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File 135547111533.jpg - (51.71KB , 783x643 , #1 Tital.jpg )
478624 No. 478624 ID: f50094

Chapter two

It is the next morning. We find Ring waking from a fantastically uninteresting dream about jogging to discover that she has the slightest hint of a hangover. What thoroughly wholesome journeys will you guide her along today?
564 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
No. 647367 ID: bd8b82

don't slime your clothes
No. 647388 ID: a599c3

Well we have two ways of doing this, either we go in swords a' swingin' or we try the diplomatic approach, considering these guys are bandits it might be better for us to gear up and then sneak attack their encampment with our snouter fellow.
No. 647394 ID: c2fb88

Well with how things have been going be prepared to find out the trolls have a complicated society and have invented a steam engine with the stolen goods.

Also you really should have let her talk. Who knows what we could have found out from her before you interrupted and derailed the conversation. It might have just been nothing but you never know.

So go pick up Geoffry and tell him that we are going to check on the trolls.
No. 647403 ID: 2a7417

Is there a shop in town that sells something we could defend ourselves with?
No. 647404 ID: e114bc

Do you need to get a weapon of some sort for this? Are you trained in combat with anything?
No. 647426 ID: ad7bba

Well that sure was a wasted opportunity. We -still- don't know what happened between him and those women, and there was our golden opportunity to ask. To ask before talking about him. Because that was the order that made sense.

Why are you so negative about it though? You seemed pretty enthusiastic about doing all of those trolls, earlier.
No. 647443 ID: b3dd38

I wonder if it would have helped to have Woody back up our story back there...
No. 647586 ID: 91ee5f

Before you go fight those trolling trolls who sing "trololo" all day long, you need to go buy some armor and a weapon. Listen, I know you don't want to wear anything that isn't your grass skirt, but you need to wear something that will protect you from the trolls' sharp pointy weapons. And if you try to argue and say, "I don't need any of that, I have Geoffrey to protect me!" then I'm just going to stop that train of thought right there before it leaves the station. Sure having a giant snouter as an ally will help, but he can't do everything! You need to be able to help out, so that means you're going to march your tail over to the store and you are going to buy armor and a weapon.
No. 647771 ID: 4164ae

Well lets get some supplies and then go tell Geoff the news. And don't forget Jerry this time.
No. 657521 ID: 75c920
File 143757908085.jpg - (251.06KB , 2590x1721 , #102 Unproductive Swordplay.jpg )

Diplomacy? What, are we gunna ask them to leave? They're trolls! Geoffrey can threaten them if that's what you mean, but at that point I don't think that counts as diplomacy. As far as fighting goes, Geoffrey is going to be the one doing it, I can't fight trolls.

Yeah, trolls are dumb as bricks, that's not going to be a problem... Plus I think we already have steam engines-Hey, wait why are you talking like it's my fault, you're the ones telling me what to do!

Okay, that's very reasonable, but I can't fight trolls. They're at least twice my height, very strong and as tough as they are stupid. Stabbing one is basically like ramming a sword into a tree, sure it sticks in a little bit, but now you can't pull it back out and the tree wants to punch you. You haven't actually accomplished much more then annoying foliage. If a one of them goes for me; I need to be agile enough to dodge it and run away. If one grabs me, I'll throw pepper in it's eyes and run away faster. Preferably until I'm behind Geoffrey. They don't use weapons, so armour’s just going to make it harder to sneak around. In this case avoiding the fight is the most important part.

No, I'm uh, not trained in anything. But that's fine, swords would be pretty useless anyway. What I need are distractions; I should make pepper bombs or something. I can close my second eyelids, and try not to breathe. Man I sure hope I don't get any up my nose again.

It's just sweat, I-I'll be right as rain. I can handle the tolls. M-Miss Butterloft unnerved me is all. She's, um, pretty intimidating.

Hmm... depends on whether Miss Butterloft, is freaked out by magic or not. Oh, remind me never to pull out Woody in front of Luella. I don't think she could handle him.

Jerry? Oh right, Jerry. I sure hope he isn't dead.
No. 657532 ID: 2a7417

What the heck, go ahead and panic. You're deliberately setting out unarmed against a bunch of monsters.
No. 657543 ID: e114bc

Trolls are that tough? Jeez, what would the plan be if we didn't have Geoffrey? Also... are you sure he's even strong enough to take on more than one of them? Well, maybe we can use the environment against them somehow. Like collapse their shelter on them.

I don't suppose we could buy some kind of poison that would work against them?
No. 657548 ID: bd8b82

are trolls bad with fire?
No. 657564 ID: ab7529

>I should make pepper bombs or something. I can close my second eyelids, and try not to breathe. Man I sure hope I don't get any up my nose again.
If you got goggles or some kind of protective eyewear, and a mask / filter to cover your mouth and nose, you wouldn't have to worry about blasting yourself.
No. 657691 ID: 91ee5f

Who says you need to learn to fight? All you need are the basics to fighting trolls!

Rule #1: Pointy end of sword goes in the other guy.

Rule #2: Aim for eyes to blind them.

Rule #3: In case of male troll, aim for male parts. >.<

Rule #4: If all else fails, sing the song of their people. It will confuse them and confused trolls are easy to run away from! The song of their people is called "The Trololo Song".

And that's all you need to know to fight trolls!
No. 665286 ID: 8111b6

I certainly hope trolls don't have any questionable habits. ... Say, are there stories about trolls doing... things? Or are they usually only about making people stew or something? After all, we need to know if such a thing is something we will have to "cautiously avoid" or if not getting squished is the more important thing to fret over.
No. 665565 ID: ec5b46

Before this progresses, do you really think Geoffrey is going to be able to take on ALL the ogres himself? He became sentient a few days ago and has never been in a real fight, and snouters don't strike me as predators. You might be throwing him a beating or worse while accomplishing nothing.
No. 665712 ID: 75c920
File 144092251244.jpg - (185.23KB , 1622x1677 , #103 Habitual Sass.jpg )

Oh no it's a Rock Golem, wait guys don't worry I've got a pointed stick! We'll totally be safe now-OK sorry lets, lets turn down the sass a little maybe.

While trolls are tough they're also known to be slovenly and bullies. Show them a real challenge and they'll skimpier off like cowards. Geoffrey's crazy huge and they'd much rather push people around than be part of a real fight.
Although, now you mention it, it's probably not a good idea to let them all fight Geoffrey at once. Intimidating them separately will be our best and safest bet I think. And yeah if we can drop a bridge on them like Whileswick Pete that'd be pretty great.
As for other options: Well, we technically we could find some troll bane. It's weed that so lethal to trolls that the smell alone makes them meek as mincers, but if there were any around here someone would have just done it already. Troll bane's common knowledge and the stench makes it easy to find. Plus trolls obviously take a great deal of effort to find places extremely far away from any kind of source of the one thing that can easily beat them.

Questionable habits? Well, their-Oh uh... yeah I suppose trolls are probably pretty likely to do... things to folk they capture. They definitely do make people stew though so um, yeah. Maybe if they've eaten recently...

No, not really. They're slightly more immune than most if anything.

Right, yeah I've got a bandanna in my bag. I can use that to cover my mouth and nose easy. I don't know where I'd be able to get a pair of goggles, but then again I'm pretty sure I don't need them. I've done this trick before and it's always my nose that gets peppered, if that's covered I'll be fine.
No. 665716 ID: e114bc

I suspect if you allow yourself to be captured it won't work out to your benefit in the way you're hoping. It'd be unwholesome, you know. However, maybe you can try something like that anyway? Maybe you can help split them up by occupying the attention of one or two of them, while Geoffrey finds one alone and gives them what for.

Like maybe you can attract their attention after a meal and have them chase you, so Geoffrey can pick them off one by one.
No. 665721 ID: ad936f

I don't think that any plan with the "unfortunate side effect" of the trolls doing things to you is really feasible. Any plan that could put you in that sort of situation also puts you in a situation where they can eat you. There's too many of them and they're too big and murderhappy. The as advertised situation with Geoffrey was the ideal, and we should keep our eyes out for that, but even wandering around in a dark alleyway provides a better scenario than anything we could feasibly cook up with the trolls. We should strike after they've finished a meal, that gives us some time to be rescued should we be captured. We can use divide and conquer tactics with Geoffrey either scaring them apart or intimidating them in small groups. We should definitely use pepper bombs. Then we rob the trolls, clear up the crap with Geoffrey, skip town, and finally "accidentally" run into some PERFECTLY WHOLESOME misfortune.
No. 665738 ID: 0fc976

So, is that a plan? Buy what you need for pepper bombs and let's set out!
No. 665957 ID: a107fd

What if you show up at the troll lair with a wagonload of day-old bread and unfit-for-human-consumption meat, tainted with poison? They'd eat all that first, then have plenty of time to... dance... with you before the poison kicks in. Geoffrey can stand by as a backup plan.

The poison doesn't have to be anything fancy. You could, for example, marinate the bait in wood alcohol: it's cheap and easy to synthesize in large quantities, it's a preservative so the semi-garbage food is less obviously rotten, it'll get them drunk, and then they go blind after liver enzymes metabolize it into formaldehyde.
No. 667178 ID: 91ee5f

Well, if you can't think of anything, why don't you ask Woody what he thinks you should do? He might have some good advice! And I think it would be nice if you let him out of your bag every now and then.
No. 683243 ID: 76a75f

Did we ever get a pair of underwear?
No. 686418 ID: 62532e


I would recommend asking Woody for further information about the trolls.
No. 989851 ID: 04d001
File 161482496389.png - (189.75KB , 1169x751 , CON-QUEST FLASHES BEFORE YOUR EYES.png )

No. 989852 ID: 04d001
File 161482504332.png - (225.28KB , 1169x751 , 01-She Shook.png )

Um. I just had a weird flash like I was remembering something?
Ah, where were we? Sorry, I got distracted for a second there.

Trolls and Geoffrey, yeah. OK.
No. 989853 ID: 04d001
File 161482519315.png - (222.99KB , 1169x751 , 02-Back baybee.png )

Y-yeah distracting one or two while Geoffrey stomps the third sound very smart and reasonable. It’s possible all three could take him after all. Need to occupy at least one of the others.

You don’t ‘plan’ for unfortunate side effects. You can just be aware they’ll happen maybe. And like, know about them. Which is better than not knowing about them, obviously.
But striking when Trolls aren't hungry is a good idea. Should I bring some food then? If I get captured and have a lot of bread or something in my pack they’ll eat that. I mean not getting eaten or at least stalling for time is good. Waiting for them to eat dinner sounds real dangerous and I don’t want to have to try and keep Geoffry hidden for long...

Yes, tricking the Trolls out of their burrow or hideout or whatever and getting Geoffrey to beat them up one at a time is good. Unless I can organise a rockslide I don’t see another way of beating up Trolls myself.
I’ll buy the pepper bomb ingredients before I go.

Trolls can eat just about anything, including rotten meat and sludge and stuff. They’re more or less immune to poison and other stuff. Plus I don’t know where I’d get a wagon and a giant pile of food and poison either.

Sure I guess, but Trolls aren't magical creatures so he won’t have anything super important to add. I’ll ask him when we’re walking to meet Georffy since I don’t want to pull him out in town.

This is not an important question. We also did not require a pair for any particular reason.

OK, I'm going shopping now. You guys got any notes before I do? Anything I've forgotten or things to do before setting out? I feel like we've covered everything, but Troll fighting is tough business so just checking.
No. 989854 ID: 0fae41

I'm sure Jerry's fine.
No. 989857 ID: b1b4f3

Maybe we can bring some gems so that they get distracted by them, or even fight over them.
No. 989860 ID: 164e20

>We also did not require a pair for any particular reason.
Remember that time you flashed a bunch of miners? I'm sure they remember it.
No. 989862 ID: 3ed3c3

Try not to buy more than you need.
No. 989879 ID: 470289

Can you compromise and just bring a bit of bread as a distraction? It'll buy you less time but you'll have more room for other stuff and that bit of time could end up critical.
No. 989913 ID: 19da02

You need to buy the biggest, hardest, stalest loaf of bread you can possibly acquire.
No. 989930 ID: 864e49

I can't believe this is back I'm so happy!
Get a small bag and fill it with sand.
No. 990419 ID: 04d001
File 161527777013.png - (216.37KB , 1169x751 , 03-Tail Example.png )

Yeah obviously. Unless he’s incredibly unlucky.

I'm not buying Gems! Not if those gross Trolls might touch them! Plus they're probably the most expensive thing I can buy. Singularly I mean. Gems are pricey.

Suspected flash. My tail was down. I have a large tail.
No. 990420 ID: 04d001
File 161527793297.png - (242.77KB , 1169x751 , 04-Bittabread.png )

OK I went shopping.

I’ve got some pepper and those little toy fireworks that pop when you throw them. I rolled out the paper bit and added limedust and pepper. Now it’ll pop out pepper dust in a small cloud. The limedust makes the bang bigger and also adds to the potency. Lime and pepper are both things that really suck when you get hit in the face with them.
They’re in a little metal case so they won’t pop accidentally. We’ve got five.

And a bag of pebbles because they didn't have sand. The man said he could walk down to the small beach up on the north island and get some for me, but that would take all day. The only other sand is in the leather sacks he uses for weighing things on scales. So I got some pebbles. And. Put them in this little bag.
No. 990421 ID: 04d001
File 161527795013.png - (228.98KB , 1169x751 , 05-BreadQuestion.png )

I got some... I got some stale bread.
No. 990422 ID: 04d001
File 161527798492.png - (248.11KB , 1169x751 , 06-CrustQuery.png )

Why did you make me buy this?

What’s this for?
No. 990423 ID: 04d001
File 161527802703.png - (239.99KB , 1169x751 , 07-StalenessTest.png )

If I’m distracting the trolls with it shouldn’t it be appetizing?
Doesn't this make me look more edible?
Wha - is it a weapon? Like a stealth weapon?
I don’t understand.
No. 990424 ID: 04d001
File 161527807539.png - (228.98KB , 1169x751 , Stale Bread.png )

No. 990425 ID: 04d001
File 161527835844.png - (362.33KB , 1169x751 , 08-ArtImprovement.png )

>Woody tell me about Trolls.

>Oh rather large unsightly creatures Mistress. They come in a few varieties, the Trollus Malignis - Trollus Geldia - Trollus Magna Petra - that last one was Stone Trolls, which aren't Mountain Trolls, common misconception, Mistress. Although the only Trolls you’d be likely to find around here would be the common Bog Troll so you - probably want me to... Ahem.

>The Bog Troll is very large, approx two and a half meters tall at resting height. They have a very high-quality resilience to most things. Though fairly slow, they have an impressive strength and can sprint short distances. Well beyond your ability to fight Mistress.
>Due to their plant-like nature and eating requirements they tend to be extremely slothful. They, like all Trolls, flee from Trolls Bane. Which is why they obviously never set up anywhere near it.
>They have a base level sentience that marks them a sub-race, but to quote Bongo’s guide to Troll behaviour “I hate them even more now I’ve taken the time to study them. This book was a waste of time, I hate this. We all know what Trolls are like. Gods dammit what a F------ waste. S---” I uh, censored that extract for you, Mistress, if you wondered what the silences were.

>They aren't magical in any way that’s applicable or abusable by you Mistress. Oh and they DEFINITELY do not turn to stone during the day. They half bury themselves in the ground and become incredibly still. It is a baiting tactic. Whoever published that paper should be kicked senseless if you want my opinion Mistress.

>Thank you, Woody
Didn’t learn anything usable. That’s fine though, Woody's a magic focused kinda guy. Maybe that’s why he knew about the turn-to-stone thing. I imagine he’d want to know about Trolls doing magical things.

I’ll call Georffy once I’m in the forest a bit. Bad idea to call for him at the treeline. Don’t want everyone to be spooked.
No. 990428 ID: 2facbc

Makes sense, can we forage for some troll bane while we're on our way?
No. 990429 ID: b1b4f3

I... don't really know what trolls are like.
Do trolls eat people? Or do they just beat them up and rob them? Are they particularly lustful? What will they do if we just kindof blunder into their lair?

...hmm. Well, regardless, we need to scout out the lair to see where exactly they've buried themselves. Then we can make a plan, and tell Geoffrey about it.
No. 990432 ID: b1b4f3

She said there's no way we can find any because if we could someone would've done it already.
Part of me wants to ask "what if the villagers thought the same thing" but no, if there's anyone in town at all that goes out into the forest, they'd know if there was troll's bane. It's stinky!
No. 990446 ID: 12b116

That bread is gonna come in handy. Trust me. 🍞
No. 992393 ID: 04d001
File 161632123025.png - (332.57KB , 1169x751 , 09-Trollsplaining.png )

You’ve given me terrible ideas before. Like eating slime to see if I got stretchy. Remember when you said Jomens had a crush on me and you were wrong? I remember.

There’s a herbalist lady who has a magic bee-pet-thing. She’d know about Troll bane, it’s in her guidebook. She or one of the foragers or hunters would have found some ages ago if there were any. It’s famously easy to find because of the stench.
No. 992394 ID: 04d001
File 161632130976.png - (353.04KB , 1169x751 , 10-Mouse obtainment.png )

Uhhh... maybe I should ask Geoffrey if he’s smelt any super smelly plants. He lives here, odds are he should know more than anyone else about the forest.

They steal things they like and beat up anyone who tries to stop them. Y’know like, you’re acting like a troll or something. They eat people if they’re hungry I think. They definitely kill people but mostly just to steal their stuff? They’re a sub-race so they’re either base desires or some specific objective. Hopefully, they’re more lustful, because that’s much better than them eating me, obviously.

Found the mouse where I left it. We named it ...Jerry? Did we settle on Jerry? My bag’s empty so I can take him along this time.
No. 992395 ID: 04d001
File 161632137887.png - (301.75KB , 1169x751 , 11-Snout Shout.png )

I’ll call Geoffrey now.

No. 992396 ID: 04d001
File 161632140103.png - (293.58KB , 1169x751 , 12-Snout Shout wait.png )

No. 992397 ID: 04d001
File 161632143926.png - (299.27KB , 1169x751 , 13-Snout Shout Big Snout.png )

No. 992399 ID: 04d001
File 161632160842.png - (318.55KB , 1169x751 , 14-Snout Shout Snouter.png )


>Yep, we’re off to get rid of some trolls.


>I’ll show you, I know abouts where they are. But you’ll have to be a bit quieter on the way there, ok?

No. 992427 ID: 164e20

How will this guy help us to defeat trolls again?
No. 992431 ID: b1b4f3

Who's Jomens?

Ask him if he's smelled anything stinky in the forest.

He big. Smash troll.
No. 992452 ID: 0fae41

Finally, a non-shitty lyluk. Try to pick a path with trees that will fall quietly.
No. 992622 ID: 19da02

go over the plan, such as it is, with Geoffrey and ask if he has any input. From what I understand the plan is for you to distract at least one of them in some way while Geoffrey stomps at least one of them in mush, and after that just kinda wing it.
No. 994735 ID: 04d001
File 161750667453.png - (474.22KB , 1169x751 , 15-Princess Moment.png )

Geoffrey sort of bows to let me up on his back. He doesn't want to tread on me and it'll be much faster if he leads. It’s kind of amazing being up this high. This must be like in those books where they ride on elephants!

So the plan is basically for me to distract the Trolls while Geoffrey waits hidden nearby. I’ll try to lead them out one at a time and he’ll pounce on them and beat them up. Or maybe he’ll literally just pounce on them, that’d be pretty hard to recover from on its own, considering.

I go over this and he’s enthusiastic. We’ll try and stick to this overall plan as much as possible but something’s bound to come up.

>Hey Geoffrey, you haven't smelt any patches of really horrible smelling plants around the forest, have you? Like really horrible smelling.
No luck on secret undiscovered Troll Bane. Still worth checking though.

Jomens was the boy you thought had a crush on me in Literacy class. He just wanted to be friends with the dragon girl and you made it awkward because you always try and get me to date people. Or think people want to date me. Or just want everyone to date.
You remember trying to get my brother to date that guy?
Or my other brother to date that girl?
Or when you tried to convince me that dating my brother would be fine because we're all adopted? Becuase I remember.
Always weird the way you just forget chunks of stuff when you die down for a bit.

Ah! It’s so cool being up here. Look at all the birds! Anyway, we're getting near the north bit where the Trolls have been ambushing people. What are the first steps we should take once we're there? I'm asking early because we're going to have to be pretty sneaky from here on out to keep them from noticing Geoffrey.
No. 994750 ID: b1b4f3

Hmm, dragon girl? Is that your best guess for what species you are? You told us you didn't know. Aren't there some qualities of dragons you're missing? You know, wings, massive claws, armored scales, fire breath, urge to hoard valuable items? Well, you do have an affinity for gems so maybe that last one's covered.

To properly plan we need to see what their hideout looks like.
I wonder if we could set up some tripwires or snares, then lead them into it? Or pit traps? That could be enough to split up the group if you can't lure just one away.
No. 994761 ID: 0fae41

Geoffrey, take to the trees. Ring, you're going to have to tiptoe around.
No. 994775 ID: f8fa51

>Or just want everyone to date.

Yeah, that sounds like something we'd do. Sorry about that.
No. 994781 ID: 12b116

First priority is going to be finding a spot where we can hide Geoffrey for appropriate ambushing tactics.

We also need to know if they're all sitting around in a clump jerking off or if they're spread out to see how reasonable it will be to lure them off one at a time.

Don't forget, you still have that bread, which is certain to come in handy.
No. 1000404 ID: 04d001
File 162115224709.png - (271.80KB , 1169x751 , 16- Observable Area.png )

Yeah and I also told you my parents let me say I was a dragon girl. Because ‘unspecified lizard-ish female’ doesn't get you as many friends. Everyone wants to at least talk to dragon girl.

Tripwires and stuff sound useful if I can find a way to make them. Don’t know how strong a rope needs to be to trip a troll but it’s probably a lot. Anything that could slow one sounds good, then Geoffrey can jump on them easy.

You’re either super logical or weirdly horny. I used to think you represented the animal-instinct and rational-evolved parts of my brain like in... uh... the unconscious thought lady. The lady who wrote the book about thinking. Oh, you won’t remember her name either. Anyway, sometimes you mix up the comments and I’m not sure you’re classifiable like that anymore. Pro relationship is applicable though.

Ok we ought to be real close to the area by now. I’ve got Geoffrey to wait in the thicker trees back here while I go scout out ahead. If the Trolls catch wind of him they’ll either gang up to chase him off or hide from him.

Oh yeah. Bread. Sure.
No. 1000449 ID: 0fae41

Stick! Acquire stick.
No. 1000472 ID: 12b116

I see a suspiciously forked stick that you should acquire.
No. 1000708 ID: 96c896

Kindof looks like a dowsing rod.
Keep an eye open for them trolls. What do they look like when buried? Is it obvious or do they have some sort of camouflage?
No. 1005402 ID: 04d001
File 162608741322.png - (302.11KB , 1169x751 , 17- Bump Mapping.png )

I have picked up the stick. This is important to you and I respect that.

Ok, so I went and scouted out the perimeter of the area. I didn’t see much of note yet other than a wrecked cart or caravan - I didn’t jump in to get a better look yet -, but when I came back around to check on Geoffry, this little hill thing wasn’t where I left it. I don’t want to call it early, but this might be what Woody was talking about.

Is this a buried Troll? It doesn't smell any worse than the rest of the forest around here, but looking again that hump-hill is kinda weird right? I think the idea of secret disguised ambush Trolls is actually making me kinda, slightly... paranoid.
No. 1005406 ID: 53560f

And this is why it’s extremely important to carry a little useless junk around.
Throw stick at the mound and hide somewhere different from where you threw it. Be ready to book it straight to Geoffrey in case you get found.
If necessary then you can throw Jerry at it to distract it from trying to eat you.
No. 1005426 ID: 96c896

Yeah that's gotta be a troll. Hmm, did the wreck look like it might be useful as shelter? Like, was it big enough that a troll wouldn't be able to push it over? Or, could you hide inside it maybe? Let's consider it as a direction to reatreat to.

I don't see any other mounds though. Before we begin, you should try to find all three. Let's look around near the wrecked cart/caravan first.
No. 1005482 ID: 0fae41

Spring the trap and lead that troll back to Geoff.
No. 1006814 ID: 164e20

Why would a troll just be in a lump in the woods? It's probably nothing
No. 1011895 ID: faa7df
File 163289065098.png - (315.47KB , 1169x751 , 18- Important Stick impact.png )


No. 1011896 ID: faa7df
File 163289068015.png - (323.23KB , 1169x751 , 19- Trolled!.png )

Hoh! That’s something, probably a Troll, at least! Uh, wait, was I hiding or throwing Jerry at it or running or running to Geffory?

No. 1011904 ID: 96c896

Stick with the plan! Run to Geoffrey!
No. 1011911 ID: c92a02

Toss the rat too for good measure.
No. 1011990 ID: 86963a

Throw the rat over its head, so it lands away from you and makes a distraction.
No. 1012184 ID: faa7df
File 163315296282.png - (378.42KB , 1169x751 , 20- Foe Acceleration.png )

OK GO to Geoffrey!

No. 1012185 ID: faa7df
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No. 1012186 ID: faa7df
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>Ough aye theres ladie.. Whys Youse gone an tossed a stick at me edd then? Say, what is you then? A Fish ladie? Ora’ Lizard?

Ah! Ok, uh. Geoffrey sh-should be here soon, uh... Guy?
No. 1012187 ID: a2493c

"hey I just saw a mud pile and was goofing around, no need for the power display"

that right there is an imminent sexual assault pose if I ever done seen one.
No. 1012188 ID: 96c896

1, you were dared to do it by your friends.
2, you don't know what you are, you're adopted.
No. 1012193 ID: f57349

"Throwing sticks at each other is how my people flirt. Running away afterward and being chased is also part of it, like squirrels do. Congratulations, you caught me, so now I have to give you some bread, and then we, um..."

If he accepts the stale bread, hit him with one of those pepper bombs while he's distracted trying to eat it.
No. 1012209 ID: c92a02

Yes. I was being a responsible camper and returning my extra firewood to a proper trash receptacle.
No. 1012211 ID: 56d49d

Try to delay him with your charms. Doing so could never backfire, right?

Apologize to him and tell him that you were practicing a mating ritual, which requires throwing sticks and his mud pile just looked really alluring for some reason, maybe because he's so handsome himself, but you really shouldn't be saying this because someone like him should definitely already have a wife and you wouldn't want to impose... , etc.
As far as your species go, tell him that, uhh, you're a distant relative of trolls, as he can see, you both walk on two legs, wow, he has such wide shoulders~
No. 1012502 ID: faa7df
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Hey that’s better than a killing-and-eating pose, right?

>Wuh, actually I’m probably more of a lizard than a fish, b-but I don’t kno-

>Shame that. Fish is good eating. Might have ta find another use for youse then.

Oh no! I’d better come up with another use for me other than eating! Purely out of rational self-preservation!

>S-sorry about the tossing- I was, I thought you were some mud and-

>An youse just ‘add a suspiciously forked stick, wot is similar in style to a dowsin’ rod ta hand fuh tossin? I thinks youse were out looking for Trolls to bother like all the other little folk.

But I don't want him to beat me to death.

>Muh-my friends actually
>There’s mora you is there? Not hiding in moar bushes like youse were are they? Not tryin’ to run for em ta get help were youse?

>No I, it’s just me and I was flirting with a ritual, to see if your wife was a squirrel- so I ran and now my bread is stale, if, if-

>You wot lady? Nah that’s not making sense. Gotta calm down youse is just saying words. What this about wife’in and flirting then? That’s not something a Troll hears often, is it?

Gosh well, I’d better keep him on this track since it’s not about eating me!
No. 1012516 ID: 96c896

"Please don't eat me mister troll I'll do anything you want" is that about right?
No. 1012518 ID: 86aaf2

So, your continued existence relies on you keeping this entity pleased with things that you can only effectively offer while both alive and unmaimed.

In that case, how about:

"I think you're cute."
No. 1012523 ID: e0aaa8

Tell him that you want to marry him and that you'd make a good wife. Also, compliment his long tongue.
No. 1012528 ID: 96c896

Guys, I don't think openly consenting is really Ring's thing.
No. 1012529 ID: 9a2966

Ask them why wouldn't a troll be hearing about wives and flirting? Surely there's them what fancy strong lanky arms, long snoots and tongues and whatnot.

Say you're sorry, but you've never actually met a troll before. You'd no idea they were so, uh. Muscular.

Does he work out?
No. 1012558 ID: 4992b6

Deep breaths Rim. Introduce yourself, maybe ask him his name. He seems open to dialog, so see if you can talk your way out of this.
No. 1012651 ID: c92a02

Yeah, it isn't, and you're just eating it up aren't you? Doesn't it make you hungry for companionship? When's the last time you had a morsel like this to hand, hm? Don't eat me, by the way. Please think about stuff that is not eating.
No. 1012664 ID: 86aaf2


Gawd, you two are horrible, you know that? Maybe even PRETEND to try to get Ring out of this alive, yea?
No. 1012974 ID: faa7df
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>Haven’t heard often? W-why not? I-I’d have thought at least a tall, muscular p-Troll such as yourself would have heard some flirting in your time. Maybe a Niddle lady complimenting your powerful snout? - I mean I hadn’t met a Troll until just now with you so, I certainly had no idea you’d be so, uh, Muscular. Unless you, w-work out a lot, I guess.

>Youse a pretty tounged thing ain’t you Bluey? All whiles and complimentings like youse want me all relaxed. S’pose I am a biggun though. Since youse asked my muscle comes more natural like. Wot else is good looking about me then?

It’s working, he’s not thinking about eating me at all! This was of course the outcome we wanted! I am also not complimenting his tongue. That’s an eating part of the mouth.

But I don’t want to bring up eating, not getting eaten is the prime directive here.


>I think you’-ve got an, appealing face. For one.

>Youse thinkin’ I looks like a lizard do I?

>Nono, more like a Niddle, but Rostro also have big beaks so it’s more like you’re folk. Or folk adjacent.

>Adjacent now? Ain't never been told I was Adjacent before. Sounds nice like I feel. Adjacent.

Uhh, I think I’ve successfully made him more interested in talking than anything else for now. He seems to like compliments! I‘m guessing Trolls don’t get nice things said about them much and I think me being a new species gave him pause.

I can’t just say I want to marry him! He’d take me back to the Troll den and keep me there. I need to stall in some other way.

Yeah, he’s talking. I need to try and calm down more before I talk but he just chased and caught me and now he’s towering over me and I did not expect him to be this huge.
>Well maybe we should introduce ourselves Mr Troll. If we’re going to keep having this nice polite conversation. I’m RimRing, and uh, what’s your name if I may ask?

>Rimring is it? Sounds like me mam. Name’s Threese. Now youse can answers my last question all polite like, as we is talking polite now.
No. 1012976 ID: 53560f

>Wot else is good looking about me then?
Tell him he has a cute tail. Maybe you could touch it?
No. 1012978 ID: 96c896

Ask if he likes anything about you.
No. 1012984 ID: f57349

Tell Threese that you actually do have a friend back there who you were in fact going to get - and make sure to praise his cleverness in figuring that out - but only the one friend, who's certainly not hiding in any bushes. This particular friend has actually been far more interested in polite conversation, and less willing to assault strangers, than you are, for as long as you've known them.

All technically true, but mostly quite misleading.
No. 1013000 ID: c92a02

Wait, are you implying I look like a lizard? Because that's what you think I'd like, if I was? Maybe I'm complimenting your troll-like looks, because I like how trolls look. Food for thought.
No. 1013028 ID: 96c896

Oh, maybe you can ask what the other trolls are like?
No. 1013476 ID: 0d3c13

Tell him that you like what you see of him, but you've never seen a troll up close before, and you'd need to get a closer look at him so that you can find even more to compliment. That'll give you plenty of time to stall, to look around the room a little, and to learn more about troll anatomy so you know any weak points or other advantages you might have.
No. 1013485 ID: ca0259

Look, seeing as he's amenable to talking and you still have backup... somewhere nearby, why not just try to calm down and be honest: the local village thinks he's been attacking them when it really just seems like they wander onto his little patch of forest and he scares them off.

I dunno, tout the value of co-existence. Companionship is a wonderful thing. Tell him how there'd be plenty for a big strong troll like himself to do if he was friendly with the townsfolk.
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