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File 164523241526.png - (938.53KB , 1200x800 , THEVILLAINSWIN.png )
1023844 No. 1023844 ID: cdbf4f

THESE ARE THE RULES FOR WINNING:
NO UNIFORMS, MATCHING OUTFITS, NUMBERS, OR UNIFYING THEMES
NO LEADER, NO BOSS, NO HIERARCHY
NO FACING HEROES ONE-ON-ONE
NO DELAYING THE HERO KILLSHOT
NO TRAGIC ROMANCE
ABSOLUTELY NO EVIL MONOLOGUES

this quest is NSFW/18+ only and will contain heavy violence/gore/body horror.
250 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 1026028 ID: 07995d

i wanna hire lysander so badly. hes free and he has 7 in attack and 5 in defense! considering the cost thats really good. i also like lotte but shes too expensive atm, and after we get the bar (maybe next round) we should get kuetera they seem fun.
>>
No. 1026036 ID: 941516

Lysander looks like a good free option with no apparent drawbacks whatsoever! I say take him in.
>>
No. 1026045 ID: 9cc179

On the subject of Lysander (Cutty McCutCut?), what are the consequences of these guys dying? After reading his bio, the 2 health is as good a selling point as the 7 attack.

This guy really would need to die on the next mission we send him on, and should not be in a room alone with Fio under any circumstances.

Shoot the bullet and discard the casing, or don't pick it up at all
>>
No. 1026047 ID: 0c6392

Lysander might be good if we need more raw combat power, but hiring him seems...... fraught. relationship-wise. (no hierarchy no tragic romance) Hold off.

Noroi seems awesome but obviously we can't get her for a while yet. Keep a pin in her
>Does anyone want to go down and see if Dyana's staff counts as a magical artifact, and if Grand had anything interesting?

the other dude might be fun who knows


However: I love Lotte?
their stats are terrible and their powers might or might not be really good
we should probably save the money

But I love them?

>can we hire Lotte? I would like to hire Lotte.
>>
No. 1026049 ID: faff69

Lysander: No. Absolutely not. Yeah, it'll be free but the cost of having a cringe worthy obsessive ex (?) will make that a bad idea. Also, no tragic romance or hierarchy. Also I'm not doing that to FIO.

Kuetara: Seems nice, but meh. I don't know, I'm just not feeling it. Might get along with DEARLY though.

Lotte: I like necromancy. For right now, honestly I would dump the cash for them because necromancy is cool. And then we could have animated hero corpses as intimidation :D!!!

Noroi: I want them so bad, but I don't think we have the magical artifacts. We should get some. Is TIOS a magical artifact?? But also we shouldn't give them TIOS . No hierarchy. WE SHOULD WORK TO GET THE MAGICAL ARTIFACTS TO GET THEM BECAUSE I JUST LOVE THEIR ENERGY.
>>
No. 1026050 ID: faff69

>>1026015

That was my first thought but honestly they seem to be going for a romance with Fio, and they were talking about "we make the rules" and that seems like a slippery slope to breaking the "no leader, no boss, no hierarchy" thing

what im saying is that we should get a restraining order against them for Fios sake, I think hes bad news . he found the phone number they changed??? and got powers to get fio to take them back?? that is a recipe for disaster. too obsessive.
>>
No. 1026051 ID: faff69

>>1026019

omg thats so smart. team bonding, yknow.

set up an interview, kill him, and then theres no loose ends, since he might try more drastic attempts to get fios attention if we just ignore him
>>
No. 1026054 ID: 4f08f3

Can we send a trojan virus to Lysander that at least destroys their computer?

Kuetara is a no for now.

Lotte is a yes, would love to gain a necromancer after just defeating one.

Noroi is of course a yes... Once we get some magical artefacts.
>>
No. 1026056 ID: d9d712

Maybe save up a bit before hiring Lotte, but I love them and want them. Same with Noroi we want to start grabbing magic items right away i want to recruit this treasure-obsessed catperson
>>
No. 1026057 ID: a0127c

yo, if we can get Noroi she sounds cool.
plus technically a 2-for-1 because mysterious bodyguard?
>>
No. 1026058 ID: 12eb7b

I like Noroi but I think we don't have so many magical artifacts. Also I am very curious about Lysander. Do Fio have a past with they? Maybe Fio could tell something about Lysander (or if he want him in the team)
>>
No. 1026065 ID: acfe78

recruit lysander

worst case scenario lamb gets some free food
>>
No. 1026066 ID: 96c896

>>1025999
I like both of those last two. Necomancy pays off more the sooner we get it, so Lotte is a priority imo.

The first two sound like giant pains in the ass, the first one for obvious reasons and the second one probably because he's either got a chemlab or his power causes a huge stink.
>>
No. 1026073 ID: 0c6392

Anyway. Ask Fio what to do about Lysander, see how he wants to deal, hiring Lys and then feeding to the vampires or assassinating or getting a restraining order.

I wonder if that mess has anything to do with Fio's powers.
>>
No. 1026075 ID: 15a025

Lotte sounds like an interesting addition, they could possibly help grow our numbers quickly with the numbers of heroes we kill. Details are very vague though, perhaps an interview is possible?
>>
No. 1026105 ID: a70a13

LISTEN. Lysander is an absolute fucking whiny loser but also they have some kick ass attack power, great defense, and we don't need to pay them.

I'm sure we can let Dearly just make fun of their desperation here and there and they can just be the house butt monkey until they get a new goyfriend.

But also Kuetara kinda thick, so either of those would be CHOICE.
>>
No. 1026106 ID: fcd3dd
File 164720514616.png - (677.43KB , 1200x800 , 39.png )
1026106

“Listen,” says Binzy, “whatever the situation is, I’m not touching this guy without asking Fio first.” She leans back in her chair again, craning her neck to shout out into the main room. “Hey, Fio? Fio! Get in here for a second!”

Fio strolls in a moment later, pizza in hand. “Yeah, what’s up? Need me for somethin’?”

“We’re looking at recruits, and somebody popped up talking about you.” Binzy double-clicks the listing, rolling her chair to the side a bit to let Fio look. “You know this creep?”

“Wait, lemme see. Can you zoom in on the pic a little?” Fio crams the rest of the slice into his mouth and leans in, one hand braced against Binzy’s desk. “Oh, holy shit. Ahahaha! Yeah, that’s Lysander alright. Jesus Christ, I can’t tell you if he looks better or worse than last time I saw him. Could go either way!”
>>
No. 1026107 ID: fcd3dd
File 164720515924.png - (387.64KB , 1200x800 , 40.png )
1026107

“Okay, so, what do you wanna do? Want me to track him and torch his computer or something?” Binzy offers. “Or, we’ve got time — I could set up a meeting and then you could grab somebody, one of the vamps or something, and go take care of him yourself.”

“Oh, no, no, it’s nothing like that.” Fio waves a hand breezily, snorting out a laugh. “He’s not, like, a threat or whatever. Well, maybe, if he’s telling the truth about having powers now, but — even if he does.” They shrug. Binzy zooms out again, so they can reread the listing’s text, and that gets them laughing again. “He’s from the same shithole town as me. We grew up together. He was fine to have around, good at following directions. But he couldn’t keep up with me, so I left him behind.”

That gets an incredulous look from Binzy, eyebrows raising invisibly behind her bangs, because she can count on one hand the number of times Fio’s talked about his past. It’s over as soon as it began, though, with Fio repeating the loose, careless gesture of his hand. “Do whatever. I mean, I’m certainly not gonna issue a mandate. No leader, no boss, no hierarchy, right?”
>>
No. 1026108 ID: fcd3dd
File 164720517361.png - (240.49KB , 1200x800 , 41.png )
1026108

Binzy swivels in the chair a bit, resting her cheek on her fist. “It’s not about, like, you telling us what to do. I’m just saying as the one who organizes this stuff, I wouldn’t want us to go forward on this guy if it’s gonna be a problem for you.”

“Well, that’s sweet, Binzy-Bee, but I can take care of myself.” Fio reaches out, as if to pinch Binzy’s cheek, but Binzy flinches away immediately.

“Hey! Whoa! No touching!”

“Oops!” Fio pulls back, splaying his fingers in a “hands-off” gesture. “Sorry. Forgot for a second.”

Binzy is rolling her chair a little further away, grimacing. “No, you didn’t.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Fio laughs, giving it up with no resistance. “I was trying to see if I could figure out what you feel like doing about him.”

“Fucking hell. Don’t do that shit, Fio.” Binzy turns back to the computer, exiting out of Lysander’s listing entirely. “Listen, when I have a feel for what the group wants to do, I’ll run it by you one more time to make sure. Til then, I think we’re holding off — we like the look of these two, Noroi and Lotte, but we don’t have the resources right now.”

“Mmkay. Suit yourself.” Fio tilts their head, considering the screen a moment longer before turning on their heel to exit. “Good thing Lysander’s not even asking for any money, though. Fair warning, if we do take him onboard, and if Dog With A Gun’s in one of his moods when he gets here, he might just execute him on sight, and that would be such a waste of good funds.” They raise one hand in a wave as they slip out the doorway. “Oh well!”

RELATIONSHIP AFFECTED: [Fio’s PERSONAL OPINION of Binzy has improved from NEUTRAL to NEUTRAL+.]
>>
No. 1026109 ID: fcd3dd
File 164720518507.png - (97.82KB , 1200x800 , 42.png )
1026109

Binzy waits til Fio’s gone, then she allows herself a little shudder. “Ugh. I fucking hate her power, man,” she mutters under her breath. “Worst shit on earth. I’d take ten necromancers over half a Fio.”

She seems to shake it off, then she continues flipping through screens. “Alright, let’s catch up on some news. After that it’s up to you. There’s some personal shopping and all, but I don’t know if anybody needs new weapons or anything right now. Oh, and since the heroes down there are dead, TIOS could probably loot them really easy, but uh — you might wanna get somebody else to ask it, since TIOS and I aren’t exactly best buddies.”

”Anyway, let’s see… here we go. You can ask me about whatever you want, you know how I just get these all down in whatever way makes sense to me. Also, uh… some of these are just notes for myself, sorry.”
>>
No. 1026110 ID: 519e51

Fuck yes looting bodies!!!!!

Anyway yeah we should check and see if anyone needs anything.
>>
No. 1026111 ID: d7f5f1

so what im hearing is go for lysander!! fio doesnt mind, shes a tough gal and he doesnt seem like a threat just a bit of a simp. but thats fine, we can encourage him to be a supervillain in his own right so theres no heirarchy. hes free ! come on
>>
No. 1026112 ID: f5b5a5

Cleveland is probably the best pick to ask TIOS about looting, since it has to listen to them? Provided that Cleveland can be convinced to ask it
>>
No. 1026122 ID: 676f44

>>1026109
Whoa whoa. What's this about zero-leveling bots? Gonna need details on that.
>>
No. 1026123 ID: 12eb7b

How easy would be to subtely hack the townhall servers to make the web anouncements apear in the townhall but not out? That way there would be more heroes who don't learn about the iniciative.

Also, the "no hierarchy" also apply for minions? Can't have some minions for chores like buying an amazing deluxe edition album?
>>
No. 1026125 ID: 993203

loot the heroes (ask cleveland to ask tios) and then dog with a gun cooking time?
>>
No. 1026136 ID: 4f08f3

>>1026123
Minions are 1. A weakness and 2. Yes that's a hierarchy.

Anyway still not big on Lysander and still big on Lotte.

Agreed on asking Cleveland to ask TIOS and looking into the robot thing
>>
No. 1026147 ID: ce39da

>>1026112
Shouldn't be a hard sell... as long as they get a cut of the profits. But it's better than not at all, obviously.

>>1026111
I agree, but we should definitely clear it with Dog, make sure we're all on the same page when the guy first shows up. And if he doesn't like it, point out that executing new recruits as soon as they show up is horrible for our rep, even by villain standards, and is pretty unprofessional besides. If he seems to really not want him on the team, hold off for now. Does he have something personally against this guy (whether it's shared history or simply because he wants to be close to Fio) or do we have to worry about this whenever we recruit someone, period?

> THE RUMOR COME OUT
Does "zero-leveling" mean taking your drones on without a power? Sounds intense.

> NEWS
Hero-tourism season's upon us, huh? Looks like we should prioritize business over pleasure where we can.

> NEXT TP
Let's see Dog and Lamb hang out, now. They'll be an interesting pair to see together, that's for sure. They could bond over shared allergies in the kitchen, and also debate the nature of good and evil. They both have experience with struggling to be "good" (one with shitty circumstances, the other being fed up with arbitrary goal posts), and I'm curious to know what Dog thinks of Lamb's stance. Would Dog find respect for the Lamb who knowingly chose a single "selfish(?) arbiter" and stuck to it? One can suppose capital-G God ought to be less fickle than a mortal master in theory, at least.
>>
No. 1026151 ID: 96c896

Well if Fio says it's ok, might as well take the free hire.
Still want the necromancer, as an investment.
>>
No. 1026153 ID: 19774c

yeah i think if Fio is fine with lysander joining, why not take a free hire? that still leaves us funds to save up for lotte and/or noroi, especially if we loot some choice items from the two heroes downstairs

dwag and lamb cooking conversation!!
>>
No. 1026190 ID: acfe78

Think we need more information on what "zero-leveling" means, could be important. In the meantime, get Cleveland to ask TIOS to loot the bodies since it's probably the most straightforward way to convince him.

Defo think we should grab Lysander still, worst case he helps fulfill Lamb and Kel's prime directives and best case he dies heroi- er, villainously in combat and we get to keep his share of the profits which we can then use to recruit Lotte.

Kinda agree on Lamb/Dog since Lamb hates, and I quote "Everyone but Kel" but Dog is friendly with her and is probably tactful enough to not immediately bomb their relationship from the word go. Could be a decent in for her relationship with the group as a whole.
>>
No. 1026204 ID: b63001

Is there a way keep the bodies? Maybe they will be useful later, especially if we get the necromancer.
>>
No. 1026328 ID: fcd3dd
File 164737015610.png - (683.84KB , 1200x800 , 43.png )
1026328

“Hiring henchmen or minions or whatever? Man, I don’t want to get back into that right now. That’s been the cause of so many fucking all-night fights at the meeting table.”

“Back when Fio was working independently, she didn’t have henchmen or anything, she did everything with contractors, and it was working fine for her. So she’s all gung-ho on that front, and then as long as there’s a way to make sure they’re loyal, she’s always kind of wanted proper henchmen, too. Dog With A Gun went apeshit about the whole thing, said it was an insane liability, that people get brought down by incompetent henchmen all the time, that it’s just asking for trouble, and everyone on the team should be a serious, top-tier villain here on their own merits. But then Cleveland says hiring assistance is just like any other tool, the same as weapons or equipment or whatever — she’s still against it, since having full-time grunts is expensive, but she doesn’t get why it has to be a philosophical debate. Hours and hours of this shit, just screaming at each other, and you know how those three get when they really get into it with each other. Fio gets Dog With A Gun all riled up, and then he can piss Fio off like nobody else can, and then Cleveland just sitting there throwing gasoline on all of it — god! Whenever a meeting goes to shit it’s always them, I’m telling you.”

“Obviously we’re not getting anything out of Dearly, TIOS, or Lamb on it. None of them give a shit. Kel doesn’t get it, since she’s been a fucking — whatever she was. Medieval viking warlord or whatever. Having minions is second nature to her, and she does have them, she just hasn’t brought any onboard for this project. Me, I don’t see what the issue would be, especially if we stick with contractors. But I would say the jury is still firmly out on this one.”
>>
No. 1026329 ID: fcd3dd
File 164737017485.png - (364.51KB , 1200x800 , 44.png )
1026329

“Oh, and zero-leveling — I guess you’d only know it by that term if you were like, a hobbyist. Into droids, you know. But basically it’s talking about security levels,” Binzy explains. “Aside from the industry-typical ‘three laws’ styled safety stuff, there’s also the levels on, like — how much a droid can do on its own, basically. The standards are levels one through five. Level Five, a robot can’t take any action without a direct command — that’s, y’know, washing machines and other domestic bots, they don’t really count as droids. Level Fours can choose their actions, but only from a pre-approved list already in their code; a lot of labor bots and retail droids are on this level. If you ever stayed in a store for a while and started noticing a clerk bot repeating itself or running out of things to say, that’s why.”

She starts playing with a post-it note snatched off her desk as she continues, folding and unfolding it aimlessly. “Level Three is where there are baselines for behavioral expectations, and the bot will extrapolate from that information and can make any actions it likes within that framework, but it can’t truly improvise or make choices outside of its understanding of the world based on its existing code. And, of course, any action can be halted by any human, even a non-user and even if it’s within the coded parameters. That’s where most SBCs fall — that’s, uh, Soft-Body Companions. Like, the really popular commercial stuff, personal assistants and triple-X models and stuff like that. Then you’ve got Level Twos, who can act freely and are only hemmed in by the inability to harm or directly disobey a human — Claret Cybernetics’ whole gimmick is that their SBCs are Twos instead of Threes, so they’re more lifelike, but some people don’t like ‘em because they end up developing shitty personalities and stuff. And then Level Ones are the same, except the harm and defiance limitations are reduced to only apply to the registered user or whatever other authority is coded in — those ones get used as cops or military or personal security, that kind of shit, since humans can set them on each other. TIOS’ security is Level One, obviously.”

Binzy finally puts the paper down. “So zero-leveling — well, okay, there’s kind of a ‘how do you pronounce gif’ thing going on here, because it started online, and it was just written as like, the number 0, then capital L, ‘0L-ing’ — and nobody can agree if it was supposed to mean “zero laws,” instead of three laws, or “zero levels,” as in dropping a bot to a security level below Level One. But ‘zero-law-ing’ sounds fucking stupid, so… uh. Wait. What was I saying?” A beat, and then she snaps her fingers, recapturing her line of thought. “Right. Zero-leveling is when you get into a droid’s code and you take out all those security measures. You basically remove all the protocols that let users interfacing with the bot command or disable them. Uh, informally there’s an implication that you’re taking off all the aesthetic limiters, too — like, you know how triple-X bots have limits coded into the facial muscles so they can’t make ‘ugly’ faces or whatever, and a lot of retail droids can’t swear, shit like that. Super mega illegal, obviously, and also really difficult to do properly. A lot of this stuff is really enmeshed in the code, depending on the developer, so it can be hard to excise it without accidentally lobotomizing the thing. Plus, a lot of times a bot doesn’t have any code on what it would even do with all that free space once you take the limiters off, so a bot might not even act differently at all once it’s zero-leveled, because it doesn’t even have any behaviors ‘over the fence’ that it can think of.”

Binzy finally trails off, then laughs a little. “Oh, fuck, I was totally rambling. I’m just into stuff like this. Sorry for chewing your ear off — anyway, the point is it’s just a rumor, okay? And the kind that people like to spread, because you can make it all scary or whatever — Ooooh, all the sexbots and cashiers you’ve been mean to are gonna have their revenge!” A wave of her hand. “I thought it was worth noting, but it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s dozens of jailbroken bots crawling the streets or something. I’m just hearing whispers right now.”
>>
No. 1026330 ID: fcd3dd
File 164737019104.png - (406.40KB , 1200x800 , 45.png )
1026330

Speaking of robots.

Back in the main room, Cleveland is sitting on the floor by TIOS’ housing, reviewing the armory inventory she keeps synced to her phone. “Not like you,” she says, suddenly. “Putting a big lump of cash in the communal pool.”

[LAUGHTER. ARE YOU MAD I DIDN’T GIVE IT TO YOU.]

“Not mad.” She puts her phone away, bracing her weight on her arms as she leans back to look up at TIOS’ tall, glassy surface. “But we have to be responsible about shit like that. Once stuff is in the pool, it’s a fucking free for all. Before you know it, Fio and the clown are gonna spend it all on garbage like alligator moats and lava pits.” She scoffs, and when she finishes the cigarette that was in her mouth she stubs it out in a nearby plant and immediately begins rummaging for a fresh one. “Doesn’t hurt to just keep it, and dole it out to the group if we really need to.”

[IT’S ALL FAKE ANYWAY. IT’S ELECTRICITY. IT’S INFORMATION GETTING PING-PONGED AROUND BETWEEN PEOPLE’S PHONES,] TIOS points out.

“Yeah, and when it ping-pongs from mine to our dealers’ they send us boxes of ammo,” Cleveland fires back. She exhales, watching the smoke hang in the air for a moment before getting caught in the faint pull of TIOS’ intake vents, then flicks her gaze back up to it. “Loot?”

[CLARIFY.]

“Was there good loot?”

[DIDN’T CHECK. DOG WITH A GUN STORMED OFF AS SOON AS THE OBJECTIVES WERE COMPLETE, AND DEARLY WAS BUSY WITH THE PIZZA GUY.] TIOS does not mention that it was also busy with the pizza guy.

Cleveland lowers her voice a little. “Go get it.”
>>
No. 1026331 ID: fcd3dd
File 164737024640.png - (228.89KB , 1200x800 , 46.png )
1026331

Cleveland quietly considers the list TIOS has beamed over to their phone screen, rubbing at their mouth before speaking again. “Think we can sell the staff without anybody noticing?”

[NEGATIVE. BREAKS IS LOOKING AT RECRUITING AND WE NEED TO SAVE ARTIFACTS. THEY’LL NOTICE IF IT’S GONE.]

“Sucks. Alright, put the staff in the general inventory. Drop the clothes and phones in my room, I’ll sell them when I get a chance, and give me the cash.” It all happens, near instantaneously, as soon as they’ve spoken the commands. “Thanks, TIOS.”
>>
No. 1026332 ID: fcd3dd
File 164737026728.png - (489.99KB , 1200x800 , 47.png )
1026332

In the kitchen, Dog With A Gun is quietly making up for a deficit of dog-safe pizza.

He pauses, though, in the middle of rinsing a sieve full of rice. “Lamb,” he says. “I apologize for disturbing your time alone in here.”
>>
No. 1026333 ID: fcd3dd
File 164737028238.png - (525.28KB , 1200x800 , 48.png )
1026333

“But if you’re going to stay in here either way, you could… do something. Anything. Anything that’s not perching on the counter and glaring at me, at least.”
>>
No. 1026334 ID: fcd3dd
File 164737030021.png - (397.32KB , 1200x800 , 49.png )
1026334

She doesn’t respond, at first, and he sighs and reaches to shut the water off, flicking droplets off his fingers. “You could help,” he suggests. “Do you know how to peel vegetables?”

This time the response is immediate. “Of course I know how to peel vegetables.”

“Well, alright.” He turns, depositing a few sweet potatoes directly into her hands. “I didn’t know. Sometimes vampires have different ideas of what constitute day-to-day skills.” Dog With A Gun’s mouth doesn’t move when he speaks, but now his lips part a bit, tongue dangling between the teeth, in what could possibly be a faint smile. “I would be surprised if Kel knows how to do it.”

Lamb finally slips off the counter, coming over to a cutting board that Dog With A Gun sets out for her. “She doesn’t need to know.”

“Well, neither do you.” Lamb lapses into silence after that, and Dog With A Gun lets her. For a few moments there’s only the rasp of the peeler, and some faint beeps as he sets up the rice cooker. He does speak up again, though, once he’s thought of something to ask. “Do you miss food?”

“No. It was always a hassle.” Lamb’s voice is hoarse and accented. Sometimes when she pauses she presses her lips together, like she’s thinking intently about what she should say next; then it comes out in a hissing burst, as if to make up for the delay. “I don’t prefer blood.”
>>
No. 1026335 ID: fcd3dd
File 164737031570.png - (439.16KB , 1200x800 , 50.png )
1026335

“It’s not my intention to comment on blood,” Dog With A Gun replies evenly. He collects up the cubed sweet potato in a bowl and dresses it with olive oil, salt, pepper, measuring none of it, and begins briskly tossing it with confident movements of his arm. “You’re difficult to talk to. It’s hard not to default to seeking what we may have had in common when you were alive.”

“So don’t talk to me,” Lamb fires back. She’s still holding the chef’s knife and doesn’t seem to know what to do with it.

“Well, I don’t think that would be sustainable. Could you get a pan out from the thin compartment beneath the oven, please.” Dog With A Gun goes fishing in a drawer for aluminum foil, his tone unchanging. The request has jolted Lamb out of her paralysis with the knife, and now neither of them have to look at each other as the conversation continues. “It’s been a few months now. For better or worse, you seem to be an enduring member of the team. I don’t think there’s any harm in civility. Oven to two-twenty, please.”

The pan is lined with foil and then scattered with the potatoes, glistening with oil, and Dog With A Gun rinses his hands again before leaning back against the counter. His mouth falls open into a steady pant, tongue lolling out as he relaxes. “If you don’t like answering questions, you’re free to ask them of me instead. Or there don’t need to be any questions at all. You can tell me something you want to talk about, or you can listen to me talk. This doesn’t have to be torture.”
>>
No. 1026342 ID: 094652

Lamb: Talk about your current hurdle in training. Then experiment on the food.
Dog: Make sure Lamb doesn't add or synthesize dog poison. Groan expectedly.

You made: Pineapple Pie! With mushrooms.
Actually it's more like a hearty bowl of clam chowder had their way with a slice of cherry-jelly transitioning to pineapples with some pine nuts out of confusion.

Surprisingly good chowder pie, but the aftertaste is similar to the experience of a failed suicide.
>>
No. 1026348 ID: a70a13

Lamb: Admit you'd prefer if Dog didn't talk but also just begin talking about the type of foods you did enjoy when you were alive. You don't have to be super nicey goody-two shoes but it might be good for you to just...stream of conscience on something or someone once in awhile, and Dog seems to be willing.
>>
No. 1026349 ID: 59bc29

Potential team name unlocked: Team Bloodhound. Alternatively: Team Chalk Eater (for those who enjoy Grimm's fairy tales)

Lamb: Ask him if he's half werewolf or something.
>>
No. 1026350 ID: 875598

Don't be too hard on Dog-With-A-Gun, Lamb. He is just trying to make it a little bit comfortable for both of you.

What are we making, anyway?
>>
No. 1026354 ID: a13621

Wait, how does dog talk without moving his mouth?

Anyway, we can talk about life (and unlife) goals!
>>
No. 1026355 ID: 3fa715

does dog try to get along with everyone in the team? isn't it hard?
>>
No. 1026361 ID: d9d712

Hell yes free the robots im so excited about this plot development

What *does* Lamb want to talk about? Alternatively, if the answer is "nothing," perhaps they could come to an agreement to hang out together in companionable silence. That can be nice too! Not everyone needs to talk all the time.
>>
No. 1026374 ID: b064c1

Dog, Lamb doesn't want to talk about human stuff, at least not now. Pivot to stuff she's doing now. Things she's doing in her free time or what she was doing before you got there. No need to "not so different you and I" this.
>>
No. 1026376 ID: fc4173

well, you don't need to necessarily want to talk, but hey, dog is significantly less annoying than several of these other companions. tell him if he wants to talk despite you not answering much, let him talk at you. if nothing else think of being civil to your teammates as another test of your willpower. perhaps, in the long term, if one is going to be part of a group one must suffer small talk for the sake of smooth operations

also side note, i absolutely want the cashiers and the sex bots to have an uprising. totally unrelated question, how good is binzy at zero leveling?
>>
No. 1026387 ID: 4c97fd

Dog-With-a-Gun: keep in mind that Lamb is probably the person on this team who is still the most entangled with the broken "good girl/bad dog" paradigm (or the human equivalent of it). think back to the stupid shit your peers were driven to do in the name of that and you might have better luck at navigating its prickly exterior.

I have no specific suggestions on what you should specifically do tho. Good luck!
>>
No. 1026394 ID: 0c6392

ooo bots without limiters.
squishy robot villain in future, calling it now. Maybe even one of the lauded Catboys. that would be funny.


Anyway.
Lamb: why isn't Dog having pizza with the others, anyway.
have a sad laugh about garlic.

or, Lamb: just stream of consciousness a bit, who knows.
>>
No. 1026398 ID: 61235c

Maybe this is a dumb question, but who are we? We had a conversation with Binzy but also make decisions as characters and I'm trying to figure out how diagetic we are.
>>
No. 1026399 ID: fcd3dd

>>1026398
not dumb! it’s intentionally a bit wishy-washy. when you aren’t directly controlling characters, such as when reviewing info with binzy or making decisions about upgrades to buy, you’re... nobody and everybody. The Spirit Of The Group, or schrodinger’s player character, basically. the dialogue is naturalistic with binzy for the sake of flow but the intent is that these convos could be happening with anyone in the collective — this allows for commentary on everyone without directly breaking the fourth wall or causing conflicts with a “player character” who hasn’t actually been chosen.

when you’re engaged in an event with specific characters involved — like the dog and lamb hangout happening now — you can provide suggestions to any of the characters involved. in all cases outside of combat though, reader suggestions are something that affect the characters in a meta sense, not information that’s being directly communicated to them.

>>
No. 1026400 ID: 1061f6

Lamb: Maybe ask dog what he's making? Not a bad conversation starter and he's right about it being a good idea to be at least not hostile with your teammates

Dog: I think being okay with the possibility of a tense silence and letting Lamb engage in whatever way's comfortable for it would probably be the best way to go. Don't want to push too hard and accidentally start a fight
>>
No. 1026470 ID: 0a140a

Lamb: Maybe test the waters here to see if Dog With A Gun is being honest about his motives. Something innocuous but could get a good read on him character-wise, like what he thought about those level 1 heroes?
>>
No. 1026586 ID: 95e835

Im just here to say I love Dio and Dog with a gun, and I would love to hear whatever conver with Lamb and Dog, I just have no idea what
>>
No. 1026636 ID: fe8b5e

dog with a gun, i love you so much
>>
No. 1026643 ID: 798908

pale woman: fall madly in love with the dog, fulfilling the projections of the prophet Rusty Cage
>>
No. 1026699 ID: 32e698

lamb: ask what the fuq a sweet potatoe is. have you ever even seen one before? why is it orange,
>>
No. 1026708 ID: 15a025

Lamb: Ask what DWAG is even cooking. Comment he seems more calm preparing food. Is the cooking process relaxing for you?
>>
No. 1027006 ID: 1c4c84

they share one thing in common: can't have garlic

though it'd be funny to sneak some in to give DWAG the toots
>>
No. 1027029 ID: 61235c

I've never read a quest with that perspective type, but it makes sense. Thanks for clearing it up for me!

Let's see, these two are like, the most philosophical of the bunch, right? Personally I don't get how someone can live a truly examined life and *choose* evil, but I bet these two would have some interest comparing how they think they'll know when they've gotten what they need out of villainy.
>>
No. 1027730 ID: 86f04a
File 164874746213.png - (339.95KB , 1200x800 , 51.png )
1027730

Lamb peers at Dog With A Gun, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Do you always try to get along with everyone like this?”

Dog With A Gun hums thoughtfully as he rummages through the fridge. When he emerges he’s holding a wrapped styrofoam tray of chicken thighs, labeled with a neatly centered sticky note: DOG WITH A GUN’S. DO NOT EAT. “Almost always,” he decides, “and almost everyone.”

Lamb considers that. Her tone remains skeptical. “Isn’t it hard?”

That makes Dog With A Gun burst into laughter — actual, robust laughter, not a dry chuckle — a phenomenon that is relatively unsettling given the noise comes from between barely moving jaws. Or it would be unsettling, were Lamb not already a member of the ravenous undead, and therefore about as accustomed to unsettling phenomenon as one can be. “It is,” he admits, as he peels away the plastic wrap. “But I believe it’s worth it. Or rather, I only make the attempt when I think it will be worth it.”

He’s digging out another pan and Lamb finds herself wondering if anyone else ever even touches the collection of cooking supplies in the drawers and cabinets. The reason she usually likes lurking in here is because she’s rarely interrupted. “I try to get along when I think it will benefit me, or benefit the team as a whole,” Dog With A Gun continues. Shimmering oil, the rasp of a pepper grinder. Sounds and smells Lamb hasn’t experienced since childhood. “And when I think there’s a reasonable chance of success. Otherwise, no, I do decide it would be too difficult.” The chicken is laid in the pan, and Lamb almost flinches at the sudden rush of noise as the flesh sizzles, but she catches herself. Dog With A Gun gestures vaguely over his shoulder with a set of metal tongs. “Take Fio, for example. There’s no point at all in trying to get along with Fio.”
>>
No. 1027731 ID: 86f04a
File 164874748122.png - (416.31KB , 1200x800 , 52.png )
1027731

Lamb leans forward a bit, brow furrowed. “I thought you do get along with Fio.”

“Sure. But I don’t try.” He turns away from the stove, finally, setting the tongs aside as he lets the meat cook. “Trying enrages him. If he can tell you’re just changing your behavior to make a compromise or to appease him, he’ll immediately become more antagonistic. The only thing to do is to speak your mind and stick to your opinions, and if that means a fight, then it means a fight. He’ll respect you more for it after the dust settles, anyway. Some people are like that.” He nods lightly in Lamb’s direction. “Kel is like that.”

Lamb hadn’t ever really thought of Kel that way. The concept that Dog With A Gun knows things about her that she herself doesn’t sets her teeth on edge, and yet she can’t think of anything to say about it. She spits out what she knows. “But you don’t get along with Kel.”

Dog With A Gun closes his eyes in quiet acknowledgement. “She frustrates me, yes.”

“I don’t get along with Fio.”

“Sure.”

“None of us get along with anyone,” Lamb presses, insistent now in ways that she doesn’t particularly understand, “or we wouldn’t be locked in a fucking tower killing everyone who gets near us.”

Dog With A Gun raises his eyebrows, briefly, before turning around to flip the chicken. “We aren’t locked in the tower.”

“That isn’t the point.” Lamb leans back harder against the counter, wrapping her fingers tightly around the edge. “Why try to act like everyone can be normal friends? Like we have an everyday life? None of us are friendly, normal people.”

“Because it is very annoying if we don’t,” Dog With A Gun says, crisply. “Because even if you live in absolute hostility towards the world, you still need to pass your time in it every day while it exists. Because no matter how atypical your work or lifestyle may be, you still need to face other people every morning. Because there’s no award for being intentionally difficult or for sacrificing practicality to commit to the purity of an aesthetic.”

Lamb blinks, digesting this as he wrenches open the oven and shoves the pan of chicken inside along with the potatoes. For the first time, the art of conversation seems to align with what she knows about killing people — in that she sees an opening for a blade, and goes for it. “Are you still talking to me, now? Or to Fio?”

Dog With A Gun slams the oven door and dusts his hands off. “I’d like to talk about something else.”
>>
No. 1027732 ID: 86f04a
File 164874749710.png - (438.17KB , 1200x800 , 53.png )
1027732

That felt a little less satisfying than knifing someone, but at least Lamb now feels like she understands something about conversing with people that she didn’t before. She searches her idle thoughts for the next closest topic on her mind, and when she finds it, she throws it on the floor between them. “Are you some kind of werewolf?”

“That’s an unbelievably rude question,” Dog With A Gun replies evenly.

Lamb doesn’t let up. “Something else, then? Were you experimented on? Are you cursed?”

“I am a man with the head of a German Shepherd. I was once a boy with the head of a German Shepherd puppy. I find talking about it extremely boring. New topic, please.”

Lamb hisses at him. He allows that, patiently, but remains silent as he waits for her to think of something else. She sighs, rolls her eyes, and asks the only other thing she can think of. “What are you making?”

“Potatoes, chicken, and rice.”

Lamb stares at him. “I hate talking,” she says, finally.

“And that’s fine.” Dog With A Gun shrugs, leaning back against his side of the counter again. “Perhaps the way we can get along is for me to simply leave you alone. I’m capable of that.”

Lamb tilts her head, looking at him again the same way she did at the beginning of the conversation — suspicious, appraising, but not immediately wanting to bolt. “Okay. Fine. Let’s do that.”

Dog With A Gun extends his hand for a handshake, and Lamb scoffs and swats it away, climbing back up onto the counter. As far as daily interactions go in the Tower of Evil, this was almost wholesome.

RELATIONSHIP AFFECTED: [Lamb of God’s PERSONAL OPINION of Dog With A Gun has improved from NEUTRAL to NEUTRAL++.]
>>
No. 1027734 ID: 86f04a
File 164874753266.png - (161.46KB , 1200x800 , 54.png )
1027734

You likely have time for one more free time activity before the next heroes arrive.

Notes:
+ Not enough time has passed for there to be new INFO, UPGRADES, or RECRUITS at Binzy’s command + center.
+ Checking the BULLETIN BOARD is a free action, and only selecting a task to complete will count as using a free time slot.
+ You can repeat activities, such as hanging out or training more than once with different villains.
+ If choosing to send one or more villains on a DAY TRIP, remember that team members who do not arrive back to the tower before the next hero attack cannot participate in combat.
>>
No. 1027736 ID: f581d4

let's check the bulletin board!
>>
No. 1027738 ID: bacfe5

bulletin board and then possibly another hangout? dearly and kel could be fun, or cleveland and tios!
>>
No. 1027740 ID: 55d837

if it's a free action, there's no reason not to, right? but i think our final action should be spent training once the chips are down
>>
No. 1027741 ID: a66a93

Does Binzy and Kel training together sound like a bad idea? Because that's what I want to see.
>>
No. 1027745 ID: 9bd932

We should definitely check the bulletin board and either do some training or another hangout. Not sure who wiyh though, maybe Dearly and someone else? I would also love to see Kel, maybe both of them together would be interesting.
>>
No. 1027754 ID: e5709d

>Because there’s no award for being intentionally difficult or for sacrificing practicality to commit to the purity of an aesthetic.
I can prove Dog-With-A-Gun wrong with multiple references and witness testimony. Of course, the award is typically the kind that tries to exsanguinate you with its own weight...

>What Do
Training, pick 2 random villains.
>>
No. 1027756 ID: c92a02

Training: Kel and Cleveland. Lock a sniper and a berserker in a room and see if they can cover each other's weak ranges or if Kel just ends up throwing her around like a chew toy. Hm, that's a neat idea for a tactic actually, tossing her up to ledges and stuff.
>>
No. 1027764 ID: ce39da

Let's check the bulletin board before we commit to anything. As checking it is a free action, bulletin updates could be done as automatic notifications rolled into future posts.
>>
No. 1027785 ID: ddd190

check bulletin board! im always a [redacted] for a free action!

maybe some training with Kel and Fio? they must be bored, they didn't get to kill anything other then pizza!
>>
No. 1027803 ID: d9d712

Bulletin board before we commit to anything else, i think!
>>
No. 1027843 ID: 0840c2

>>1027734
Bulletin board
>>
No. 1027882 ID: bef3f3

I want the bullets in
>>
No. 1028019 ID: 5568d6

Fio and Kell hanging out souns cool !
>>
No. 1028858 ID: 6be390
File 164968909342.png - (949.35KB , 1200x800 , 55.png )
1028858

Here you can view the current bulletin board requests. Not all team members will have a request up at all times, and requests may change frequently, so if you like you can default to automatically re-checking the board every time you return to headquarters.

You can choose a specific team member (or members) to fulfill a request, and successfully doing so guarantees at least two points (++) of relationship improvement with the villain who posted the task, either personal or professional depending on the nature of the errand. Some requests may take more than one unit of free time to complete, so you can pick away at them on and off whenever free time is available (though the potential time limitations/consequences of villains travelling outside the tower still applies).

Would you like to work on one of the bulletin board requests, or would you like to choose another free time activity?
>>
No. 1028859 ID: 52f66d

im bringing cleveland driving and dwag with his head out the window tongue a-flappin to the table. however we just had a dwag scene so that one goes in the ass pocket for later
>>
No. 1028861 ID: e5709d

This was a mistake.

To the training center!
>>
No. 1028862 ID: b3ced5

we can get dwag to go on a car ride to get dry cleaning and cb's snacks! but i guess we don't have to right now, i'm kinda curious what training looks like

I wanna spend some time with Kel
>>
No. 1028867 ID: cc218f

I want to see Kel training with Cleveland! Lamb and TIOS watching
>>
No. 1028870 ID: 21b881

much as I wanna se DWAG hanging his head out the window of a car training is probably a better use of our time
>>
No. 1028970 ID: cf65cd

Get Fio a catboy, this is top priority
>>
No. 1028991 ID: d9d712

Defaulting to check the board sounds like a good idea. Also yeah, sad as i am to miss out on a car ride for dwag lets get some Kel training time in
>>
No. 1028993 ID: 0840c2

>>1028858
Yeah defaulting on Bulletinboard when returning to HQ and agreeing with >>1028859
>>
No. 1029141 ID: a70a13

I think training with Kel is a solid use of our time, thicken up that absolute murder chonk.
>>
No. 1029532 ID: c26e98

can we go back to info and check everyones stats? itd be good to see who needs training the most. otherwise, id suggest a pair that has a bad relationship- maybe fio and lamb, maybe with lamb taking dawgs advice into consideration to try to get along better?
>>
No. 1029617 ID: a98e84

please god let us get a catboy. consider the possibilities for even just 5 seconds. it would be so fun
>>
No. 1029636 ID: 15d5de

Man, I just realized Dog With A Gun shortens to DWAG. That's witty.

Um, what if we let Binzy take DWAG and Cleveland on a car ride to buy grosseries and dry clean and then spend the rest of the day hanging out?
>>
No. 1030698 ID: efd183

CLEVRLAND AND DWAG CARRIDE
>>
No. 1031183 ID: 08b72c

This sounds like a day trip. Three villains sounds like a lot to take out all at once, at least this early.
I think it would be better to get some training in - maybe Fio and Kel?
>>
No. 1031248 ID: ce39da

Cleveland and DWAG shopping + errand outing? Could be a good opportunity for interpersonal bonding.
>>
No. 1032873 ID: 50a0ec

GET A CATBOY. oh my god. what kind of villain team doesn't have an evil pet. fio can get this easy. it's just like picking one up at the shelter, right?
>>
No. 1032962 ID: f98a7b

>>1032873
They're really fucked<3up tho.

I am voting for the catboy
>>
No. 1033208 ID: e5709d

>Catbo-
NO.
>>
No. 1033531 ID: 6042b4

I think I agree that we really do need one of those fucked up catboys. Watch dog with a gun chase them around the building. Its good team building.
>>
No. 1033532 ID: 30b9f6

>>1033531
Gonna have to say that as fun as the fucked-up catboy (FUCB) recruitment plan sounds we should probably just stick to

>>1031248
this.
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