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File 164881495417.jpg - (281.64KB , 1608x968 , BB 829.jpg )
1027885 No. 1027885 ID: 8b82ee

You are a watermelon that just fell out of the buying shelf of the supermarket on the floor of the store and a worker is just going toward you to pick you up and return you to your previous position. You do not want to go back, use all the abilities that watermelon has if it used 100% of its brain to escape your capture.

125 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
No. 1032000 ID: 8b82ee
File 165236903895.jpg - (186.05KB , 556x816 , water 69.jpg )

The Watermelon asked: "Who is observing me? What am I going to fight if I decide to leave?" The Overlord Manager answers: "The being that lives in the place between the commercials, any place that doesn't have more than one commercial is visited by this creature and eats the kids of the residents. No one is willing to go against it because on one survived an encounter with it and if you leave you are as good as dead. it already is living in your shadows the wary moment you leave this holy place it will strike you."
No. 1034390 ID: e51896

Alright, so we gotta fight the manager then.

challenger her to thumb wrestling!
No. 1034931 ID: 8b82ee
File 165520572649.jpg - (360.63KB , 886x1030 , water 70.jpg )

Watermelon vampire decided to challenge the Overlord manager to the thumb wrestling contest. The Mutated Pinata thumb wrestling started yelling, a thumb wrestling challenge, are you serious! You will be fighting against her in a more intense context! You will fight against her will with your own will and the one that is the stronger will survive.
No. 1034932 ID: 8b82ee
File 165520581772.jpg - (139.15KB , 348x628 , water 71.jpg )

Then the Overlord Manager responded, thank you for that explanation but you two will not be needed for this combat. I can single-handedly take these two on by myself. I grinded out my level so high that any convection can't even hurt me.
No. 1034933 ID: 8b82ee
File 165520589548.jpg - (278.05KB , 449x746 , water 72.jpg )

As for you two, you clearly have no idea who you just challenged to a battle. You thought by avoiding the creature that lives between commercials, that you avoided a hard fight.! How absurd, I have fired so many people that I became immune to voodoo dolls, I have no fear because I have ascended into a more powerful. Gaze upon me and fear, the goddess of discounts is awakening and your lives are on a one-day special offer sale!
No. 1034934 ID: 8b82ee
File 165520592680.jpg - (280.45KB , 1036x528 , water 73.jpg )

But before I send you to the shadow realm discard bin, would you be willing to fill out the survey. How would you describe your time while being a sentient being in our store?
No. 1034952 ID: 26a54e

3/10, didn't even get to have sex.
No. 1035061 ID: e51896

No. 1035063 ID: 629f2e

2/10, the management was abhorrent!
No. 1035069 ID: 508c24

Written by security guard
Written by watermelon
No. 1035070 ID: 12ffa9
File 165533465907.jpg - (105.39KB , 341x590 , water 74.jpg )

The Watermelon Vampire filled up both surveys. For herself she answers 2/10, the management was abhorrent as for the guard she put 3/10, didn't even get to have sex.
No. 1035071 ID: 12ffa9
File 165533495273.jpg - (136.58KB , 601x312 , water 75.jpg )

The Overlord Manager started talking, well since having sex with other at this store is forbitten the best that I can do is offer you is this juice squeezer and this produce is on a discount what a steal. As for me being an abhorrent, don't worry I will be reborn after the charismas party at this point I will ascend to the the higher plain of existence. I will finally be able to buy my own house and at that point a new manager will be assigned to this place.
No. 1035072 ID: 12ffa9
File 165533517105.jpg - (88.88KB , 360x359 , water 76.jpg )

The Watermelon Vampire answered, that squeezer is truly pitiful, don't you have something bigger or even an electric version!
No. 1035073 ID: 12ffa9
File 165533531566.jpg - (65.25KB , 363x421 , water 77.jpg )

No. 1035074 ID: 12ffa9
File 165533536248.jpg - (93.18KB , 341x465 , water 78.jpg )

So are you hard to please, well let me ask you when you filled out the survey for your allay were you the one who truly were disappointed for not having sex?
No. 1035106 ID: e51896

yeh, because this super market is at a STRIP MALL! what kind of Strip mall has one of their supermarkets offer no sex???
No. 1035211 ID: 602558
File 165546015028.jpg - (80.38KB , 235x402 , water 79.jpg )

The Vampire Watermelon calmly and with a sense of disappointment answers, yeah, because this super market is at a STRIP MALL! what kind of Strip mall has one of their supermarkets offer no sex???
No. 1035212 ID: 602558
File 165546042944.jpg - (53.09KB , 200x231 , water 80.jpg )

And then the Overlord Manager answers, you know what I had enough of your jokers and that stupid cheap haircut.
No. 1035213 ID: 602558
File 165546056472.jpg - (57.15KB , 207x235 , water 81.jpg )

Fortunately for me I managed to convert the value of my money to the power of my ego and not I am finally ready for the battle.
No. 1035214 ID: 602558
File 165546101340.jpg - (174.60KB , 544x524 , water 82.jpg )

Behold my glorious body, in it I am 10 time more powerful and I even have 4 boobs now. No one has bested me while I am like this and no one will ever. Prepper for an economical crash that is coming down your way.
No. 1035215 ID: 602558
File 165546117257.jpg - (232.78KB , 770x711 , water 83.jpg )

Do you know why people like discounts, is because they are devaluing the value of the spending. That makes them have more money to spend it on other things.
No. 1035216 ID: 602558
File 165546126798.jpg - (259.93KB , 770x711 , water 84.jpg )

It is a never-ending cycle that keep on going over and over. You are part of it and there is not going out of it. Why even fight it, it is bigger then you, it is bigger them me it is even bigger then the black Friday sale.
No. 1035217 ID: 602558
File 165546151266.jpg - (88.03KB , 313x341 , water 85.jpg )

Why aren't you saying anything?
No. 1035218 ID: 602558
File 165546167649.jpg - (45.20KB , 297x583 , water 86.jpg )

The Vampire Watermelon calmly said to the guard, give me your phone.
No. 1035219 ID: 602558
File 165546180191.jpg - (55.27KB , 297x352 , water 87.jpg )

And he answered, there is no one who you can call, the union paladins have been swallowed the war hogs of war. There is nothing that we can do to stop our demise no matter who we call.
No. 1035222 ID: ff05ed

What about Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monthy Python's and the Holy Grial's Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan?
No. 1035227 ID: e51896

Call the Better Business Bureau
No. 1035228 ID: 26a54e

This looks like a job for the ELITE BEAT AGENTS!
No. 1035229 ID: 910354

Call the managers mother

If that fails, call the managers manager
No. 1035403 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562020580.jpg - (76.77KB , 285x363 , water 88.jpg )

The Watermelon Vampire said, do you have the number of Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monthy Python's and the Holy Grial's Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, Hulk Hogan, managers mother or even managers manager. I am simply throwing ideas that are coming to my head.
No. 1035404 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562031897.jpg - (48.88KB , 268x302 , water 89.jpg )

The guard responded, no I don't have the number of any of those people, I only have one number and it is of my mother. And what is up wit all those names? Are you feeling alright?
No. 1035405 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562045716.jpg - (143.94KB , 393x478 , water 90.jpg )

Their opponent was leafing and mockingly said BANANAS!
No. 1035407 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562097770.jpg - (99.13KB , 413x363 , water 91.jpg )

The Watermelon Vampire said, to be honest I was at first I thought of calling for a pizza and waiting 30 updates until it arrives. But with the help of a hallucinations of guys in suits dancing in front of me gave me a good idea.
No. 1035408 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562126629.jpg - (101.82KB , 378x419 , water 92.jpg )

Also the Better Business Bureau mentioned one way how I can defeat her. with those two inspiration I can combine it into a devastating defense that she won't be able to destroy.
No. 1035409 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562153308.jpg - (110.23KB , 421x505 , water 93.jpg )

Their opponent had enough of BANANAS and now is ready to strike her crush.
No. 1035410 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562167360.jpg - (79.98KB , 297x420 , water 94.jpg )

But the attack didn't land because the Watermelon Vampire was holding the store review page open with one star rating. She didn't conform it but her middle finger is just above the button and the message was clear.
No. 1035411 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562184601.jpg - (94.73KB , 381x350 , water 95.jpg )

The Goddess of Discounts said in an afraid voice, no wait there is no need to act hasty. Just put down the phone and we can pretend like nothing happened.
No. 1035412 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562197389.jpg - (119.15KB , 342x476 , water 96.jpg )

The Watermelon Vampire said in a seductive voice, what's the matter I thought you liked the whole notion of devaluing things?
No. 1035413 ID: 92d5b2
File 165562211321.jpg - (156.92KB , 402x535 , water 97.jpg )

The Goddess of Discounts angrily answered, there is a difference between devaluing and defaming them. Also there is no way that you would actually press that button! That is the only thing that is stopping me from eating your ass!
No. 1035433 ID: 6a2a09

accidentally press the button and then moon her
No. 1035591 ID: bfdf4f
File 165581774019.jpg - (80.98KB , 297x392 , water 98.jpg )

The Watermelon Vampire accidentally pressed the button and when I say accidentally I am referring to on purpose because her finger slipped.
No. 1035592 ID: bfdf4f
File 165581782060.jpg - (85.00KB , 502x407 , water 99.jpg )

That released a beam of energy powered by negative emotions.
No. 1035594 ID: bfdf4f
File 165581792448.jpg - (185.92KB , 631x545 , water 100.jpg )

And that hit your opponent directly in the head.
No. 1035595 ID: bfdf4f
File 165581827913.jpg - (137.06KB , 505x445 , water 101.jpg )

After that Watermelon Vampire spanked her ass and said come and get some! Sorry for not going with the whole mooning her, but this is a wholesome Christian quest and there will not be any profanity in it.
No. 1035596 ID: bfdf4f
File 165581848378.jpg - (146.50KB , 386x499 , water 102.jpg )

But even with that attack the opponent simply laughing and says in a mocking tone, that was it that was your one silver bullet that you had and now you are without it.
No. 1035597 ID: bfdf4f
File 165581855527.jpg - (247.71KB , 847x662 , water 103.jpg )

While my 5 star rating is still standing tall. HA HA HA! I am going to enjoy the milkshake that I will make out of your body!
No. 1035615 ID: 26a54e

This store appears to sell everything BUT milk, how would she make a milkshake out of your body without the one thing necessary to make a milkshake? Unless that was an innuendo.
No. 1035617 ID: 629f2e

Quick! Buy some white-out and erase four of those stars!
No. 1035619 ID: 07c344

Point out this story has gotten really convoluted and so no longer has mass appeal, meaning that her star ranking will lower.
No. 1035684 ID: e51896

No. 1035715 ID: 91deaa
File 165593613648.jpg - (104.72KB , 310x453 , water 104.jpg )

The Watermelon Vampire has a lot of questions going through her head. Some of them were, did this shop sell milk, how much does a white-out cost and has this story really gotten convoluted and has no longer its mass appeal....
No. 1035716 ID: 91deaa
File 165593621596.jpg - (43.43KB , 303x262 , water 105.jpg )

Wait, wait, wait...Time out time out, stop the narration. This quest had a mass appeal in the first place? And it has lost its appeal which it had in the first place? Is this because I covered up my melons?
No. 1035719 ID: 91deaa
File 165593629205.jpg - (125.82KB , 409x418 , water 106.jpg )

Hey guard guy, did this joke quest when on for too long? Has it lost what made it funny?
No. 1035720 ID: 91deaa
File 165593637637.jpg - (56.95KB , 287x369 , water 107.jpg )

I have no idea what is even happening nor how much eyes am I even supposed to have.
No. 1035721 ID: 91deaa
File 165593667032.jpg - (106.43KB , 307x490 , water 109.jpg )

Ok there is no need to get white-out to delete those stars, simply exploit the shit out of creating new accounts duplication glitch.
No. 1035722 ID: 91deaa
File 165593725611.jpg - (253.86KB , 593x697 , water 110.jpg )

In in matter of 1 minutes Watermelon Vampire executed the speedrunners skip and created over 70 of alternative accounts and with them she managed to destroy the 5 star rating of her opponent. This battle is over, you got no experience but you win. Sometimes you can win or you can grow and sometimes you can't do booth.
No. 1035730 ID: 91deaa
File 165593739674.jpg - (104.66KB , 353x492 , water 111.jpg )

With the Goddess of Discounts defeated, the mutant piƱata retuned into his domesticated state and will return to his lovely family.
No. 1035731 ID: 91deaa
File 165593750328.jpg - (33.30KB , 347x256 , water 112.jpg )

While the ghost was arrested for not posseting an license to levitate things.
No. 1035734 ID: 91deaa
File 165593762770.jpg - (80.95KB , 307x398 , water 113.jpg )

Well we won and that is it, nothing is even stopping us for just leaving and starting our own cult.
No. 1035735 ID: 91deaa
File 165593771051.jpg - (174.01KB , 536x586 , water 114.jpg )

Wait just one moment, you did beat me and humiliated, so I am obliged to offer you one wish. Unfortunately the only limitation of my wish is that it has to be something that can be bought by money.
No. 1035736 ID: 629f2e

No. 1035798 ID: e51896


>While you were transforming into your vampire form you heard whispers from the Lemon Satan. If you truly want to gain the power of the forbidden fruit you will need to establish a pact with the devil. Some may see you as a heretic for doing this, others will hate you uncontrollably but most importantly doing this act you will bring great shame to your honor. In order for the contract to be fulfilled, you need to buy 10 NFTs from Satan and then sell 5 of them to your friends, if you don't have friends complete strangers can work as well.

>Unfortunately the only limitation of my wish is that it has to be something that can be bought by money.

Ask her to buy you those useless cursed 10 NFTs from Lemon Satan, and then we'll be on our way.

Afterwards at some point, we'll sell 5 to our friends or strangers.


Actually, nah. We love Lemon Satan, but we've got principles. Maybe another time.

So either

1. a submarine so that when we leave the store, we can pilot the submarine to get out of the moon base once we leave the store (we are in an underwater base on the moon for some reason, remember?)


2. A cantaloupe. You could use a boyfren
No. 1035873 ID: 527ed9
File 165611570859.jpg - (189.19KB , 799x627 , water 115.jpg )

What I want is power and when I say power I am referring to money. Give me your lunch money nerd!
No. 1035874 ID: 527ed9
File 165611582126.jpg - (153.68KB , 439x513 , water 116.jpg )

Yeah sure no problem, how much do you need. I have lot of it. Do you need anything else, like a haircut, plastic surgery or a plastic haircut surgery?
No. 1035876 ID: 527ed9
File 165611612923.jpg - (111.92KB , 298x547 , water 117.jpg )

Well I don't know just how much those stupid NFTs are but you will have to buy them all from Lemon Satan. Also a transportation to leave this place could be a good thing. Oh and one last thing I will need one cantaloupe.
No. 1035877 ID: 527ed9
File 165611630474.jpg - (174.66KB , 456x585 , water 118.jpg )

Yeah I can give you all of those things, you can have my rocket submarine. But there is just one thing that I will need from you before I grant you all those wishes. Can you turn all the negative reviews into positive ones?
No. 1035878 ID: 527ed9
File 165611642535.jpg - (119.15KB , 335x470 , water 119.jpg )

I man I could but that seems like a lot of work to do with my one finger...
No. 1035879 ID: 527ed9
File 165611669834.jpg - (119.91KB , 335x470 , water 120.jpg )

Inner monologue. Interesting she is willing to give me more thing in order for my reviews to change. maybe I could use that to milk more things from her.
No. 1035910 ID: e51896

Now that I think about it, does our security guard friend want anything? I don't think we need anything else personally, but our security guard friend might want something.

First, bring the negative one star reviews to... TWO star reviews (she didn't explain HOW positive she wanted it, lol, loophole) then give the security guard the phone, and tell the manager you'll leave it up to him to raise those two stars reviews to more stars, so she better make him happy and give him whatever he wants.

it's his birthday after all!
No. 1036030 ID: 527ed9
File 165628870728.jpg - (137.66KB , 525x506 , water 121.jpg )

Alright just to show that I will keep my end of the agreement I will restore the reputation of this store to two stars. Also I completely forgot, guard do you want anything, especially during this specials day. After all we can negotiate. I will give you the phone, so you will be the one making demands.
No. 1036031 ID: 527ed9
File 165628878191.jpg - (94.10KB , 488x391 , water 122.jpg )

Thank you, as for what demand I would like to get a raise for this job.
No. 1036033 ID: 527ed9
File 165628912041.jpg - (98.49KB , 347x487 , water 123.jpg )

Wait, you will be working here especially after everything that we did in this store?
No. 1036034 ID: 527ed9
File 165628917667.jpg - (93.17KB , 498x379 , water 124.jpg )

Yeah I will only going to help you during our world domination only on weekends.
No. 1036035 ID: 527ed9
File 165628927711.jpg - (269.32KB , 911x600 , water 125.jpg )

So if the raise is what you want the raise is what you will get. Just out store accountant give you the proper paper work for it.
No. 1036036 ID: 527ed9
File 165628934507.jpg - (270.15KB , 914x600 , water 126.jpg )

So Bob can you give our guard what he is asking for?
No. 1036037 ID: 527ed9
File 165628957288.jpg - (72.22KB , 327x415 , water 127.jpg )

Bob quickly filled out the request and offered it to the Guard. Bos did start to talk but all the sounds that Bob make are similar to the sounds of farting.
No. 1036038 ID: 527ed9
File 165628962422.jpg - (108.98KB , 402x489 , water 128.jpg )

Yep that is it everything seems to be in order, I just need to sine this document.
No. 1036039 ID: 527ed9
File 165628969254.jpg - (107.92KB , 426x487 , water 129.jpg )

Well from my side I got what I wanted, so should we be leaving?
No. 1036040 ID: 527ed9
File 165628974806.jpg - (164.21KB , 548x551 , water 130.jpg )

Of course and here are our parting gift, the last things what you aske from me. As for you guard I expect you here first thing in the morning next day.
No. 1036042 ID: 527ed9
File 165628986377.jpg - (202.97KB , 793x596 , water 131.jpg )

And with that negotiation finished out two terrorist jumped into the submarine rocket and left this location.
No. 1036043 ID: 527ed9
File 165628997518.jpg - (177.76KB , 664x480 , water 132.jpg )

Well with everything considered I could cell our first mission a success!
No. 1036044 ID: 527ed9
File 165629004682.jpg - (74.87KB , 431x318 , water 133.jpg )

Yeah it was, but you still didn't restore the five star rating to the store. Are we going to do that or are we going to betray her?
No. 1036046 ID: 527ed9
File 165629027050.jpg - (153.84KB , 507x457 , water 134.jpg )

I was thinking about that and she also didn't fulfilled her end of the agreement when it comes to the NFT's. So not doing what we promised is an allowed option to take. But I don't know if I am going to even see her again in the rest of my life, so maybe not doing what we promised doesn't even matter.
No. 1036082 ID: e51896

Well, the only thing left to do is bite the cantaloupe to turn it into a vampire like us so we can have a boyfriend, and then we can do a victory pose for a job well done!
No. 1036238 ID: 7c0da2

Restore the rating, but leave one last taunting review that will forever prevent her from attaining the perfect rating.
She will be able to come so very close to perfection, but never achieve it.
No. 1036345 ID: 527ed9
File 165642185014.jpg - (84.75KB , 323x475 , water 135.jpg )

Now that I am thinking about our defeated enemy, I believe it would be for the best if we keep our words. She will probably buy those stupid NFTs. So restore the 5 star ratings but only leave the first bad review that I made.
No. 1036346 ID: 527ed9
File 165642195930.jpg - (71.68KB , 357x276 , water 136.jpg )

Hmm ok I see that is the review that says "Didn't even get to have sex." The star have been restored the Overlord Manager will remember this.
No. 1036347 ID: 527ed9
File 165642201299.jpg - (112.10KB , 455x471 , water 137.jpg )

Hey now, it isn't like you didn't have the same thoughts on your mind. Anyways this was our first victory but it wasn't the fight against our real enemy the IRS.
No. 1036348 ID: 527ed9
File 165642209282.jpg - (118.32KB , 435x399 , water 138.jpg )

The point where we won't be target by them is the moment when we win in our battle.
No. 1036349 ID: 527ed9
File 165642216086.jpg - (71.52KB , 367x276 , water 139.jpg )

Oh boy does that opponent even have any weaknesses?
No. 1036351 ID: 527ed9
File 165642223103.jpg - (130.40KB , 499x435 , water 140.jpg )

Oh but of course there is a weakness and that is what we should be focusing on and the name of that weakness is TAX EXEMPTIONS. And religious establishment are exempt for it. That is what we are going to go after.
No. 1036352 ID: 527ed9
File 165642234319.jpg - (45.52KB , 267x339 , water 141.jpg )

We are small and you can only help me during your offlays, but we will grow. The fruits of our labor will be juicy.
No. 1036353 ID: 527ed9
File 165642243712.jpg - (174.88KB , 495x439 , water 142.jpg )

Then the Watermelon Vampire put the fruit into her mouth and then...
No. 1036354 ID: 527ed9
File 165642248616.jpg - (96.07KB , 561x229 , water 143.jpg )

Took a bite out of it.
No. 1036355 ID: 527ed9
File 165642255292.jpg - (121.11KB , 399x447 , water 144.jpg )

Ouch, I lost my tooth. I shouldn't listen to the voices in my head.
No. 1036356 ID: 527ed9
File 165642274044.jpg - (73.35KB , 337x339 , water 145.jpg )

Well that was the end of this first chapter and this cantaloupe will be the protagonist of the second part of the story. And no this character will not be a vampire, obviously it will be a werewolf. Thank you for reading this story, I don-t know when I will continue.
No. 1036357 ID: 6a2a09

>> cantelope
Turn into femboy
No. 1036390 ID: e5709d

This has been one of the weirdest, most nonsensical parodies of Veggietales I've ever seen in my life.

Needs to be a genderfluid mushroom-cantaloupe hybrid
that squirts mold
No. 1036520 ID: 527ed9
File 165654121532.jpg - (75.92KB , 364x355 , water 146.jpg )

Alright werewolf, femboy, genderfluid mushroom-cantaloupe hybrid that squirts mold. Just writing down all that will be added to the next protagonist.
No. 1036521 ID: 527ed9
File 165654136064.jpg - (98.22KB , 397x508 , water 147.jpg )

It is a pleasure that you enjoyed the story and the main goal from my perspective of this quest is to be a nonsensical joke. Especially sine the other quests had a more serious tone. As for the protagonist of the next part will be designed by Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid.
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