Admit to him that you get shitface easily, so you won’t be ordering anything too strong.
:ZtoltBC: Why is it called being shitfaced anyway? I mean… that is getting drunk, right?
:TristanBC: Hmm… I have no fucking idea, mate, but I can guess it’s from falling over drunk and getting shit stuck on your face. What do you wankers call it then? I heard you called alcohol knockout juice earlier.
:ZtoltBC: I usually just say that I’m getting a wiggly on the tail, but I’ve heard people call it getting knot brained… or having scum breath.
>You want to try at least one of the main non-alcoholic drinks of your civilization: hot tea, coca-cola, chocolate milkshake (or hot chocolate), hot coffee, etc.
:ZtoltBC: Hey, we have time for that later, mate, now is the time to get some scum on our breaths!
:TristanBC: We can at least drink something other than knockout juice every other drink. That’s a great way to keep yourself from getting to shitfaced!
:ZtoltBC: Really? I can usually keep myself from drinking too much shit in the first place, but that’s good to know.


>You tried a few other things but found something similar to what you have on Earth so you stuck with that. Home comforts, am I right?
:ZtoltBC: Can’t really relate to that, seeing as this has always been my home and has been it for my scum sucking family for generations. So this stuff is already home… of course, it kind of help that me make a lot of this shit ourselves in one way or another… but don’t they have anything from Earth here?
:TristanBC: They do, but it’s kind of expensive and I’m low on fucking dough as it is. So getting a cheap alien pint for a third of the price is worth it, seeing as it all taste like piss water anyway.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, you know, if it taste like piss maybe you should try something new? Oh, and don’t worry about the moolah, Tristan, I’m buying.
:TristanBC: Hey, no need to pay for my fucking sorry broke arse, eh? Makes me feel like a git if I’m just going to be a drain on your cash.
:ZtoltBC: Tristan, it’s just a few glasses of fine nectar. It’s fucking nothing. Trust me.
:TristanBC: Well, aren’t you just a knight in shiny armor coming to my rescue, Sir Ztolt.
:ZtoltBC: Heheh… if only it was that easy to earn that title…
>Start him off simple, with samples of beer, wine, maybe some non-alcoholic drinks like a cola or iced tea.
:ZtoltBC: Simple does sound fine, but let’s only order one drink at the time? Otherwise, everything will start tasting the fucking same, eh? How about we each buy one drink each and share it between us, hmm? That way, if it taste like… piss water we can always give it back, right?
>Does he prefer sweet drinks (go for something girly, like a margarita), something strong (a shot of whisky), or does he just want to try what you normally drink (just a normal pint).
:ZtoltBC: Something strong that you can savor. Not a shot or shit like that, but something that you can sip on while enjoying a nice cigar like a real fatherfucker.
:TristanBC: So, whisky it is!
:ZtoltBC: Whatever you said is fine!


>You want to ask questions, I'm an open book, but you sure you want to ask me things a computer could tell you?
:ZtoltBC: Because it’s a lot more fun hearing it from a fucking gent like yourself than from a boring computer.
:TristanBC: Mate, of course I’m more sweet to listen to than a shitty computer!
>Regarding your species, talk a bit about your evolutionary history -- what your animal ancestors were like and what they mostly spent their time doing, what the first pre-agricultural tool-users were like and spent their time doing, stuff like that.
:TristanBC: We used to be small herbivore bastards who hid around the roots of trees or scampered up the trunks on them, then someone came up with the idea of throwing sharp sticks and suddenly we’re omnivores.
:ZtoltBC: It took some time before we started throwing spears, instead we started making traps and nets, at first simple ones like holes and shit, but before long we should capture mammoths beetles and stab them to death from a safe distance. We also didn’t hang around trees a lot, instead preferring to float around on the rivers.
:TristanBC: Then we started growing shit because we figured you should get shitfaced on it.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, we have a similar story. We started growing shit because we needed to feed our [TNF!] larva, both for the meat they provided but mostly because they shat alcohol.
:TristanBC: Talk about piss water then, mate, hehe…
>Basic biology, like the skeleton and organs, sleeping and eating habits...
:TristanBC: We usually sleep for 8 hours each day, and have two large meals as well as a smaller breakfast.
:ZtoltBC: I usually take two 4 hours naps each day most of the time. As for eating, the normal thing to do is to either constantly eat smaller meals all day long, or one huge one that will last a day or two, though nowadays we usually do two or three medium sized meals.
:TristanBC: As for skeleton and organs… well, our skeleton is kind of boring and normal, I guess? Our organs usually comes in pairs, like lungs or eyes, or we just have one, like our heart and liver.
:ZtoltBC: We can move and grow our skeleton at will… and I don’t think I have any organ that’s… well… just one or two? Our bloodstream has muscles everywhere pumping blood while our lungs are small but plentiful all over our body. Even our brain is located across most of our body.
:TristanBC: Geez, you guys are weird…
:ZtoltBC: You’re the one to talk, mister “I only got one organ which kills me if it fails”. Where’s the redundancy?
>Our spices can consume things that would be considered poisonous to most other creatures on our home world, like caffeine for example, but we can't consume saltwater even though it makes up around 70% of our planet's surface just because it's made up of 2% salt.
:ZtoltBC: Your planet is 70% salt water? Where do you even live?
:TristanBC: On these huge ass continents? The seas are big, sure, but there’s still a lot of land.
:ZtoltBC: We only have one sea back on our origin planet, around one of the poles, but that’s it. And you guys can’t eat salt at all?
:TristanBC: We eat salt, just not salt water.
:ZtoltBC: …that’s just oddly specific… though remind me to never order you a glass of [TNF!] on the salt.

:ZtoltBC: Anyhow, when does the waiter come by?
:TristanBC: Nah, mate, we’ll need to head over to bar and order it directly from the bartender.
:ZtoltBC: Ah, yes, of course! May… um… may you do the honors? Because I swear by the eternal dark that I rather sit on the floor than scamper up this shoddy chair again.
:TristanBC: No prob, mate. One whisky, coming up!
:ZtoltBC: And I’ll take a [TNF!].
:TristanBC: …err… I didn’t quite catch that.
:ZtoltBC: A [TNF!]. [TNF!]! …oh right, the translator probably can’t handle a name like that… um… you pronounce it Sckʘeh, K!’nfc, Efgkǂrt, Kuksu-
:TristanBC: Yeah, no, don’t think I’m going to be able to say that shit, mate.
:ZtoltBC: Oh, well… then… um…
>>
No. 977145 ID: b1b4f3

>>977142
Alright I got an idea. Record him saying the drink's name, then play it back for the bartender.
You could also ask if there are stools more suited for Raolmes.
>>
No. 977147 ID: 2aa5f0

can... can he write it down?
>>
No. 977168 ID: 7c00d9

>>977145
If you have something to record him, it might do the trick. It sounds like scotch, but weirder.
>>
No. 977189 ID: 36784c

>>977142
Recording him might work, if the bar is quiet enough to clearly catch his voice. BUT!!! There’s also a chance the bartender won’t be able to understand the translation either!

So here’s what you should you do: Both of you have your data pads, right? Have Ztolt search for a picture of the drink he’s wanting, then have him send the picture over to your data pad. That way you can show the bartender the picture of what drink Ztolt wants!

And then you can just order your usual drink that you normally get here.
>>
No. 977201 ID: e9cd9e

Just ask for a Skoh Klonfk Vedge-kurt kuksu.
The bartend will probably understand.
Maybe.
Possibly.
239 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. [Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts] [Last 100 posts]

Delete post []
Password  
Report post
Reason