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962109 No. 962109 ID: 891b91

“INDIVIDUAL! Thou art before this tribunal to answer for thy crimes most grievous... Thou art charged with triple-recursive chronospatial inversion, dimensional deparallelization, probability manifold nullification, and toroidizing chrono-synclastic infundibula!”
263 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
No. 971220 ID: 36784c

Can’t we get our own pizza? With stuffed crust?
No. 971238 ID: f7cdf8

Yeah I feel like something is seriously wrong here between the...darkness thing, and the weird ass pizza guy, I don't think any of us think that's normal? So...I have a few theories,
1:This place has been sabotaged by someone who CAN do that,
2:Someone other than us is here and messing with it (Alternatively 1-b)
3:There's something up with our collective brainmeats causeing weird shit, like us suddenly having leylines in our head.
4:This place...broke, somehow, probably least likely but technically possible?
No. 971243 ID: 094652

It's pizza. Eat the pizza.
No. 971279 ID: f2320a

It looks like the thing that was outside but pizza?
No. 971280 ID: f2320a

MOVE AWAY THAT FISH FROM OUR SLICES REMOVE THE DISGUSTING THINGS THEY ARE TOXIC THEY WILL SLOWLY KILL US WITH MERCURY. I EAT PINEAPPLE BUT NOT THE FISH AND SPINE WITH THE HEADS. FISH SPINES STUCK IN YOUR THROAT jagged shard lodged into flesh. Like cat wiskers stuck in mouth or throat. They are going extinct. There are too many fish. This is worse then pineapple but moving the fish to that thing would make it happy. Also is not pizza guy hot. Warm body hope its not searing hot hmm does it feel pain? Also free food yay
No. 971288 ID: 4286b4

Eat only the middle of the pizza and leave the crust.
No. 971296 ID: f7cdf8

You have no room to talk.
No. 971333 ID: f2320a

I have room to talk its bad when someone rather eat pineapple then that shit
No. 971337 ID: f7cdf8

At least anchovy doesn't digest you back.
No. 971379 ID: a9af05

I agree with this! Stuffed crust is the best!
No. 971383 ID: afd902

Is there any part of us that isn't weirded out by this? Cause if so, that part might have been the unconscious basis for this.

Also, do you recognize anything about the little lady with the nice butt? Species, individual, mannerisms? Is there any reason to suspect that shes a real person (or that shes not a real person)?

Cause, somebody real to talk to would be nice. On the other hand, if shes not real, we don't have to feel bad about admiring that booty.

Also, think hard about stuff-crust pizza.
No. 971388 ID: 17bcce

We don't gotta feel ashamed either way, just don't be creepy about it. everyone can appreciate a nice ass.
No. 971981 ID: 15a025

Ask for a slice yourself or do you have to wait for another?
No. 976811 ID: f2320a

It digests you back like any good orky food
No. 981269 ID: 3994a2
File 160568038453.png - (181.63KB , 800x800 , nv1-013-1.png )

>Also, do you recognize anything about the little lady with the nice butt?
It's uh, hard to see her butt from up here, but it might be nice I guess.

Err, maybe some kind of slug... slime... thing? She seems a little goopy.

>individual, mannerisms?
Nothing about her seems familiar to me.

>eat pizza
>that the "pizza guy" just vomited out
Eeeugggh. I hate that I'm hungry enough that I'm actually going to eat pizza some monster vomited up.

I grab a slice, inspecting it as I pick the anchovies off. ...Well, it seems like normal enough pizza. Whatever "normal" even means in this place.

Hesitantly, I take a tentative bite. It's actually pretty decent.

"Huh. Not bad... for barf pizza."

"Yeh!" The customer nods enthusiastically, talking through a mouthful of pizza. "Anchovy always da best, bump!"
No. 981270 ID: 3994a2
File 160568039470.png - (275.19KB , 800x800 , nv1-013-2.png )

For a few minutes we eat quietly -- well, mostly, aside from her humming -- while I do my best to forget where the food came from. When she finishes, she looks up at me expectantly. I begin to say something, but she beats me to it:

"Daaang, you a big hoss, huh, bump?" She hops down from her seat and starts circling me, looking me over.
No. 981273 ID: e51896

"thanks? ummmmmm.... where are you looking at?"
No. 981274 ID: b1b4f3

Maybe you should try again to ask her what was up with the monster in the dark. And also that you didn't think you'd meet anyone here. Is she awaiting trial too?

Hmm is she gonna look at your junk? If she does, don't be bashful.
No. 981275 ID: 0fae41

Thanks, I made it myself.
No. 981285 ID: 864e49

Manifest Magnum dong for her viewing enjoyment.
No. 981286 ID: 3ed3c3

Well, yes. Relatively speaking to her, you are quite large.
No. 981288 ID: b43ff7


Time to see how much you can control this. Show... then grow.
No. 981289 ID: 2aa5f0

ask her what she's looking for
No. 981300 ID: f8fa51

Be somewhat uncomfortable in the face of this sudden and intimate inspection. Ask her what she's looking at.
No. 981303 ID: 4854ef

She's very smol in comparison yes. Though she seems so.. very used to all this madness.
No. 981306 ID: ce39da

"Thank you?"

"But yeah, I wasn't expecting anyone else to also be here... wherever 'here' is. What're you in here for?"
No. 981441 ID: 82d457

Ignore her question and ask her why she's in this place. Does it have anything to do with her ability to perform multiple actions at the same time?
No. 981442 ID: a9af05

Ask her if she really thinks your butt is that big?
No. 981450 ID: 36784c

The answer is: Yes, it is that big. The real question is: Is that a bad thing? No, it’s not a bad thing!

Klaatu should be proud of what their body looks like! And if anyone has a problem with it, then they ain’t worth our time!
No. 981484 ID: 1f194f

"Er, sorta. I'm more like a centaur, really. And, relative to you I am rather big. Big enough you could even ride me... Uh, but don't. Well, without asking first. I'd be rude otherwise."
No. 981485 ID: 8fab7a

Just... let her do whatever as long as it isn't too intrusive. The important thing is to ask her more about things, like anything that might help you resolve your whole situation here, and make choices that help you cohere faster.

Maybe she has tips? She's got to have cohered a lot more than you - or be one of the people - poor or not - that've fully cohered, been judged and are now stuck here effectively forever... yeesh. Tough luck.

>you a big hoss
Tell her maybe! You haven't coalesced very much yet so you don't even know if this is your final form. Anyway, your name is some percentage of Klaatu. What's hers?

... and what does she think of the judges and the defender and this whole messed-up situation in which you might be her fellow inmate forever 'n ever?

... and show her your cube. Does she know what it is and does? You were just fartin' about trying to do something, anything, with your supposed multiverse-bending prowess.

... and does she know what's up with the wastebin-world?

Ask them one at a time, and allow her a chance to retort and ask questions of her own.
No. 981634 ID: 15a025

Ask if she dropped something?
No. 981750 ID: 3994a2
File 160604843853.png - (412.24KB , 800x800 , 1-014-1.png )

>Hmm is she gonna look at your junk?

"W-wait, what're you looking at?!" I do my best to ignore the sudden wave of intrusive thoughts -- from other versions of myself? -- about, uh, enlarging a certain part of my anatomy.

"You got four legs, bump!" A floating hand slaps my thigh for emphasis. "Big hoss!"

"O-oh." I let out a nervous chuckle. "Well, um, I guess I'm more like a centaur, but I suppose I am pretty big, huh?" I decide maybe it's for the best that I don't suggest the possibility of her riding me.

"Mmmhmm!" She nods excitedly. "Biggest hoss I ever seen!"
No. 981751 ID: 3994a2
File 160604849196.png - (382.48KB , 800x800 , 1-014-2.png )

I quickly change the subject, hoping that the odd sensation in my hindquarters is purely imaginary. "So uh, what's your name? I'm Klaatu... or some percentage of me goes by that name, I guess."

"Pop Pop Pollock! Nice ta meetcha!"

"Likewise! But yeah, I didn't think I'd actually meet anyone here... wherever here is. What're you in here for?"

"Pizza!" She shouts, hopping energetically.

"N-no, I mean, um... are you awaiting trial, too? Why'd the judges put you here?"

She pauses, cocking her head slightly. "Dunno no judges, bump."
No. 981753 ID: e51896

So she lives in this weird place then? ok.
So, what do we do for drinks? or is the worm monsters' slimy saliva on the pizza supposed to be your drink?
No. 981754 ID: 094652

Ask her how long she's been stuck in this 'world'.
Was she born in it?
No. 981768 ID: 1e231e

Well, what does she spend her time on besides pizza? Can she show you around? You seem like you're not as... familiar with the area as her. Unless she's busy, of course?
No. 981769 ID: 2aa5f0

uh, a local maybe? I mean it's obvious you don't really have any real control over this place (as I'm sure you didn't want pizza monsters) and maybe things can leak into the ultra dimension or whatever it was called from the outside and merge together to make their own things?

Yeah I'm just going to say just go with it at this point I don't really have any damn clue what's going on any more and even if I did I would still just say go with it as we really don't have anything better to do as the judges said our "guilt" would show itself eventually and weird pizza monsters aside it's still more interesting then just wondering in a white void of nothingness. At this point I feel the only thing we can do is just to try and enjoy the ride and hope it takes us somewhere nice.
No. 981773 ID: 66d80e

Try to ignore how much your thigh and butt are jiggling from that slap.
No. 981775 ID: ce39da

So... is she just another product of your chunk of this dimension? Or did she drift over from someone else's?

Maybe ask how long she's been here; that should be telling.
No. 981778 ID: 8fab7a

Say it's nice to meet Pop Pop, too.

You don't know these judge fellows that well either, but they're the ones that brought you to this place. Maybe she's heard their names? Polonius, Titania and Jaswinder.

And some fellow called Kierkegaard is your defender. Or Kirk, you guess. 'n that's pretty much everyone you've met so far, since coming here!

Anyway, you're... you guess you're sort of on a journey of exploration to discover who you truly are?

What's she up to, besides pizza?
No. 981785 ID: f2320a

support also is she native here?
No. 981863 ID: 3994a2
File 160613504717.png - (263.44KB , 800x800 , nv1-015-1.png )

>Say it's nice to meet Pop Pop, too.
I did! I said "likewise!"

>Try to ignore how much your thigh and butt are jiggling from that slap.
Thankfully it was one of my front thighs, so I don't have to worry about the butt part at least.

"You don't?" Maybe she doesn't think of them as judges? "Polonius, Titania, Jaswinder? Kierkegaard? Any of those ring a bell?"

She shakes her head. "Nuh-uh."

Maybe she really is a native of this place. "Well, um, how long have you been here? Not in this pizza joint, but in this... in this world?"

She stares at me for a moment. "...I always been here, bump." It seems like the question confuses her.

I decide to try something a bit simpler. "So Pop Pop, what do you do with your time, besides eat pizza?"

"Explore!" I wait for her to elaborate, but she just looks at me, smiling.

"...O-oh, maybe you could show me around then? I'm still... pretty new around here."

Her face lights up. "Wan'me show ya 'round, bump? I know lotsa places -- like Blocky Circle, Itchy Stairs, Weirdo Heads, Up 'n Down Wiggle House, Hidey Slidey Hole, Ghost Stare Town... oh, and Big Melty Tower!"
No. 981865 ID: 8fab7a

Hm. Pop Pop may be a part of this place's coherence process or a product of it that went... um, poorly, or exceedingly well depending. Either way, she's given us a bunch of choices as to what to go look at now. Question is... which appeals the most?

My vote is she show us the Hidey Slidey Hole, on account of a hole that slides you into hiding actually sounds useful if we end up chased by some sorta monster again.
No. 981866 ID: 2aa5f0

Hidey... Slidey... Hole?
yeah let's just start off with that. Oh and if the kid happens to be slower then you (do to them being smaller) offer them a ride on your back. I mean they'd probably enjoy the experience and it would let you run like hell and not ditch the kid should something scary come at you again.
No. 981872 ID: 92e667

You will definitely need to visit all of those if you want your sanity to leave you :B
No. 981873 ID: a7094b

Weirdo heads. If they are sentient, they can give us info
No. 981880 ID: b1b4f3

Hidey slidey hole sounds lewd. Let's go there.
No. 981895 ID: ce39da

Let's see the Weirdo Heads; maybe they'll have something slightly more informed to say about our situation.
No. 981947 ID: cfc80f

Hidey Slidey Hole sounds like a bar to me for some reason, and I don't think I have a problem with that. ONWARD TO BOOZE!
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