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File 163838210364.png - (41.44KB , 650x450 , unknown.png )
1016479 No. 1016479 ID: 0fbdcd

Expand all images
No. 1016480 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838212156.gif - (22.87KB , 650x450 , 1.gif )

No. 1016481 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838213751.gif - (34.88KB , 650x450 , 2.gif )

:Comedy:: Told ya we'd show up again! Honk!
:Tragedy:: πŸ‘‹πŸ˜ƒ
No. 1016482 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838218960.gif - (35.46KB , 650x450 , 3.gif )

:Comedy:: I think it was a nice little show, at least, don't you?
:Tragedy:: πŸ‘πŸ˜πŸ‘Ž
:Comedy:: What makes you so indecisive, you goober? I mean, barely anyone died in funny ways, and that's what you're always upset by! Honk!
:Tragedy:: πŸ™
:Tragedy:: πŸ’€βš–πŸŒŒ
:Tragedy:: :Captain:πŸŒŒβš–:RedDwarf:🌌
:Tragedy:: :Captain:πŸ‘ͺβš–:RedDwarf:πŸ‘ͺ
:Tragedy:: πŸ’₯
:Tragedy:: 😭
:Comedy:: Well, them's the breaks, ya idiot! A story's an omelette of things changing, and a couple eggs gotta break!
:Comedy:: But it always has to come to an end.
:Comedy:: I think this one's just about wrapped up!
:Tragedy:: 😐
:Tragedy:: πŸ”šπŸ“β“
:Comedy:: More? Like an epilogue? Why?
:Tragedy:: πŸ“š
:Comedy:: Hey, that bookcase! You forgot about it! You idiot, why didn't you do the Epilogue?!
:Tragedy:: πŸ˜‘
:Comedy:: I bet you haven't even done the recap yet!
No. 1016483 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838226999.gif - (36.77KB , 650x450 , 4.gif )

:Tragedy:: πŸ˜’πŸͺ‘
No. 1016484 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838228366.gif - (38.24KB , 650x450 , 5.gif )

:Tragedy:: πŸ˜’β”¬β”€β”¬
No. 1016485 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838235269.gif - (40.33KB , 650x450 , 6.gif )

:Tragedy:: πŸ˜’βŒ¨

The following link contains a recap of the core story of DECOMPRESSED: Nuke Ops. For obvious reasons, it is optional reading.

No. 1016486 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838238313.gif - (36.96KB , 650x450 , 7.gif )

:Tragedy:: πŸ˜’πŸ“„βœ
:Comedy:: Alright, alright! Sheesh! I get it, you little git!
:Tragedy:: πŸŽ‰
:Comedy:: You know, drawing a bit out this long is practically the worst punishment you could give me!
:Comedy:: Go ahead and mime out a torture rack! Honk!
:Tragedy:: πŸ™„
:Tragedy:: πŸ“šπŸ“šπŸ“š
:Comedy:: Alright, alright! It's like you have no sense of humor.
No. 1016487 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838239842.gif - (35.47KB , 650x450 , 8.gif )

:Comedy:: So impatient.
:Comedy:: I'll speed us through the boring crap.
:Tragedy:: πŸ˜ƒ
:Comedy:: So, what do you want this epilogue to be?
:Comedy:: I hope we find out someone died in a funny way! Honk!
:Tragedy:: πŸ‘Ž
:Tragedy:: 🍾πŸ₯‚πŸŽŠπŸŽˆπŸ₯³
:Comedy:: Happy endings are BO-RING! Honk!
:Comedy:: Well, you might get your wish anyway. Looks like this next part is nice and relaxed!
No. 1016488 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838241840.gif - (25.01KB , 650x450 , 9.gif )

:Comedy:: Coming up next, Red Dwarf's Day Off!
:Comedy:: See you in a while, folks!
:Tragedy:: πŸ‘‹
No. 1016489 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838242225.gif - (1.98KB , 650x450 , 10.gif )

No. 1016490 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838258627.gif - (16.88KB , 650x450 , 11.gif )

A little more adrenaline arrives, late to the party. Chemicals designed to get you out of a dangerous jungle situation kick down the door of your gut rudely on your way back to consciousness.
No. 1016491 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838259802.gif - (16.63KB , 650x450 , 12.gif )

But you're okay. Calm down, you're alright. Aside from the flickers of pain in your torso, everything is, somehow, fine. You fight off unconsciousness just for the fun of a little tussle, to put that adrenaline to use.

You're okay. You're safe at home now.
No. 1016492 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838261372.gif - (21.25KB , 650x450 , 13.gif )

You are :RedDwarf:. You are leader of the notoriously nuclear gang of fixers and criminals known as the Redshift Operators. You recently dis-established a hideously unsafe space station created by the Company. A long campaign of violent subversion took you into and then right back out of their airlocks, in search of explosively radiological solutions to economic problems. And, in spite of wounds sustained in the course of action, you survived.

Your subordinates, :RedGiant:, :WhiteDwarf:, and :Neutron: are somewhere around the outpost you all reside at. Your primary objective is... Well, you don't have one of those right now, do you? Maybe debrief the rest of the gang, and congratulate them? You'll figure it out.

Enter a command.
No. 1016493 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838263643.gif - (19.70KB , 650x450 , 14.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Look over what's on your desk

Outposts like this don't have much space in them, so you just set up your sleeping arrangements in the armory. This is the workbench for it! You maintain the weapons and other cool, death-dealing equipment for your crew here.
No. 1016494 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838267207.gif - (19.41KB , 650x450 , 15.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: What's that paper on your table?

You didn't write this one. Huh. You take a read...

I predicted, of course, that you would look here immediately. A physical note is so much less impersonal than a message for you on your computer, yes? As you now return from the dark realms of death, take care and be cautious. Perhaps you will find yourself haunted, or otherwise subject to a terrible curse. However, I expect the more banal and mundane pains to weigh on you. You may need painkillers to numb your mortal agonies, and you will certainly need food. The team, however, needs sleep. I have left medicines in the kitchen, and encourage you to have a small meal to restore strength, but cannot be present as you awaken.


No. 1016495 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838270857.gif - (21.12KB , 650x450 , 16.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: read the contents of your wanted poster, feel a sense of pride and accomplishment
>@Lady Birb

You and like-minded people like to gather copies of wanted posters of notorious galactic freedom fighters, which tend to have "editions" and "limited run sets" and other collectability aspects. Is it egotistical to keep a copy of your own? Sure, but they also give you more resolve and determination. You leave a lot of them around the outpost, and sometimes you examine them to improve your morale.

It says...

Wanted for destruction of Company property, disruption of sanctioned profit, corporate espionage, industrial libel, assault of corporate officers....

It goes on for a bit. You love this one. It's from just a couple years ago, but pre-bombing posters are probably gonna be rare and valued after what happened yesterday.
No. 1016496 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838275058.gif - (40.82KB , 650x450 , 17.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Ponder the poster above your bed

It's promo material for something called "MARE CRISIUM." :WhiteDwarf: gave it to you. Apparently it's from some weird space program thing or something, but you never could keep track of that. She has tons of this kind of stuff all over the outpost.

However, you think that this weird space robot with a fucked up sucking chest wound looks pretty rad and brutal, so you put it up.
No. 1016497 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838278228.gif - (24.04KB , 650x450 , 18.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Look behind your bookcase.

You can't do that right now. You may only examine what's behind your bookcase at the end of the day, when you know that your crew are asleep. You may also examine what's behind the shelf if you decide that their knowing the truth is worth the immense risk they'd be at.
No. 1016498 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838280353.gif - (20.58KB , 650x450 , 19.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: computer time

Sounds good. This thing runs like crap, but at least it can handle messenger apps. Maybe you should see if you have anything waiting for you?
No. 1016499 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838282021.gif - (30.18KB , 650x450 , 20.gif )

Actually, maybe you'll take today off.
No. 1016500 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838284281.gif - (19.47KB , 650x450 , 21.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Who is that mysterious figure wearing red glasses?

That's Hank, one of your personal heroes and inspirations. He got you into the hobby of mass firearm violence in claustrophobic facilities. You want to get this thing autographed someday. He got into some kind of weird occult stuff later in life though, you might not get that chance.
No. 1016501 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838287861.gif - (12.44KB , 650x450 , 22.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Play a haunting saxophone refrain

The armory isn't totally soundproof! Don't wake your crew up! You do a short little tune, just to keep it fresh. You resolve to get in a jam session with the gang later.
No. 1016502 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838291081.gif - (21.30KB , 650x450 , 23.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Fondly regard disky

If they weren't going to change the authentication codes before, they're definitely going to now. This bad boy is totally useless, but what a hell of a souvenir. They must have left it in here because they knew you'd enjoy having it. You should put this thing somewhere safe.
No. 1016503 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838293185.gif - (15.94KB , 650x450 , 24.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Tuck the Nuclear Authentication Disk safely into bed.

Sleep tight, disky.
No. 1016504 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838295345.gif - (12.78KB , 650x450 , 25.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Get on with it!

You're feeling incredibly hungry, and pain's flickering around your torso. Ought to get on towards the kitchen.
No. 1016505 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838299080.gif - (13.73KB , 650x450 , 26.gif )

You head out to one of the outpost halls. Free reign to head to anywhere from here.
No. 1016506 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163838302934.gif - (23.56KB , 650x450 , 27.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: examine another poster in the wall

That's Sader Fiasco. She's retired now, but she practically wrote the combat doctrine for space-vessel infiltrators of all kinds. You disagree with some of how she did things, but you have to respect the results. This one's one of :WhiteDwarf:'s favorites for some reason.
No. 1016513 ID: c92a02

Find a window. Is it snowy or hellish outside?
No. 1016561 ID: 34dfce

Idk if it is intentional, but the drive link is broken.
No. 1016562 ID: 8b1fc0

sneakily check in on your teammates, just to make sure they're asleep and not up to any unhealthy shenanigans (or like, getting possessed or attacked or some such, that'd suck)
No. 1016880 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163894719216.gif - (22.01KB , 650x450 , 28.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: look at potted plant

"Cactuscactuscactususususussssssssss" was what you were told the name of this one was. :RedGiant: has a lot of plants that he takes care of around the outpost. Kind of hurts your eyes to look at the fractal spines that are tinier versions of the plant.
No. 1016881 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163894721422.gif - (20.13KB , 650x450 , 29.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Make a mental note of the layout of the outpost.

Most of these rooms have been repurposed in some way. For example, the firing range to your west pulls double duty as a space for rambunctious musical jam sessions, and the engineering area hosts your crew's gaming stuff. Not to mention where you've all set up your sleep arrangements.
No. 1016882 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163894723486.gif - (22.85KB , 650x450 , 30.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: FOOD

Alright, alright. Shortest path is through your gathering space. It's still a mess from your pre-operation planning session. You're not sure why you expected it to not be a mess. Maybe major events just make you assume banal stuff evaporates on contact. But no: you get back home and there's still the big map and the boardgame stuff to clean up eventually.
No. 1016883 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163894725557.gif - (18.55KB , 650x450 , 31.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: check out another plant behind

This one's called First Wheat. There's a primitivist faction of the frontier that holds the intense belief that humanity was domesticated by a certain type of plant to act as its servants, to spread it across many landmasses and eventually many planets.
No. 1016884 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163894727978.gif - (27.22KB , 650x450 , 32.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Fondly ponder game of Settlers of Orion

A multiplayer, tabletop entry in the Orion Trail franchise. You all try to play this thing every couple weeks. :Neutron: swears it's a good time, and unlike certain other games, they hardly even seem to try to win.
No. 1016885 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163894729804.gif - (52.43KB , 650x450 , 33.gif )

>:RedDwarf: : How did that Settlers game end, anyways?

Same as every other game. You were absolutely going to win it, until she did some long-road bullshit play. And then you never got a chance to finish it because it was time for a nuclear operation.
No. 1016886 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163894732674.gif - (22.66KB , 650x450 , 34.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Briefly wonder if Orion has religious connotations the same way Libra does

Probably, but has blasphemy ever stopped the Company from releasing a new product? You're pretty sure they got this one out the door to really mess up friendships all over the frontier, or something like that. It's the only possible explanation.
No. 1016887 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163894735639.gif - (21.60KB , 650x450 , 35.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Find a window. Is it snowy or hellish outside?

Before you grab a bite, you should at least check the weather.
No. 1016888 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163894737298.gif - (1.29MB , 650x450 , 36.gif )

You visit the exterior observation room. Snow peacefully blankets the planet outside, making the near-empty planet your outpost sits on shine in soft, chilly white. Within, you and your friends are warm and safe, happy despite the small space. Your crew sleeps peacefully. The Company might as well not exist.

After all that happened, you're okay. The frontier isn't on fire here, nor does the Egregore feast.
No. 1017811 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993103743.gif - (22.50KB , 650x450 , 37.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Write "NUKED" on the map of the station.

You head back in. Defacing the now-useless map with "tactical" information like this is surprisingly satisfying.
No. 1017812 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993105932.gif - (17.61KB , 650x450 , 38.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Proceed to the kitchen. Eat everything through your helmet
>@neo 42

Wait, do what through what? You're not sure you understand that part, but you can head into the kitchen at least.
No. 1017813 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993107950.gif - (24.40KB , 650x450 , 39.gif )


They couldn't even get a good picture of the sage Solipso, he's just that damn slippery. This ring runner develops the cutting edge of space stealth. Your infiltrator shuttle's systems were based on some theories about him. You just wish he'd do more. Flying under the radar only matters if you're going somewhere, you know?
No. 1017814 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993110289.gif - (13.23KB , 650x450 , 40.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: examine the plant on the table

That's a pothos. Every good narrative needs a little pothos before it's over, after all.
No. 1017815 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993112522.gif - (81.71KB , 650x450 , 41.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Eat the plant on the table

No. 1017816 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993115395.gif - (37.55KB , 650x450 , 42.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Examine the calendar on the far wall.

A blue-skied vista of somewhere called "Shadoon", from a videogame called "CrossWorlds" that :Neutron: was really into for a while. For a few weeks, they were putting twelve hours a day into this thing before suddenly dropping it completely. Instatainment's game developers ruined your jam session schedule for almost a whole month.

You feel satisfied when you mark yesterday's events in red.
No. 1017817 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993117802.gif - (21.69KB , 650x450 , 43.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Examine meds.

The good stuff. :WhiteDwarf: learned home medical chemistry before you even met her, but she's only gotten better. You're not too bad yourself, though your work is all about chemical payloads on grenades, not pills, patches, or shots.
No. 1017818 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993119840.gif - (17.01KB , 650x450 , 44.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Take your normal pills
>@The Wrench

They're just pain pills. You don't need any pills to seem well-adjusted and cool, that's what the point of the mask is.

You grab a glass of water to help it go down. You can't dry-swallow pills, a fact you've shamefully hidden from your teammates for years.
No. 1017819 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993121964.gif - (22.15KB , 650x450 , 45.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Examine that spice rack looking thing

The spice rack looking thing is a spice rack. :RedGiant: loves to make meals for everyone, and no well-used kitchen is complete without a lot of spices. There's also the knife block next to it. One favorite knife once stored there is now missing, and you have a sneaking suspicion that you know what happened to it.

Thinking about :RedGiant:'s cooking is making you extra-hungry. The stomach pulls double-duty in compelling you forward now that the pain is beginning to abate.
No. 1017820 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993124218.gif - (23.01KB , 650x450 , 46.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Your stomach demands sating

You should get something hearty, and filling. A big stack of pancakes, or a load of bacon, or something with eggs. You acquire a fairly sugary, heavily branded cereal from the cabinet because holy shit, you are still really tired after yesterday.
No. 1017821 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993126316.gif - (25.64KB , 650x450 , 47.gif )

>:RedDwarf: : Examine everything

Possibly as a result of oxygen deprivation or today's random whims of compulsion, you are looking at every single object and contemplating its history and relevance to your operations.
No. 1017822 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993127713.gif - (29.49KB , 650x450 , 48.gif )

That's the special run of Cuban Pete's Sugar Bombs. This instance of the cereal is branded with the face of a notorious mad bomber figure from history, reviled and admired for sudden and unexpectedly explosive obliteration, until his eventual disappearance.

The Company often reclaims the image rights of terrorists through complex legal maneuvering. With any luck, the Company will be dead soon enough that history won't see you recorded with your face on the front of fruit snacks and packaged pastries.
No. 1017823 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993129958.gif - (21.29KB , 650x450 , 49.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Acquire space milk before the team finds out you can't dry-swallow cereal either

That's more of a taste thing. But still: They can never know. You head back before it gets soggy.
No. 1017824 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993132408.gif - (25.74KB , 650x450 , 50.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: What's on the computer here?
>@Lady Birb

Your crew can't afford to get a real, proper television delivered out here. Sure can afford the crappy computers left behind at this outpost, though. So you've repurposed this one in your eating-slash-gathering space, to share funny videos or have something to watch during meals, perpetually loaded onto video-sharing sites.

You're unable to resist the unhealthy compulsion to look at galactic current events commentary from unhinged internet sources. You four each have your own particular favorite, though.

You, :RedDwarf:, have your own favorite: The Chuckling Dirtbags Experience, a humorous podcast featuring a group of men whose comedic audience is mostly themselves, and rarely their guests. It is politically radical enough to incite terrorism on nearly a yearly basis.
:RedGiant:'s personal favorite is the BBC (Beagles, Bulldogs and Collies) Network. An advanced evolution of doomscrolling, it provides a ticker of the most raw and bleak headlines over cute videos of dogs, in order to keep up-to-date with the most awful events while still keeping a kind and positive mindset.
:WhiteDwarf:'s is obviously the Virtual Newstubers, a combination of virtual avatars and two-dimensional jacent who have surpassed most broadcast news anchors in audience retention. You have never once seen any of them manage to stay on-script or on-air for over two years.
:Neutron: always, always puts on the Video E-Sayists. Their work is dry, but sometimes you can skip the first fifteen minutes of describing context from the 1800s and get incredibly in-depth looks at what went on. Or a very, very satisfying nap.

Which should you look to for a perspective on galactic events today?
No. 1017825 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993139431.gif - (551.70KB , 650x450 , 51.gif )

(Art credit: @AsciiSquid)

Despite not being a valid choice, :Chaplain: had 40 votes at tally time.

You find yourself incredibly indecisive. At random, you pick one of the many other video streams. This one's an internal feed from the Jian Shang Di, a group that both feuds with and inspires the knightly types of the Holy Solar Orders. Notorious for a demon-hunting focus and certain divinely cybernetic habits, these servants of EYE are mostly only known to people like yourself, which is to say, crackpots and unhinged internet theorists. You can't really understand most of what they're saying, but you turn on the auto-translation.

It's not very good.

πŸ“Ί: ...manifesto with audacious claims from Agents of Syndicate.
πŸ“Ί: Leadership of EYE and Secreta Secretorum have not released condemnation or released endorsement of nuclear Crusade against Demons called "Egregore".
πŸ“Ί: Sources close to Temple leadership have stated, "Demons called 'Egregore' may not exist, or may be the worst Demons."
πŸ“Ί: What will you do, warrior? When you cannot guarantee the flesh before you is the monster you seek, what can you trust to chart a path through dark? Your comrades? Your eyes? Your heart? Or perhaps only your blade?
πŸ“Ί: In other news, Company has accidentally dropped Important Brouzouf number. It is spilled all over the Frontier.

You hit another channel, in frustration about the language barrier.
No. 1017826 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993143496.gif - (413.59KB , 650x450 , 52.gif )

At tally time, the top vote was 79 for :RedGiant: and 79 for :WhiteDwarf:.

You swap over to the BBC news. Uh oh, they're in breaking news mode, so they're running the unfiltered slideshow and they've got one of the freelance Newstubers running anchor duty. Against your will, you've had explained to you that this is apparently Pioneer 10 as a cute girl for some reason.

πŸ“Ί: ...Efficacy of supply deliveries throughout the frontier sector is expected to drop by 40% in the next month, bringing sector logistics to -25% sustenance threshold, -30% biomedical threshold, -15% domestic goods threshold, -5% luxury goods threshold, and -30% security force threshold.
πŸ“Ί: Now, please look at this sleepy boy.
πŸ“Ί: He is exhausted from a hard day's work being so good.
πŸ“Ί: Thank you for the superchat, "CrossedTheShrine": 'He looks like he's scrungly'. Okay, I don't know what that means.
πŸ“Ί: Company representatives have promised to work to work tirelessly to restore essential supply lines through belt-tightening and cost-cutting in frontier stations, after multiple subsidiary auto-bankruptcy cascades resulted in early-morning defaults on essential debts,

πŸ“Ί: And now, a financial advisory.
πŸ“Ί: Are you considering helping crowdfund a frontier refugee caravan? Refugee caravans are known to spread financial failures to their destinations.
πŸ“Ί: Instead of risking core worlds stability, note that this dog is sandwiched under soft pillows. He is probably not delicious, but is still a good boy.
πŸ“Ί: Multiple adaptive algo-contracts have been reported acting erratically, resulting in sudden failures throughout the trading day. Failures were primarily centered in the security sector.
πŸ“Ί: Thank you for the superchat, "Deez Joke Pope": 'Season's Greason's'. Season's greasons to you too? It's November.

πŸ“Ί: In related news, the radical egregorists responsible for last night's frontier station bombing have been identified.
πŸ“Ί: A militant terrorist cell called "Redshift", presumed led by a man named :RedGiant:, has claimed responsibility for the bombing.
πŸ“Ί: Look at this long dog. He's been extended like taffy.
πŸ“Ί: While the manifesto released afterwards claims the cell's intent to strike at some form of demon, the bombing appears to have instead killed six crewmembers and wounded over thirty.

πŸ“Ί: Further death was prevented by the station's :Captain: and :HeadOfSecurity:, who selflessly sacrificed themselves to protect the crew during the station's final minutes.
πŸ“Ί: Thank you for the superchat, "Yolocaust": 'That dog looked like dryer lint.' He's a very curly boy, Yol, please appreciate him.
πŸ“Ί: Company leadership has released initial plans to dedicate a new Emergency Response Team facility to :HeadOfSecurity:.
πŸ“Ί: "Heroism is real," They said in a prepared statement. "One security team member fought the terrorists with guns and fists in multiple skirmishes through tremendous courage, saving dozens of lives. We hope his name will inspire officers everywhere."
πŸ“Ί: Wait, I think that last dog might have actually been a cat.

πŸ“Ί: Anyway, the same is not true for the remainder of the heads of staff, who are being held for corporate tribunal due to controversial accusations of negligence and dereliction of duty...
No. 1017827 ID: 0fbdcd
File 163993146381.gif - (29.82KB , 650x450 , 53.gif )

>:RedDwarf:: Throw babyrage tantrum at the news report

You're not mad, actually. In fact, you're entirely emotionally unaffected, just like any gruff, tough merc of your caliber would be when he's right about something! It's just, you just have some disputes, with various facts of the situation, and opinions, and certain things people are saying in the chat and comments sections.

But that's fine. You'll post funny images later about how their social group is overemotional and failing to recognize your leaderlike qualities and superior political opinions.
No. 1017885 ID: 094652

Plot to "kidnap" Pioneer-Chan using a combination of dark web hacking, actual kidnapping, and the creation of a website called "WerewolfTowardAbductiontimeInternetexplorer10Chan.tv" (We're gonna kidnap Pioneer-10-Chan)
No. 1019567 ID: 0fbdcd
File 164135645521.gif - (14.48KB , 650x450 , 54.gif )

>:WhiteDwarf:: Enter frame at an embarrassing moment.

Embarrassing? You've never gotten embarrassed in your entire life, certainly not while attempting to embody your dramatic habits and cryptic identity. And even if you walk in on :RedDwarf: choking a bit on cereal and muttering things to himself, you like to generously interpret it more in a brooding, anguished tone than embarrassing. Like a darker, rival-coded ninja whose internal dialogue you have no access to, but which is surely the right kind of melodramatic.

:WhiteDwarf:: Ah, good morning.
:RedDwarf:: Hhhh. Ghhk.
:RedDwarf: swallows.
:RedDwarf:: Morning.
:WhiteDwarf:: Are you feeling well, then?
:RedDwarf:: Yeah, yeah. My torso's not the one under threat, look here!
No. 1019568 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:WhiteDwarf:: Hey, what're they saying on the news?

:RedDwarf:: I know you don't got an ounce of shame in you. But look at this shit!
:RedDwarf:: Can you believe this stuff they're saying about us?
:WhiteDwarf:: I didn't know you watched Pioneer 10. Are you one of her, what are they called, "orbiters"?
:RedDwarf:: Fuck off with that, I don't! She's filling in. It's-- look, just look at what she's sayin'.
:WhiteDwarf:: Ah, you're looking at the news.
:WhiteDwarf:: Are you getting upset by it?
:RedDwarf:: I've never been upset in my whole damn life.

Oh no. It's this particular brand of his brooding.

:RedDwarf:: They got so much wrong though!
:WhiteDwarf:: Indeed. They must not be very invested in secret insights.
:WhiteDwarf:: Perhaps they've failed to subscribe to haunting visions, or access to the sources of shadowy, faceless councils.
:RedDwarf:: I'm! So!!
:RedDwarf:: Embarrassed on their behalf. For how they're embarrassin' themselves in public.
:WhiteDwarf:: Which provokes this reaction, of course. With the clenching, and--
:RedDwarf:: I'm not clenching. I'm wincing, on their behalf, imagining them getting embarrassed when they find out how wrong they were, actually.
:WhiteDwarf:: Hm, yes. That sounds like a valid thing to viscerally imagine.
:RedDwarf:: I just think it's real embarrassing! For them.
:RedDwarf:: 'Cause everyone's gonna know they got essential stuff like the team lead wrong!
No. 1019569 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:Spider: : Look ma, I'm on TV!

You pop a squat on the screen with the rest of the cute animals, and listen to the warm terrain talk amongst themselves.
No. 1019570 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:WhiteDwarf:: Begin planning which cartoon to switch to, to calm :RedDwarf: down.

He probably won't accept cartoons, but wow, galactic news, as a morning thing? Bad start to a day. You try to tactfully redirect this.

:RedDwarf:: I mean come on! Look at me!
:RedDwarf:: How could they think I'm not the damn squad lead!
:WhiteDwarf:: By foolishly judging by height, one assumes.
:RedDwarf:: Exactly! They're about to be so damn embarrassed.
:WhiteDwarf:: Mmhmm, yes, they will. So, let us see what's on the other streams.
:RedDwarf:: And listen! She keeps saying the Company's gonna work to fix it.
:WhiteDwarf:: Indeed, I understand there are some very ethical, very suicidal economic maneuvers it ought to do to instead sustain the frontier.
:WhiteDwarf:: But it won't, of course. Shall we change the stream to--

:RedDwarf:: Can you believe people give this shit the views?
:WhiteDwarf:: Everything on that screen is cute, :RedDwarf:. That can go quite some distance, without substance.
:RedDwarf:: So what the hell! Should I be fillin' my manifesto with these dinner-plate-eyed bitches?
:WhiteDwarf:: I've told you to do that, every time you ask me to review them.
:WhiteDwarf:: I'm telling you to do it again.
:RedDwarf:: Over my dead goddamn body.
:WhiteDwarf:: Accept my design for Slayer-chan, :RedDwarf:, and embrace her gap-moe youthful bloodlust.
:RedDwarf:: No.
:WhiteDwarf:: Let endless waves of readers be charmed into joining her crusade.
:RedDwarf:: Stop.
No. 1019571 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:WhiteDwarf:: Table the Slayer-chan thing and make sure your leader isn't still internally bleeding

He's had it pretty rough, and diverting this is wise so he'll feel better as soon as possible..

:WhiteDwarf:: Ah, look, our conversation has diverged from the news, I should turn that off.
:WhiteDwarf:: I'd like to make sure you are still recovering well, given what happened yesterday.
:RedDwarf:: Hold on, a minute, I need to look at more cringe.

Oh space Jesus Christ.

:WhiteDwarf:: Are you sure? I know you're not enraged, but it may at some point begin to upset you.
:RedDwarf:: I'm not mad.
:WhiteDwarf:: I said you aren't, but perhaps they might find a way to agitate you.
:WhiteDwarf:: Maybe we could discuss your injuries?
:RedDwarf:: It's just, can you believe what they're saying?
:WhiteDwarf:: I lived through its falseness, by necessity I absolutely cannot.
:RedDwarf:: No, I mean, can you believe they're sayin' it!? And people just listen to this crap!
:WhiteDwarf:: I believe we have passed by this landmark a few times.
No. 1019572 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:WhiteDwarf: : Tell :RedDwarf: to watch his blood pressure.

:WhiteDwarf:: I think it would be very reasonable to be enraged by this, in some way.
:RedDwarf:: I'm not.
:WhiteDwarf:: It could, for example, permit the awakening of a cursed, dark power, fueling a rampage.
:WhiteDwarf:: The menacing form: Blood Pressure, and all the dramatic lifespan reduction it brings.
:RedDwarf:: Oh my god.
:WhiteDwarf:: I can have your optics configured for a red color.
:RedDwarf:: I'm not mad about it!
:WhiteDwarf:: Excellent. Let's prove that by swapping off the stream.
:RedDwarf:: Wait, hold on, I need to keep-- just look at it. It's goddamn unbelievable!
:WhiteDwarf:: Hhh.

This is going nowhere fast.
No. 1019574 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:WhiteDwarf:: :RedDwarf: is approaching terminal doomscrolling. Plan out a diversion.

Did someone say plan?

You rewind your mental predictions, to find somewhere you can help him feel better this morning.
No. 1019575 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:WhiteDwarf:: Maybe if the computer was already on another, more inoffensive stream when he came in?

If you wake up just a minute or two earlier, you should be able to make that happen.
No. 1019576 ID: 0fbdcd
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You've got a few minutes to wind down for sleep, though. You just finished his necessary medical work, and :RedGiant: is bringing him to his bed in the armory. Yours, of course, is in the medical storeroom.
No. 1019577 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:WhiteDwarf:: mmmmm yumie beaker juice

In the hypothetical future where you drink a beaker of surgical sterilizing fluids, you would surgically sterilize all of your internal organs simultaneously, so, no go.

Your chemical synthesizer station is powerful, effective, and above all else, mostly lethal if you start drinking random things. You use this to produce a majority of the necessary medical supplies for your team.
No. 1019578 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:WhiteDwarf:: examine those mother fucking posters

Promotional materials for organizations and groups whose skill and power you aspire to, and are inspired by. The old gladiators of RHG. The new warriors of the Dojo Duelists. Uncountable freelancers, with immense creative skill in really cool martial arts.

You, too, wish to do cool backflips while slicing ten guys with a sword.
No. 1019579 ID: 0fbdcd
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>:WhiteDwarf: : Start examining every poster just like :RedDwarf: would do

Merch for one of your favorite pieces of horror media, documenting the historical events of a sinister, subversive insurrection performed by threatening forces in a humble church camp. Personally, you root for the Devil there.

In modern times it's mostly used as a cautionary tale against Hiveist sentiments.
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