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962109 No. 962109 ID: 891b91

“INDIVIDUAL! Thou art before this tribunal to answer for thy crimes most grievous... Thou art charged with triple-recursive chronospatial inversion, dimensional deparallelization, probability manifold nullification, and toroidizing chrono-synclastic infundibula!”
289 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
No. 981441 ID: 82d457

Ignore her question and ask her why she's in this place. Does it have anything to do with her ability to perform multiple actions at the same time?
No. 981442 ID: a9af05

Ask her if she really thinks your butt is that big?
No. 981450 ID: 36784c

The answer is: Yes, it is that big. The real question is: Is that a bad thing? No, it’s not a bad thing!

Klaatu should be proud of what their body looks like! And if anyone has a problem with it, then they ain’t worth our time!
No. 981484 ID: 1f194f

"Er, sorta. I'm more like a centaur, really. And, relative to you I am rather big. Big enough you could even ride me... Uh, but don't. Well, without asking first. I'd be rude otherwise."
No. 981485 ID: 8fab7a

Just... let her do whatever as long as it isn't too intrusive. The important thing is to ask her more about things, like anything that might help you resolve your whole situation here, and make choices that help you cohere faster.

Maybe she has tips? She's got to have cohered a lot more than you - or be one of the people - poor or not - that've fully cohered, been judged and are now stuck here effectively forever... yeesh. Tough luck.

>you a big hoss
Tell her maybe! You haven't coalesced very much yet so you don't even know if this is your final form. Anyway, your name is some percentage of Klaatu. What's hers?

... and what does she think of the judges and the defender and this whole messed-up situation in which you might be her fellow inmate forever 'n ever?

... and show her your cube. Does she know what it is and does? You were just fartin' about trying to do something, anything, with your supposed multiverse-bending prowess.

... and does she know what's up with the wastebin-world?

Ask them one at a time, and allow her a chance to retort and ask questions of her own.
No. 981634 ID: 15a025

Ask if she dropped something?
No. 981750 ID: 3994a2
File 160604843853.png - (412.24KB , 800x800 , 1-014-1.png )

>Hmm is she gonna look at your junk?

"W-wait, what're you looking at?!" I do my best to ignore the sudden wave of intrusive thoughts -- from other versions of myself? -- about, uh, enlarging a certain part of my anatomy.

"You got four legs, bump!" A floating hand slaps my thigh for emphasis. "Big hoss!"

"O-oh." I let out a nervous chuckle. "Well, um, I guess I'm more like a centaur, but I suppose I am pretty big, huh?" I decide maybe it's for the best that I don't suggest the possibility of her riding me.

"Mmmhmm!" She nods excitedly. "Biggest hoss I ever seen!"
No. 981751 ID: 3994a2
File 160604849196.png - (382.48KB , 800x800 , 1-014-2.png )

I quickly change the subject, hoping that the odd sensation in my hindquarters is purely imaginary. "So uh, what's your name? I'm Klaatu... or some percentage of me goes by that name, I guess."

"Pop Pop Pollock! Nice ta meetcha!"

"Likewise! But yeah, I didn't think I'd actually meet anyone here... wherever here is. What're you in here for?"

"Pizza!" She shouts, hopping energetically.

"N-no, I mean, um... are you awaiting trial, too? Why'd the judges put you here?"

She pauses, cocking her head slightly. "Dunno no judges, bump."
No. 981753 ID: e51896

So she lives in this weird place then? ok.
So, what do we do for drinks? or is the worm monsters' slimy saliva on the pizza supposed to be your drink?
No. 981754 ID: 094652

Ask her how long she's been stuck in this 'world'.
Was she born in it?
No. 981768 ID: 1e231e

Well, what does she spend her time on besides pizza? Can she show you around? You seem like you're not as... familiar with the area as her. Unless she's busy, of course?
No. 981769 ID: 2aa5f0

uh, a local maybe? I mean it's obvious you don't really have any real control over this place (as I'm sure you didn't want pizza monsters) and maybe things can leak into the ultra dimension or whatever it was called from the outside and merge together to make their own things?

Yeah I'm just going to say just go with it at this point I don't really have any damn clue what's going on any more and even if I did I would still just say go with it as we really don't have anything better to do as the judges said our "guilt" would show itself eventually and weird pizza monsters aside it's still more interesting then just wondering in a white void of nothingness. At this point I feel the only thing we can do is just to try and enjoy the ride and hope it takes us somewhere nice.
No. 981773 ID: 66d80e

Try to ignore how much your thigh and butt are jiggling from that slap.
No. 981775 ID: ce39da

So... is she just another product of your chunk of this dimension? Or did she drift over from someone else's?

Maybe ask how long she's been here; that should be telling.
No. 981778 ID: 8fab7a

Say it's nice to meet Pop Pop, too.

You don't know these judge fellows that well either, but they're the ones that brought you to this place. Maybe she's heard their names? Polonius, Titania and Jaswinder.

And some fellow called Kierkegaard is your defender. Or Kirk, you guess. 'n that's pretty much everyone you've met so far, since coming here!

Anyway, you're... you guess you're sort of on a journey of exploration to discover who you truly are?

What's she up to, besides pizza?
No. 981785 ID: f2320a

support also is she native here?
No. 981863 ID: 3994a2
File 160613504717.png - (263.44KB , 800x800 , nv1-015-1.png )

>Say it's nice to meet Pop Pop, too.
I did! I said "likewise!"

>Try to ignore how much your thigh and butt are jiggling from that slap.
Thankfully it was one of my front thighs, so I don't have to worry about the butt part at least.

"You don't?" Maybe she doesn't think of them as judges? "Polonius, Titania, Jaswinder? Kierkegaard? Any of those ring a bell?"

She shakes her head. "Nuh-uh."

Maybe she really is a native of this place. "Well, um, how long have you been here? Not in this pizza joint, but in this... in this world?"

She stares at me for a moment. "...I always been here, bump." It seems like the question confuses her.

I decide to try something a bit simpler. "So Pop Pop, what do you do with your time, besides eat pizza?"

"Explore!" I wait for her to elaborate, but she just looks at me, smiling.

"...O-oh, maybe you could show me around then? I'm still... pretty new around here."

Her face lights up. "Wan'me show ya 'round, bump? I know lotsa places -- like Blocky Circle, Itchy Stairs, Weirdo Heads, Up 'n Down Wiggle House, Hidey Slidey Hole, Ghost Stare Town... oh, and Big Melty Tower!"
No. 981865 ID: 8fab7a

Hm. Pop Pop may be a part of this place's coherence process or a product of it that went... um, poorly, or exceedingly well depending. Either way, she's given us a bunch of choices as to what to go look at now. Question is... which appeals the most?

My vote is she show us the Hidey Slidey Hole, on account of a hole that slides you into hiding actually sounds useful if we end up chased by some sorta monster again.
No. 981866 ID: 2aa5f0

Hidey... Slidey... Hole?
yeah let's just start off with that. Oh and if the kid happens to be slower then you (do to them being smaller) offer them a ride on your back. I mean they'd probably enjoy the experience and it would let you run like hell and not ditch the kid should something scary come at you again.
No. 981872 ID: 92e667

You will definitely need to visit all of those if you want your sanity to leave you :B
No. 981873 ID: a7094b

Weirdo heads. If they are sentient, they can give us info
No. 981880 ID: b1b4f3

Hidey slidey hole sounds lewd. Let's go there.
No. 981895 ID: ce39da

Let's see the Weirdo Heads; maybe they'll have something slightly more informed to say about our situation.
No. 981947 ID: cfc80f

Hidey Slidey Hole sounds like a bar to me for some reason, and I don't think I have a problem with that. ONWARD TO BOOZE!
No. 982028 ID: 886589

Point at the trash bin you discovered earlier is a portal to somewhere else and ask her if through there leads to any of the places she listed. If she hasn't been through there before, suggest she take a peek through. Say you're sorta interested in seeing more of wherever that is, but you're really too big to fit through the opening. However, maybe she knows of another way there you could fit through, or that she could find for you.
No. 982049 ID: 6deb56

I'm curious about the blocky circle, sounds harmless too. Let's see that.
No. 982086 ID: f2320a

Yeah lets see what she knows
No. 982803 ID: 15a025

Ooooh. Big Melty Tower sounds fun.
No. 988885 ID: 3994a2
File 161405765589.png - (286.73KB , 800x800 , nv1-016-1.png )

The names she gives don't really give me much to go by, but... I don't really know what I'm looking for either, so I guess anything works. As long as there aren't any more monsters.

"Um, how about... Hidey Slidey Hole?" It sounds... safe enough.

"Okok! Just gotta find it!" She begins wandering about the room, looking underneath and behind furniture. I decide not to question it.

"So uh, before we go, what about the trash can over there?" I point to the can that led to that weird temple earlier.

"Trash can?" She stops, eyeing the can from afar. She wanders over and takes a peek inside, then recoils sharply, apparently caught by surprise. "... Don't wanna go there no more, nuh-uh." She pauses, and makes a weird expression when she looks my way. "'Um, cuz it's boring! Really really boring, bump!"
No. 988888 ID: 094652

"Poppy, where does that hole go."
No. 988890 ID: b1b4f3

Uh, what's wrong?
No. 988892 ID: e51896

"Dont want to go there no more because it is boring... wait a minute, did you just imply you play inside trash cans?"
No. 988895 ID: 284599

Let me guess: place used to be cool, but something happened to make it suck, right?
No. 988901 ID: 4854ef

You aren't good at being deceitful, but I know you don't wanna go there so we won't.
No. 988910 ID: 9a2966

Uh-huh. So what's she call that place? Trash Town? Terrible No Good Boring Place?

Anyway, don't pressure her if she ain't willing to talk about it. Ask her if the Slidey Hidey Hole - and paths to other places - moves around a lot?
No. 988937 ID: a59168

Something tells me it's not really boredom that's making her dislike that place. Ask her why, what's in that place?

And then help her look for the hole. In whatever dark corner the entrance to that place may be hiding.
No. 988942 ID: eb1fcc

a thought occurs, this might not be a kid

She's been, presumably, living here her whole life, yes? She wouldn't exactly have access to education or anything

we should probably ask how old she is before we start treating her like a child
No. 988974 ID: 3994a2
File 161413950646.png - (446.45KB , 800x800 , nv1-017-1.png )

"It's not really because it's boring, is it?" That's about as gentle as I can manage while basically accusing her of lying. "What do you dislike so much about that place?"

"...Bad stuff happen there, bump." Her tone takes on a gravity that clashes with her... immature demeanor. "Really really bad."

"...Like what?"

"Nuh-uh, don't wanna talk 'bout it." Her expression darkens, and even though I can't see her eyes, it's like I can feel them piercing me. "Never ever ever go t' Funky Town. Or else..."
No. 988975 ID: 3994a2
File 161413953203.png - (504.97KB , 800x800 , nv1-017-2.png )

She looks away, pulling her lips tight in a pained expression. "Or else I ain't Klaatu friend no more, bump."
No. 988976 ID: e7c7d3

But rockin' on to Electric Avenue is okay?
No. 988977 ID: c876e0

No. 988979 ID: b1b4f3

>bad things
Hmm, I wonder if all these locations are... parts of your multiverse-memories? Funky Town must be where all your bad deeds or motivations coalesce.

Well, if she can't find Hidey Slidey Hole we can try Up 'n Down Wiggle House.
Hmm, show her the weird hole in the cube, ask if she knows what it is.
No. 988997 ID: 12b116

we'd much rather be friends with her than go to Funky Town. Let's be honest here.
No. 988999 ID: 8a51ec

"Funky Town" sounds like massive compensation for a decisively un-funky town anyway.
No. 989005 ID: 7dddd0

well, we're new here, so advice taken. Also, we kinda chose at random, so whichever place we find other than Funky Town should be good, just let us know what it's called, and warn us if there's anything we need to watch out for
No. 989014 ID: 9a2966

>Can't be friends, bump
Now there's a dread proclamation. Well... it'd suck to lose this strange new relationship already, so whether she's an inmate or a manifestation of this place, why not heed her on this? It'd sure be nice if there actually was a voice of wisdom on how to navigate around and avoiding whatever Bad Things could be going on in here as part of the condensing process. Not sure Pop Pop is that voice, but hell, why not stay a while and listen? Not like we've got many better things to do.

Let's search for the Hidey Slidey Hole already, Pop Pop!

>multiversal musings
I've just had a thought on something we might wanna bring up with our attorney, Kierkegaard.

If a person actually has multiple so-called 'existentially strong' alternalities (imma call them that now) capable of understanding all this space-time bull - and it was implied being able to in one universe means there's odds you can be so in another - would they in some way duke it out as part of the condensing process?

What if there were enough 'strong' alternalities that were *better*? Both at the space-time comprehension bull and in the strictly mess-with-the-multiverse moral sense. Wouldn't those alternalities in some ways subsume or override the guilty party, so to speak? Kierkegaard said the strong will eventually float to the top in here, but it seems hella weird if it takes just one bad egg to forever ruin someone.

Personality-wise, that is. Means some of the inmates here, even if they're guilty of serious stuff, might not be bad people in their condensed form. I get why the judge-jury still'd want to permanently remove them from the loop to prevent said bad egg from creating massive multiversal stinks...

But what happens to people who are VERY predisposed towards good - or at least not making a mess - overall, but still has the nature vs nurture of one of their alternalities go so badly wrong as to seek to seriously mess with causality? Even in the case of outright guilt, can one defense be "a crappy existence made me do it" and "now that we've condensed, I wouldn't do this again, because I'd know it'd be wrong"?

Eh, might be thinking way ahead here.

And thinking about Pop Pop's circumstances. If she's an inmate, not knowing who she is, or having any memories of the whole judgement process, shouldn't seem like it's possible. Not unless she's still condensing or something... maybe the seriously strong can compartmentalize themselves in here for a time and that's what's up here? But why bother? Perhaps they're afraid of facing up to the truth of what 'they' have done.

Orrrr she's just pretending and playing with us to pass the time. And hey, that's not necessarily too bad either. Roleplaying is a known fun-having activity.
No. 989028 ID: a59168

You should act all excited and hug her, telling her that you love being her friend.
No. 989042 ID: ce39da

"Well, I guess I'm not going to Funky Town, then. If you're having trouble finding the Hidey Slidey Hole, I'm fine with anywhere else you can find; I mostly chose at random."

I get the feeling we're going to end up in Funky Town at some point.

A troubling thought; our lawyer said we're supposed to be forever alone in this space. That implies inmates are never supposed to meet. I also get the impression that person-like manifestations aren't supposed to be possible.

That means either another inmate is tearing down cell walls (figuratively speaking), or our theoretical bad-egg self is trying to pull some reality-warping nonsense to turn this cell into something more.
No. 989046 ID: 9a2966

Don't think Kirk ever said people weren't supposed to meet others. If we're worried, we can always just call our Attorney and ask. He's a calling card to the forehead away, apparently.

...oh! Another thought. Show Pop Pop the Cube we made.
No. 990087 ID: 15a025

Okay, advice taken. So how about that Hidey Slidey Hole?
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